z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

conversing with a locust about the weather on the hottest day of the year

by alliyah


The weatherman said the summer-heat was record-breaking this year, like we should award it an Olympic medal or something. But the locust, perched on her windowsill, tells me heat isn't relative - but a constant - because even in the night, the sun is always shining on the other half of the planet, it is a pot always almost over-boiling, it is a flower always blooming, it is a fire always on the verge of consuming everything, it just always is, and if it bothers you, just take a moment to float in the river, and you'll soon forget your worry once you're halfway submerged underwater. I would tell the locust that humans don't work that way, that we always need something to compare and something to complain about, that we probably wouldn't be able to survive the winter if we loved the sun that much. But the locust does not have time for me. She is quite busy, as she always is, trying once more to chase the sun. And she doesn't really care how terribly, constantly, wonderfully hot it is outside today.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1231 Reviews

Points: 144350
Reviews: 1231

Donate
Stickied -- Fri Aug 25, 2023 8:48 pm
View Likes
alliyah says...



Thank you for taking the time to read!

Please Note: This poem is written in the form of prose poetry - meaning I intended to write this in a "prose-like" way formatted like a paragraph, rather than using conventional poetic formatting like line-breaks and stanza-breaks. Prose poetry does not necessarily need to adhere to the same grammatical conventions of your typical prose either.

Would love to know what you think; your thoughts / impressions / interpretations!

~ alliyah




User avatar
128 Reviews

Points: 1378
Reviews: 128

Donate
Mon Aug 28, 2023 6:43 pm
GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review (I'm on mobile tho so rip T-T)

This is probably my first exposure to prose poetry, and now I think it's very cool! I may look into some more or make some of my own.

I like how the run-on sentence makes it feel like an actual conversation, because conversations don't often adhere perfectly to the rules of grammar.

The way I interpreted this is that we're constantly trying to be better. Like, people don't just stop once they reach a big goal or achieve something--they are always moving forward.

Keep up the good work, and have a good day / night!

--GengarIsBestBoy




User avatar
84 Reviews

Points: 224
Reviews: 84

Donate
Fri Aug 25, 2023 9:34 pm
View Likes
ariah347 wrote a review...



Hey there! First off, I am unfamiliar with prose poetry, so you taught me something! Second, I love your avatar. Our names start with the same letter :D

On to my review...

1) This evoked such vivid imagery for me! You use a lot of great descriptions and metaphors that really bring this to life. I really appreciated the portion that follows 'because even in the night' to 'consuming everything.'
2) The repetitive use of the word "always" really pushes this forward in terms of giving it cohesivity. I count it five times, and that repeated use in succession, as well as toward the end, in a very similar yet different format gave this a predictability that made reading it easier while still being entertaining
3) I am always one to read between the lines, and with italics, bolding things, or underlining things, I find that when they are done with purpose and intentionality, they really allow for a work to be heightened. I noticed that the words 'constant' and 'always' (which is twice) are italicized. I'm not sure if you did this on purpose to reflect or stress these words, but in the phrases/sentences they are in, they had me reading this with inflection and intonation that brought those words to the forefront further.
4) I must say this makes me wish I was a locust LOL. Great read!!

Take care wherever you are in the world!




alliyah says...


Thanks for the terrific review! Helpful observations ~
You're right the "always is" being italicized twice was intentional to amplify the parallelism between the sun and the locust - the sun "always is" and the locust also "always is" - my intention was to make the reader wonder if the locust was the sun, or a metaphor for the sun, and to amplify the difference/contrast between the locust & sun and the human perspective.

Good catch, seeing the repetition there! I'm glad you enjoyed - and I also agree A is the best letter there is. Have a good day!




It's crazy how your life can be twisted upside down inside out and around and you can get sushi from safeway still looking like a normal person
— starchild314