This dynamic heart:
Weak enough to love;
Enchanted by your beauty,
Purity like a white dove
But strong enough to let go,
Still hoping you wont go forever.
This love:
Unconditional is what I percieve.
Love me I love you back;
Something I then considered insane.
Now I am stung with a jealousy so dark,
Seeing you happy with another man.
Now only a yearning,
Perhaps I should be moving.
I tried do but can't.
What do I want?
I loved too much
But was deserted like a filthy ranch.
This pride:
I tried to put aside
And be a gentleman;
Something I needed not to learn.
I am ever too proud to shed tears,
So I feign to be fierce.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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128,087 Literary Works • 671,488 Reviews
Hey there, anarki! Happy review day! I'm Mialynire and hopefully I'll write you a review!
I'm not a romantic poetry reader and I don't really understand those much :3 but, I did yours and I would like to say, it's pretty awesome!
The starting is nice,
I love when someone tells a story in their work instead of making them totally strange. I mean, yes, works with metaphors and other stuff are brilliant and need skilled writers but, as long as I don't understand those, they really don't say much to me!
and,
Mostly because I can relate. It's strange how superego (Freud's psychoanalysis theory, anyone? >.<) can poke it's nose in love. I have this experience and I can feel you. But, you know what, no matter how much we say, love isn't really selfless. After all, we are human, we want to know what's in there for us. Thus, love seems a little confusing to me.
Whatever, you've written a brilliant poem here, you could separate it with stanzas to make it look more organized as well- just a suggestion. Anyway, keep writing. Hope you have fun! Big love! xx
Also, Hello from my team- Team Jawbreaker!
Hey... Thanks. I always feel good whenever another person appreciates my work, in fact, everybody does. I am sorry that this reply is 3 months late, these months were long busy months. Talking about love, yes, it is strange. Today, someone tells you he/she loves you, then months later, you are told that he/she no longer believes in love, strange. Love, love, love... It has made strong men to cry etc etc. .
However, for me, poetry is my solace... That is why many of my poems are sad poems. When things are not working out, I express myself to poems. I wrote several of poems like this one %uD83D%uDC46.. I'll post em once I have enough points.
Hey... Thanks. I always feel good whenever another person appreciates my work, in fact, everybody does feel good when their work is appreciated. I am sorry that this reply is 3 months late, these months were long busy months. Talking about love, yes, it is strange. Today, someone tells you he/she loves you, then months later, you are told that he/she no longer believes in love, strange. Love, love, love... It has made strong men to cry etc etc. .
However, for me, poetry is my solace... That is why many of my poems are sad poems. When things are not working out, I express myself to poems. I wrote several of poems like this one %uD83D%uDC46.. I'll post em once I have enough points. I can hide many things in a poem, and indeed, in this time and age, many people ignore written forms of art, so only few people will know how I think when I am down. That is what I love about poetry. Thank you once more. I am happy you enjoyed reading my poem.
so this is pretty good, I like what you did here
the beginning was a but scratchy, scratchy to me is a nother way to say rushed or not settle, but it is ok 
but I LOVED the end it was so good! I do not think it was vary corny, witch is good 
great even! so from a 1 to 10 I would put this into a 7 or 8, nice job! the work u have here is pretty fantastic just fix the beginning I little bit and u will be just fin 
so keep up the good work and I would love to reed more of your stuff wen I get the chance 
Thanks. I have been having problems with the online editor. I have been having trouble with the online editor. I tried putting space between the stanzas in vain so i left the poem as it is.