Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
You put me through a hell of a roller coaster.
I hate you.
I can't stand the fact that we're not talking.
The fact that you are annoying me intentionally irks me.
You're hot, then you're cold.
You give me signals, they scream that you feel the same.
The next day, you ignore me, blow me off, and pretend I don't exist.
What the hell is this supposed to mean?
But still,
I love you.
Your chocolately eyes...
Your raven black hair...
Your charming personality...
Your sense of humor...
Your mischievous smile...
They all make up you.
-But I don't know how much longer I can keep up with your charade.
They say that opposites attract.
I beg to differ.
She's just like you.
People enjoy being with people of similar types.
This, is not us.
I can't believe I changed myself for you.
I picked up some of your hobbies just for the sake of having something in common.
I changed the way I looked at things, the way I talked.
Now, I realize what it really means to be mean.
The way you treat other people like crap makes me feel bad about being your friend.
The very definition of mean-is you.
To think this is something you are proud of!
But I love you, because I still care.
I still have a heart.
I can't do what you do everyday.
I can't treat people like crap the way you do.
I don't pay attention to all the bad things.
I cherish the good memories.
That doesn't mean the bad ones aren't still there.
Countless times I have been trying to fall asleep, and all your hideous behaviors flash before me.
I just wish that you will remember that everything sticks with me.
I realized that you were not the one for me.
It is time I start getting over you.
I want to wish you a sincere "Good Luck!" in life.
I only wish that you find someone who cared for you,
who stuck by your side, and who loved you unconditionally as much as I did.
I wish for you to be successful in life, and that you change your twisted ways.
I can guarantee you that if you don't, you will never gain the respect you always wanted.
Sincerely, the girl who wasted her time obsessing over you
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137,903 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
Hello, this is a really interesting and good poem. I like the way in which you've been so direct in describing how you feel - almost concisely saying how it is. However, on the other hand, I would advise that you perhaps just describe how you're feeling rather than bluntly state it. Therefore, the reader can then figure out for themselves how you're feeling- through emotions hinted through gestures or actions etc. I like the repetition you used of "your" at the beginning of some of the verses - that was a really good use of directness. Well done though ! This is really cool .
Hi, I really like this poem and I think it has a lot of potential! I think you should try to incorporate more showing your emotions and not telling us if that makes sense. Make the reader have to dig a little more. I also would like to see you vary the structure of your writing even more than you did. Maybe try shortening some lines for more power and using unconventional techniques. But these are just suggestions, great job!
This piece of free verse reads like an upset break-up vent, not so much meant for the target of the narrator's anger than as an outlet.
The second and third lines catch the reader's interest early on with the contrast and establish the tone for the rest of the prose well. Kudos there.
The poem feels personal in nature, with reference to generic, yet specific things - picking up 'his' hobbies comes to mind. I can feel your real frustration and betrayal at the end of this relationship, and I'm sure many people who have been in similar situations will resonate.
The segment about cherishing the good, but remembering the bad is solid life advice, and coming out a relationship like the one the poem suggests with that attitude is a definitive positive. Good for the narrator!
This piece uses dashes in a strange way. Is it intentional? I'm not sure, and that's no good.
The odd chunk of text at the bottom seems like it should read like the rest of poem, with each sentence on its own line.
I would ask why you chose to sign in italics at the very bottom as well. The comma between 'obsessing' and 'over you' breaks the flow somewhat, and should either be removed or the whole signature spaced out, like the rest of the poem.
Overall, this is a human poem powered by evident emotions that mostly needs just a little bit of a format tweak to work the way it seems intended to.
Sorry about your break-up. You're definitely better off without him, handsome or no.
Thank you very much for the awesome review! I changed all the parts with the dashes. I also changed the chunk at the bottom and un-italisized the signature. Thanks for bringing my attention to this!
It reads much better now. Yay!