She stands at the edge of the bridge, silent, mouth agape,
her eyes open wide and her heart aflutter.
The air around her is so still that she has to remind herself to breathe.
A world of motion whirls around her,
cars scuttling across the rain soaked highway below,
but she doesn't care.
Her world only consists of the bridge she stands on,
the expanse of air below her,
and him.
Always, him.
He stands, feet apart, hand out stretched, and a pleading look on his face.
"Please. Don't do this," he whispers into the wind,
and by some miracle, she hears.
She blinks and turns to face him.
Time becomes meaningless as she stares into his liquid brown eyes,
and the world seems to grind to a halt.
All that matters is the moment, the precious seconds that span between them.
Beautiful.
Silent.
Still.
Frozen.
And then, time speeds up and the world thaws.
The girl runs into the boy's arms as tears start streaming down her face.
All thoughts are forgotten as she melts into his embrace, safe and happy at last.
And now, another beautiful, precious moment is broken, as the universe continues on it's way.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Senpai, long time no chat! Hope you are well. As for me, I am doing great.
I like to read poems, not much though. But I can't really review them. So, I am just gonna say how I felt about it.
Subarashi poem, senpai. Just "sugoi" isn't enough. Hontony sugoi.
I like the thing that the different lengths of the lines have made it seem rhythmic to eyes. And the words are just so touching. I have never had any experience like this, still, I got so close to the character. That's wonderful.
There's a mixture of both common words and some "not much used" words. This adds a new taste to the poem. I really liked it. Also, there wasn't much metaphors or complexity in the description of the feelings.
Really an awesome poem. And the poet is awesome as well. I wanna read more of your poems.
D%u014Dmo arigat%u014Dgozaimasu kohai! Thank you! I'm so happy that you liked this, and I think actually did a good review for a poem.
Doshtashi mashite.
First things first, hello! I'm JustOneMorePoem and I'm glad to meet you!
So, down to business. I really felt touched by your poem, and, somewhere down deep in my heart, I felt a twinge of relation between me and the character's emotions. I feel like it flows just enough to where the reader knows it would have taken a bunch of thought and care, but to whereas the emotions do not seem forced. Just, overall, I felt that it was a great poem and you eloquently summarized the treasure-trove of small moments that happen in our life-time, as to where it seems the whole world stops and stares at it for a moment. So, what I'm trying to get out is that you are a very talented writer, and this is a very awe-inspiring poem.
Cheers to you writing skills!,
JustOneMorePoem :3
Thanks a lot for the review, and have a good day!
So sorry about this one above me. My computer got a little wonky, so it doubled the review.
Also, forgot to say this earlier, welcome to YWS!
It happens to me,too.