Young Writers Society

Hi there alliyoghurt! Lim here with a poetry review.

First Impressions and Interpretation

The poem feels breathless, except for the middle part where there is a slight lull, a calm before the storm, and it picks up again. The thing that strikes me most is the role of contrasts and oxymorons, for example “summer” being associated with water imagery, and the sun being a freshwater fish. A lot of the imagery feels very surreal, at times even playful, contrasting the speaker’s intense feelings. Another line that stood out was:

watching for the place on the horizon that tells me the tide had turned

Reading this aloud, the rhythm seems to be a bit more regular and deliberate here, which made me take notice. It creates the feeling of anticipation, reflecting the speaker’s hope and fear, perhaps.

The poem seems to be about taking risks and daring to hope. A lot of lines suggest the speaker is betting or counting on something, like “throwing my heart into the bottom of the sea/ hoping i remember how to swim”, and “waiting for the tide to return”. At the same time, the speaker wants to conceal this hope, which is revealed in the last few lines. The images “ignoring-the-hurricane energy” and “sunburnt-heart-aesthetic” take a surprising turn, sounding a lot more ‘modern’ or social-media-esque than the rest of the poem. I interpreted this as showing how the speaker is trying to conceal their honest feelings by putting on something more . . . facile? Atop the images of depth that came before, like the 1000 leagues.

Imagery and Language

One strength of this poem is the development of its imagery. I like how the different contrastive elements still fit well with each other and motifs remain consistent throughout. For example, the “bucket list” is used in clever ways, 1. As a reference to how people take risks like sky-diving when following their bucket list in the first stanza, with the image about throwing one’s heart into the sea, and 2. Linking to the depth of the sea by making a pun with the depth of a literal bucket in the second stanza. I think the “freshwater fish” in the last stanza might also reflect how fish are often kept in buckets? It made me think quite a bit and the results of the thinking were some interesting, imaginative images that convey the slightly dream-like atmosphere of the poem.

On a side note, something that feels familiar about this poem (since I’ve been reading your poetry for quite some time c: ) is the use of a metaphor that ‘sets up’ the setting of the poem? The phrase “my summer is a bucket list” is repeated at the beginning of each of the three parts of the poem, so it sort of seems like everything that happens, from the swimming to the waiting, happens in the world of this ‘bucket-list summer’ rather in say, a ‘real’ beach or a ‘real’ ocean.

Structure, Rhythm and Sound Devices

I’m not sure if this is something to improve on per say, but like I mentioned in the First Impressions, the poem is very ‘breathless’ to read. There is a pace change in the lines from “& what seems impossibly impossible” to “& to be absolutely truthful”, but after that it seems to me that the pace picks right back up to the one from the first stanza. I have a feeling that there’s supposed to be a pause there before “at least before someone drowns”, but there’s no end-line punctuation there, so the automatic response for me is to just keep reading on.

I also initially found the use of semi-colons distracting, until I remembered that people sometimes separate their list items with semi-colons rather than commas or bullet points, and then it made more sense as a formatting choice.

Favourite Lines and Images

the only ingredient between broken-glass & sea-glass

I really love the image this conjures up in my head! The combination of “broken” and “sea” with “glass” makes me think of a lot of sensory textures, like the ruggedness of ‘broken’ and the smoothness of ‘sea’.

impossibly distant / impossibly impossible

This was a great development/ build-up across two lines, and I like how it connects the idea distant = impossible as well.

Overall

The poem seems to be a good reflection of multiple aspects of the speaker’s emotions. It conveys a story about someone who is trying to take a risk but also afraid, while also thinking the risk is the right one to take as well. Though the pacing and rhythm stays at the same high key for most of the poem, the combination and development of the images certainly makes it a memorable one.

Hope some of this helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Liminoodle