Young Writers Society

Hi this is Spartan 118 here for a super awesome amazing super awesome cool fun time review and I hope you love my review.
First off the title to this poem is really eye catching and it makes me wonder if you are ok and who you would die for. Second the main part of this poem is if the person you died for would even notice what you did for them. Third I want to know are you ok like this poem seems to be more of a depression poem more than anything. Now let's get into the grammar and punctuation. I didn't see or look for any grammar or punctuation errors nor do I care if there are any because I don't care if there is bad grammar or punctuation due to me not being a grammar or punctuation Nazi. Fifth if you died I bet a lot of people would be upset if you died.
This is Spartan 118 signing out and I hope you loved my super awesome amazing super awesome cool fun time review.

Hello!

First of all, the title is very nice and interesting, and made me want to read it. I think that you've got some deep thoughts here, but when I read it, I don't feel as much as I would want to. I don't feel the connection between the words and the emotions, if that makes sense. I know that you're going for a poem that can be interpreted in several different ways, but try developing the emotion a little bit more, maybe make a back story in your head that you can work from. However, I do want to mention that it is still a very interesting poem, and I like how the rhythm works and the words you've used. One last note, just make sure to check your work so that you don't have the tiny little errors. Overall, it's a nice poem, I'd say just make sure you check it over again. But remember, these are just my opinions. If I don't feel the connection, that may just because of how I'm reading it. If your poem is how you like it, that's more important.

Unfortunately quite a melancholy poem of sorts which seems to lack any real progression or depth.
Whether the narrator is depressed or simply grasping at insecurities to get some sort of recognition is unclear, which ultimately makes this poem... bad.

But that definitely doesn't mean you can't make something out of it, it has potential and you obviously have some sort of skill and experience.

good luck.

Is there a distinction between the meaning of these two phrases "If I die for you/ Or I die for you" I feel like the repetition is used a bit confusingly in this piece - but maybe I am missing something.

A few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed. The flow of the poem is steady, with no unwanted interruptions. The overall theme of your work is a tad ambiguous, and could do well with a more in depth analysis. All in all, an interesting read that I could enjoy.