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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
I love this poem... so much.
Also, a period after the third line in the second stanza.
A little editing here, but not much. As someone may have pointed out, "velvety" has only one 't'. Also, I think you need a comma after the second line. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm about 90% sure.
Once again, I absolutely love this wonderful poem you have written. There are many people I think of when I see a shooting star... So many. (Stops reminiscing.) Well, there's proof it's a good poem; you got me to reminisce/ tear up. =)
Superb job!
~The Scratt
I really like this! It's a beautiful piece with a subtle touching message. It's not too strong, and has a sort of gentle, emotional feel.
The description of the sky and stars are really good. You don't go into too much detail into a single thing, but rather describe what is happening in an 'open' fashion that leaves the reader to imagine the scene clearly.
As aouther2b said, the imagery is lacking in the last two stanzas, but it doesn't seem to be a poem made to describe something in particular, so I think it's alright. The flow of the poem is good, but maybe you should have made the second and third stanza a little more flowing. i can't tell why, but it seems a little off.
The last stanza does not really follow the others when it comes to the number of lines in the stanza, and if this was intentional, it gives quite a nice effect in bringing out the emotion in this poem, as the last line is the most important in portraying this. I presume that the persona is talking about a dead loved one (wife/sister?)
Well, I'm not usually up for reviewing poetry, but I really liked this!
Sorry, I tend to repeat myself. Keep writing!
-Binder
Oh and also: " the velvetty blackness of..." was misspelled. Just in case you didn't notice.
Very pretty and well written. The flow is a bit choppy in "And then I see one/ That breaks free and shoots to/ I know not where". It was just a little off, but it does a great job of setting a mood for it.
The first stanza created great imagery, but it started lacking later on in the poem. It would have been nice to see more, especially with hw will you did the start. Grammar is fine. I loved how you compared the starts to dimonds. Great piece!
Hi. This is beautiful.
Okay, this made me cry a little. It is so relivent to me at the moment, really well done. To capture a thought, a heartfelt moment in time. That I think so many could realte to at one point in their lives.