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so much unsaid

by alliyah

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25 Reviews

Points: 73
Reviews: 25

Tue Jul 23, 2019 11:38 pm
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LJF wrote a review...

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

First of all, I love the way the lines are spaced, carefully moving back and forth. I like the style you chose of not using capitals or periods-- it made the poem feel more personal. This poem just felt so real, raw and honest. Reading it, I was reminded of a particular person in my life, and I'm sure everyone who reads it will feel the same. You've written a poem every single person can personally relate to-- color me impressed.

i love your use of metaphor and similie, and that image that you used and reversed (did you draw that yourself?) matches the feeling of the poem perfectly. Thid whole poem is just absolutely AMAZING!!!

alliyah says...

Thanks I appreciate the comments! I wrote this during National Poetry Month - & yep I drew the little plant pictures!

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562 Reviews

Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:23 pm
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, FlamingPhoneix were with a short review for you on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

Okay let's begin.
So this was a really well written poem, I mean I've read lot's of your poems, but to me this seems to be the best so far, it's so unique, I haven't read anything like it. How your words just flow together like water in a river, also allowing a really good flow too.
To me this felt really deep in emotion, and it also sounded like a story in away. I'm just loving the descriptive words to, it places a wonderful image in my head.
Now your title is a really good choice, it grabbed me and dragged me in here to come read your work, and I'm really glad I did, reading this was almost therapeutic in away. It made me relax, and I love that.
I'm digging the way you have set up your poem to, the way you have put the words it's almost like a root. It's makes it look really pretty.

So I did see one little thing. In one of your sentences at the top you said soft three times in a row. Maybe take one of them out, or change it to another word. Just a suggestion.

Well that's all from me for now, I'm really glad I read and review your work. This poem just made my day, and I might come and read it a few more times! XD. Anyway keep writing amazing things and have a great day or night.

Your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

alliyah says...

<3 Thanks so much FlamingPhoenix! I appreciate it and glad you enjoyed the poem!

Well thank you for writing such a amazing poem!

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109 Reviews

Points: 11267
Reviews: 109

Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:05 am
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silvermoon17 wrote a review...

Your poem has a beautiful extended metaphor of this whole plant and soil thing. The images really depicts the whole idea, and it can even make you think. (I also should point out your name at the bottom of the page, i rarely see that. But I didn’t even know it was from you until I saw it. It has a use at least, though it sticks out a bit as odd)
There’s also the way you shaped the poem. The outside I mean. It’s like, twisting really; it’s original I must say. I have rarely seen poems that shape.
What I remarked though, is the way you show the evolution. You start with words left to guess, to the worry minds, and then you finally use the extended metaphor of the soil and plant; which you never really link to any of the past paragraphs. People might, on first thought; think it might be you made that on purpose to make us think- but just in case, I need to tell you that an evolution in a poem must be clear. Even slightly present for the untrained eye. In your case, it’s not the extended metaphor or the structure of paragraph or even the words you use- but rather your title.
The words left unsaid.
The words left unsaid, like the main context of that first and second stanza, like the little italic passage where the words left unsaid make one’s mind curl and unfold like wallpaper, like the flower garden growing inside out. Now I get your poem is made to make us think- but do not warp your structure and imagery and words in such way- sometimes simple things demonstrate complexity.

alliyah says...

Thank you! :)

"I feel like if men sent unsolicited dragon pics instead of *other* unsolicited pics they’d get a lot further in life"
— ShadowVyper