Young Writers Society

Hey, alliyah! I'm sorry to dig up such an old (and I'm sorry if it's cringy for you ;-;) work, but this caught my eye as I scrolled through th political works on YWS because it had your name. And I was like "Hey, I know that person! Lemme read it!"

And lemme just say, I loved this so fricking much.

So, without further ado, my review! Did that accidentally rhyme? oops XD

Night of the People Review
Reading that for the first time-- ah, my heart! You've hit all the right points here. They are overly tolerant, saying "sure, you can do these things" because they'd rather not step on any toes than improve society as a whole-- at least, that's how I'm reading it :P

People of the Sun Review
So, for me, the second poem is more based on "sometimes we need to take action to improve things, even if peace is preferred." That's the moral of the story I'm getting here. Again, you hit all the right points, and it works out to be a really awesome poem, and I love it!!

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Hi, alliyah. This is Pinkie here for a special review. Well, this isn't special because people always do this. Anyway, let's get to reviewing.

Like everyone said, this is a great poem that you wrote. I read it backward and forward like you said. It is like a fun game of music. However, it is pretty confusing until I read your comment. I now understand what it is about. I really enjoyed this story. You made a great masterpiece. I hope to read more from you.

I hope this is a great review for you.

Have a lovely day,

Your reviewer, Pinkie

Alright, in case anyone ever reads this again, I would like to quickly clarify the meaning of both poems.

In the "Night of the People" it talks about people who love tolerance ("And beg: tolerance"), peace, and inaction they just listen to the birds sing but don't really hear anything from the birds. They're fine with inaction to the point that they're okay with watching people die and cry around them: "All to graves! Cry more!". They don't take a stand: "Never they are good for stands". They just think it's better to "wait before change". So even though there's bad stuff happening all around them they would rather deal with the death, flames, and crying then to break the "circles with peace". These waiting people are like the night cold and unmoving but peaceful.

This contrasts with the people in the poem read the other way in "People of the Sun" who like the sun are full of life and action even if it causes conflict. These people take a "stand for good" they aren't willing to wait around: "Life is better". They say that the graves and crying must stop. And that sound must be heard . Through the graves and death we must resurrect from the flame. Although the people of the Night were "love and death" these people of the sun are "greeting, encircling" (like the sun/sky). They experience, move, and really understand the world. They too hear the birds like the people of the night but only the people of the sun will find meaning in the birds' message.

The point or message I'm trying to make with the poems is that tolerance/peace can be appealing but sometimes the world needs action to fix it's conflicts not just bystanders to watch the world crumble. So the "People of the Sun" are supposed to seem like the good people, but maybe the "People of the Night" appeal to others out there... it just depends how you flip the poem.

So that was a long explanation, but I felt like people thought I was just writing gobbly-gook without any sense or meaning to it. Thank you for reading!

Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to imagine how you would go about trying to tackle a project like this. Just thinking about trying to do this makes my head hurt. How did you plan it? What was your process? I'd really like to hear about it, 'cause it might help figure out how to make revisions effectively. Right now, I'm a little reluctant to make specific suggestions since I know that any revisions might completely mess up your intended meanings of either poem.

On one read through it seemed to mainly hit the general points, but when I read through a second time, I got really bothered by the fact that I couldn't seem to find a natural flowing sentence anywhere. I understand it's ridiculously hard to do, but it ruined the experience for me. And because I don't really know the process, I also don't really know how to recommend fixes!

I guess the one thing I could potentially suggest would be keeping the verb tenses present and constant. That way, we don't have to worry about getting weird past tense phrases and how to weave them in. That might be helpful. You also might have already tried it. But if not, it's probably worth a shot, right?

The last note I had was that the meaning of the two poems didn't seem entirely different. The first poem seemed to glorify the sun just to a lesser degree than the first. It didn't necessarily seem to glorify night. D:

PM me if you have any questions or comments about my review. And I really would like to hear how you go about making a poem like this!

Thanks and keep writing~

Hi, Alliyah,

An old friend of mine used to write poems like this, one that could be read backwards and forwards, and I admit that they're enjoyable in their own right and definitely fun to write. However, I'm not sure what this poem is about. Backwards or forwards, it's hard to decipher a coherent message from it, although you have tidbits of pretty imagery throughout the poem. In my opinion, a good poem is one that draws the reader in, and entertains them by gracefully connecting ideas and telling a story or evoking emotion.

I think the problem here, dear, is that you worked so hard on making lines sound good both forwards and backwards, that you forgot to leave yourself room for transitional words. As a result, this poem feels like a ladder of fragments (although very pretty fragments), and doesn't tell us a story. I don't understand how the people of the sun relate to the other images in the poem, such as night being love and death (an image I love; good job ) at all. I feel like I'm missing a humongous chunk of understanding that belongs in this, but you're not lending me enough room to interpret the poem enough for us to reach a level of understanding that allows us to like the poem.

To sum it all up, I think you have an eye for pretty images, but your connectivity needs work, dear. Keep writing, and I look forward to reading more from you.

Happy review day,
June

Hello there it's Speakerskat here to review for you and the wonderful team Dreamwave!
Happy review day!

Well I must say I really enjoyed being able to read it both backwards and fowards, but I also think that might have hurt your poem here because I really didn't get what you were trying to say in this pome. The main idea was a little hazy. I got the thing you kept saying about time and truth, and I think after thinking it over the point becomes a little more clear. I really did feel like I was one of the people of the sun though and I loved all the detail and time you put into making it readable both ways and that is definatley something I have not seen before , very good job there. I encourage you to keep on writing and aim for the stars!

Keep it up
~Sperakerskat

Wow, I have to say, this is one of the most unique poems I have read.

I loved the way that the poem could be read backwards and forwards, it just shows how much time and effort you put in to writing this poem.

I think this poem has a nice flow and feel to it, I think you did this very well considering that you had to make sure everything could be read backwards and forwards.

I didn't find anything in terms of grammer, but then again, I'm no expert so I will let other people cover that.

I loved the way you described everything and I felt that this piece was beautifully written and it paints a picture in the readers mind, at least in my opinion.

I just love almost everything about this piece except (and this is just me) I didn't really get what was happening, I read everything and thought it was great but the message just didn't come across to me. I don't know, just something for you to think about and it is just my opinion.

Even though I didn't get the message the first time around though doesn't mean I won't get it after a few more read throughs, and thats what I love about this piece, is that you can read through it over and over again and it doesn't get old. In fact, the more I read it, the more I appreciated it.

I love the unique style of this piece and thought that is was very well written out, it is something I haven't read before and I think you have a great voice while writing.

Just out of curiosity, did you use any rhyming pattern or meter that I didn't pick up on? Because that could definitely add to the flow of the piece. Or did you just do a free form style?

All in all, I think this is a great and very unique piece that I liked very much and I hope to read some more unique work from you in the future!