From the first day your beauty graced my eyes,
I have set my eyes on your face
But still kept my interests at bay.
Yes, of late I have seen beauty
Both pleasant and tempting
But only yours has stirred something
That I would want to feel again.
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140,691 Literary Works • 673,612 Reviews
hey buddy, chitz here for a review, after very long.
} connect so much on the universal topic of love, we are just so driven to it. and this is the kind of genre i read over here.
so starting with this, i must tell you i hate reading long long unless, unless one has a sticking start. so naturally i loved reading your this piece. i feel like we, who attempt to weave words together in poetry { i don't like using the word 'poet' for myself, it feels better when someone else quotes you with it
sorry for talking about other stuff, but this is was a beautiful reading experience. short, straight and sweet. you are talking about someone who's just one look, took the breathe away and is settled in you forever. and this actually happens in real life, so making it more relate able . the word choice and flow fits perfectly, since it was short the format isn't a tension. one can live through the poem while reading it, hence cheers for the same. You have simply done a great job.
hope to read more of you soon!
regards
Thanks for the review!
**My Thoughts**
Hey @anarki! How are you? LZ here with a review! I liked this poem. It was short and sweet and all-in-all, a wonderful poem.
**Formatting and Grammar**
I liked how you didn't separate this poem into stanzas. It is very short, so separating the poem may have made it seem shorter. I also liked how it was double spaced.
As for grammar, I didn't notice anything wrong.
**Punctuation and Capitalization**
You did use some punctuation, which I liked. Maybe if you would of used more commas, it would seem more complete. The poem didn't seem complete enough. As for capitalization, it was fine!
**Other**
I have seen many poems with topics like this, but not exactly the same thing. I liked how this one was, like, someone's re-awakening to love. It was very nice.
Keep on writing, I loved this poem. Have a good Monday!
Thanks for the review @LZPianoGirl! I'm glad you loved the poem. I will work on punctuation in my future poems. Have a good Tuesday!
Aww this is the sweetest poem I have read in a long time, so much emotion is every word, it's just so deep.
*Cough*
Sorry about, Anyway I'm FlamingPhoenix and I'm going to leave a review for you on this wonderful night.
Like this said this is a really cute poem, there is such a deep meaning behind it, and that is what makes it so good. Your word choice also helped with the meaning behind it. I have know idea how you poets can do this, you make it look so easy, but its really hard. XD
I also like the flow you have here, it's very nice, I didn't under stand to meaning behind your name for this poem, but when I began to read it all clicked into place, and I'm really impressed with this peace. This will have to go in my best list.
So i really couldn't see anything wrong with this poem other than what @Avgrant pointed out.
So I hope I will get to read more of your work soon, and I hope you will never stop writing and post again soon, have a great day or night. Either one.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Thanks for the review! I'm really glad you loved this poem. I will definitely work on what @Avgrant pointed out. Have a good day or night too!
Thanks for the review! I'm really glad you loved this poem. I will definitely work on what @Avgrant pointed out. Have a good day or night too!
I'm glad to hear!
Very sweet!
Hello there! Vagrant here for a quick short review.
Firstly, loved the poem. It was short, sweet and a nice read. I think the idea was simple and the poem succeeds in conveying what was intended.
The speaker's appreciation for the beauty of their love interest is evident; however, I would have loved if you added a couple of lines describing his/her beauty. As the reader, I get that the writer has been mesmerized by their crush's beauty but it's not clear why. So, a suggestion could be to just add a couple of lines, not much, drawing some comparisons or something to describe their beauty. What that does is that it gives the reader an idea of who the poem is about, why the writer liked him/her and also creates a richer reading experience.
As far as the writing style is concerned, it's nice. I won't comment much on the structure or word choice as the length of the piece is short, but it's good.
Some slight pointers could be the following:
- You could add a comma after '...first day' in the first line.
- Maybe add a period after the last line.
Overall, I think the poem was heartwarming and sweet.
Also, no offense to you. Feel free to ignore any or all of my suggestions. We're here to learn and grow, and help each other become better
Keep writing!
Cheers!
Thanks for the review!