I******** POEM

Wow!

You have a cool style of writing. And I was amazed by the appearance of missing vowels. I understood all, except for sk_ (I thought it was ski~nahh I'm just weird). The ending though, surprised me. I was like, "...uhhh should I, what? What's the word? Is it from the missing letters?" Then I remembered about cryptography that you have to find something to break a code. Then I saw the title. And I finally understood what it meant.

Your poem was like a calm and serene pond yet so deep and profound. I've also learned some inspiration from your poem. Thank you and keep it up.

It's review time!!!!

Woah this is really cool. I've never read a poem like this before it is quite unique. After reading it I instantly smiled not that the content was happy but I just really enjoy the way it was written. You should write all your poems like this it really creates more impact. Overall I really enjoyed your poem. Can't wait to read other things you write good luck! Message me if you ever have any questions!

Becca here for a review.

I LOVE this poem. I love this poem not only for its ingenuity in utilizing missing letters as both a device and a motif for ineffability, but for the language of the poem itself. I like thinking about the "stars" being "too incredible for the sky"--what a thought!--and just watching the sky swallowing syllables that float between fireflies--beautiful!--the divine and profane touching, and the idea of simply being present being enough. I think the choice to end by not ending was a bold one, and counter-intuitively, I thought it really worked. Keep up the great writing!

Legacy here for a review.

I like the idea of having blanks were certain letters should be, but some of the words were hard to understand because of that. I do love the idea that you only took out vowels in the words that had to deal with religion and communication (although I had to look in the comments to realise that). I had a hard time understanding the ending, but I read down in the comments and understand that now.

I personally am not religious but I do like the content and the way that you delivered it. It is different than most people say it without having it too far off the balance that people can't understand.

Only thing I would recommend is making sure that the word can still be understood when you take out letters and regular punctuation and capitalization (please). Legacy.

Hello!

First some quick little nitpick things!

"too incredible in a sk_" I haven't heard the phrase "a sky" a lot. Seems more fitting to be "the sky" unless, of course you're meaning for it to be read directly into the next line like "a sky that swallows"
Because of this confusion, I am going to recommend that you use prose grammar and punctuation (only capitalizing at the beginning of the sentence, and clearly marking where sentences end, etc.) because this poem already has the reader trying to figure out what the words are. That's hard enough without also making them figure out where the sentences stop and start. Because I was taking several extra milliseconds to read each line, the whole poem itself comes across as very choppy. It doesn't really flow. Obviously to fix that you could fill in the words, but that's the whole point (not the POINT just the unique feature) of the poem. So instead, I recommend that you just make it easier to figure out how the sentences fit together, i.e. prose punctuation and capitalization. Plus you aren't avoiding punctuation completely in this. You do have a period in here once. Be more consistent and just put them in the needed places through the whole poem!

(and I'm sure it goes without saying that you don't have to capitalize every line. I don't know whyyyy people like that! It's not a rule, and it just make everything look weirdly off-balance, like the left side is too heavy or something haha. I usually am fine with it though, but in this particular poem's case, I really think it would be better for sentence case.)

Wow that was just supposed to be a nitpick but it immediately went to one of the bigger points I was gonna make.

"And the D_v_n_
And the profane have touched"
"Have" seems like a weird, old, archaic way of putting this sentence. It just seems all backwards like yoda-talk, you know? Also I had a hard time figuring out what "D_v_n_" was.

"our l_ng__g_ fails" if this word is supposed to be "longing" then you have an extra _ at the end.

"c_nsc___sn_ss" I definitely didn't realize what this was at all until I just casually looked at it after being in another tab for like 15 minutes.

Ok! Onto content.
Honestly, I wasn't a huge fan of this content. Maybe it was just because I didn't know where the sentences began or ended, but a lot of it seemed disconnected and confusing. Like, I don't know what message you were trying to say in the middle. I understood up up until "And the D_v_n_ // And the profane have touched" and after that it just all seemed disconnected and confusing. And then I started to understand again at "Some say strength is heavy"
But thematically, I think everything could have been stronger and tighter. I recommend writing this out with all the words filled in, just so you can read straight through it. Look for awkward phrases and sentences that don't make sense. Images that are unexplained (for example the "writing on the wall" what was that? there are others as well)

Look for some message that would be benefited by this little letter-omission gimmick. Something where the missing letters would create a deeper meaning. Maybe you could write something where someone with like, for example, a negative attitude would read into it a negative message, where the opposite would be true for a positive person? That sound really hard, I don't know. But as this seems to be spiritual, maybe make a solid metaphor about things missing in life without God? I don't know. I don't want to make you go a new direction, I just feel like this poem as it is, is rather directionless. Maybe I'm just missing something.

Anyway, I think it was pretty cool!
Hopefully this helped!
Keep writing!
~fortis

Is the......... is the WHHHHAAAAAAT! Hehehe

Hello, alliyah! Keep here for a quick review! I must say I commend you for capitalizing the first word of every stanza. If you know me, then you know that's a pet-peeve of mine. So, this poem is already on the up and up. I'm not a fan of free verse though because normal people don't care to add any extra effort into it. This poem, however, was not the case! I love the meaning behind it, and I think everyone can relate to it especially now with our "politically correct" society where everything is ******* sensored get my joke? okay.... . Anyways! I really don't have any problems with it except that the title isn't capitalized Hehe. Great work and keep writing! I'd love to read more future works like this from you in the future.

~Keep <3