z

Young Writers Society



Seals of Love

by anarki


Beautiful one,
your name my poems shall praise.
Time and again;
I will declare my love in prose
and promise it in abundance.

Gorgeous,
to what do I compare you to?
Perfection and brilliance
is embedded in all you do;
that is why at times I lack words.

Dearest of my heart;
pleasured to be loved by you will I be.
Day and night;
not content will i be
‘til my love is sealed in your heart.

O lovely one,
my promises with love I seal.
Yours and mine
will be fused with zeal;
then I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.


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31 Reviews


Points: 2199
Reviews: 31

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Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:17 am
Alfonso22 wrote a review...



Lovely gorgeous and beautiful. The poem is an expression of strong admiration for the physical beauty of someone. WE are told this from the outset and it is repeated throughout. As a reader I can appreciate strong admiration, however I can't see the person spoken about because no visual imagery is used. Is it a female or male?

Perfection is a subjective evaluation since it varies from person to person and culture to culture. Women wearing lip plates are considered perfect sometimes. Certain tribes in Mexico considered cockeyed women exotic. So tastes vary, and what one person views as beautiful another might consider grotesque. Some people consider headhunters brilliant.

A detailed description or brief reference to what it is that the speaker considers beautiful would serve to clarify. It can include such things as the eyes, the lips, the skin, the hair, the curvature of thighs and buttocks, the silkiness of skin, the melodious sound of a voice etcetera. Otherwise the reader is left wondering what indeed it might be is that the writer is praising as beatiful.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/po ... h-examples


I think you meant "infused" not "fused".




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Points: 201
Reviews: 69

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Sat Mar 14, 2020 11:53 pm
brookeallo wrote a review...



I really liked this poem. I will say that you have a really unique way of writing some poems kinda all seem to follow the same rules/ structure and this one doesn't making it stand out so I really like the style. There are a few grammar mishaps here and there. I would say that at the end of the first and second stanza there seems that there should be a period. Also in the third stanza the P in pleasured is capitalized and based on the punctuation it shouldn't be since there is no period ending the line before that. Also in the second sentence of the third stanza the W in Will is capitalized and I think it might look better if it wasn't. The poem says sealed and then seal again and it interupts the flow a little. I would also suggest ending the poem with a period. Overall it was really good especially the theme how it was written the word choice, and how it flowed. I hope to read and review more from you soon. :)




anarki says...


Thank you @brookeallo. Punctuation clearly isn't my strongest forte. Thank you for pointing out the errors. I'm editing the poem to fix them. Have a good day/night! :-)



anarki says...


Now that you have pointed out how the use of the word "sealed" interrupts the flow a little, I can't "unnotice it":-). I'll think of a word which can replace it. Thank you once more! You'll definitely read more from me.



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21 Reviews


Points: 2144
Reviews: 21

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Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:57 pm
albedo says...



This is very well written poem. The format is simple and not too sophisticated. I really love your vocabulary and you did a nice job including big words which my personal preference makes it a good read. The use of your words were not misused either and it makes it more simplified and easier to understand. (If that makes sense.)

Very good job!
😊




anarki says...


Thank you @IIUMBRELLAZ. I'm really glad you found this poem to be a good read. Have a good day/night! :-)



User avatar
21 Reviews


Points: 2144
Reviews: 21

Donate
Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:56 pm
albedo wrote a review...



This is very well written poem. The format is simple and not too sophisticated. I really love your vocabulary and you did a nice job including big words which my personal preference makes it a good read. The use of your words were not misused either and it makes it more simplified and easier to understand. (If that makes sense.)

Very good job!
😊





I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins.
— nogutsnoglory