The Beat
Tap to the beat
Amare, amor
Flow with it
I tap and clap
The beat is sweet
Play it on repeat
I hum and nod
Is it me
Or it's the beat
I cant stop it
I won't stop it
Glad to hear it
Glad i found it
Flows in my veins
Tap clap hum nod
I cant resist
Stand jump shout dance
It ends and reloops
I never notice
Loop to eternity
The snares and kicks
Indeed genius work
Perfect transitions
Drop to the ground
Jump to the sky
I let it control
My mind bones flesh heart
But its not fun
To dance alone
I tap alone
Nod alone
Hum alone
The beat slows down
I sit and think
I think deep
I shake my head
Bury my face in my hands
Look to the sky
The birds cant dance
I look around
They wont feel it
The rhythm in the beat
I close my eyes
Let the beat rule
I wont stop it
It picks speed
I gain hope
I stand up
Hum nod tap clap
It reloops
I hear the beat
Wherever i may be
The mp3 in my heart
The speaker in my mind
Glad i feel it
I live the beat
Amare, amor
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139,669 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
Hello, here for another review.
Although, most of the time, mistakes like this one are typos, you should still watch out for them, because they can make your poem lose apparent quality.This poem was also pretty good. The verses are really short and usually contain a similar number of syllables, so that gives a really good and fast flow to your poem, which makes me doubt if it actually is a poem or if it not, in fact, a song. (And if it were a song, I'm sure it would be a really catchy one that people would play at clubs or something)
Now, there aren't really many mistakes that need to be fixed, but there are still a few things I must say.
When you talk about yourself, "i" is always capitalized:
Then, contractions always use apostrophes:
In sentences like this one, where you enumerate things, a comma would make it look better:
After those mistakes which repeat themselves a few times, nothing else seems to be wrong. Good job on your poem, and keep on writing cool things!
Hi there!
I like the twist into this sadder, deeper feeling about being alone. That love for the beat and sadness at not having anyone to share it with. The recognition that others (like birds) will never appreciate it. And I like the repetition at the end.
The beat is strong, but not as strong as it could be. I actually struggled a bit to hear it, and for this kind of poem it should be hit-you-over-the-head-with-it obvious. Think about ways it could become clearer; it might be easier if the lines are combined or longer.
Hope this helps! Good jamming!
-BFG