z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Unfinished Songs

by Zolen


Literately what this is, a compilation of all the songs I have written part way and never finished because I am not a good enough singer to actually put the words to their intended tune.

Let it all burn

Here we go
A little harder to escape the crowds
A billion people to copy you
A million faces to get lost this time

Who needs the stars when you've got the light
Who needs the trees when you've got sky
Let it all go, burn it this time

Lets dance around, and scream at the sky
The world is ours, to screw up this time
The fire was there, but we'll let it blaze

With each new age, we'll start it again
They tried to kill it but the faces just blend
We'll start a cause to waste our whole life
let it all burn, to show off the stars

We are all here, a billion of stars
All just unique in that we are blind

Here we go
The clouds are getting a little greyer now
The sky's are turning a nice shade of brown
Lets build a bloody tower on that ground

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1En2L4afFLu

Failed attempt example

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The peoples wall

Glory to the world I've been told I'm a great addition
One loose brick, and set of sticks, I've been told its quite a sensation
One more brick for the peoples wall, a crunch on the foundations
paint that wall a pretty red and re-set the restoration

We move on to another wall,

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YiiAUB4A3I

Failed attempt example

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Cruel November

Turn a little harder
Cruel November
Fly with the seasons a little faster

Run a little harder
to escape the winter
A nightmares with you, a frozen reason

brothers of the grim
bloody little sim
snow you little wind
I-can-not take much more

Turn a little harder
Cruel November
Flocks are slipping through your fingers

Cry little children of sweat December
it's getting colder
the globe is rolling,

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1AoF14XKol4

Failed attempt example

---------------------------------------------


Tempting Little Demon Queen

And so a wonderland of glory,
what does it sound like
what does it sound like

Fire pits, a temptin' little devil
Pigs burstin' at their seams
Sweat nothings, are put in my ears by,
a temptin little demon queen

Bored by the pigs and mosquitoes
Trapped by the social cue
Lines set in the sand before I was born.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1gCs1dW5UdH

Failed attempt example

-----------------------------------

Running water

Here comes the rain
On the golden crown
tarnishing that shiney gold

Now comes the water
its flooding over
drowning the town in its shades of blue

Wow, its going faster, the dams are bursting
Dames a bursting

Here comes the rain drops
on the golden crown
The king is laying in shades of blue

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jles8kXnAW

Failed attempt example


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Random avatar

Points: 620
Reviews: 16

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Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:50 am
wretchednot wrote a review...



Hello there.
First I'd like to say I am a bit disappointed.
The lyrics are pretty good and it's a shame you didn't finish them because you couldn't put them in a good tune the songs have very great potential ro be a song.
I particularly like the 'let it burn' one and the 'tempting little demon queen'
I do hope you can finish these and write more.
Keepnon writing!
-wretchednot




Zolen says...


If I could find someone willing to sing what I think up, and do it as intended, than I would finish, but it just feels pointless when it can't be shown in its intended medium.



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24 Reviews


Points: 2993
Reviews: 24

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Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:54 am
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liesgirl wrote a review...



Very nice, especially "Let it all Burn" and "Cruel November." It may just be personal preference, but I like when there is a theme, or a line that seems to run through the whole song. Usually that's the chorus, so if any of the stanzas are meant to be repeated, you may want to mark it.

Since it's songwriting, I understand that you wouldn't use as much punctuation, but you need to make sure to capitalize the first word of every line. Also, there were a few missed apostrophes, such as in "Running Water." The line "its flooding over," should, for one be capitalized, but also, the its should be it's. The new version would be "It's flooding over."
The only spelling error I found was in the last one, "Running Water." You put "Dames a bursting." It should be "Dams a bursting."

Other than that, it was great!




Zolen says...


Thank you, for the helpful review.
Also its intended to be dames, word play.




We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
— William Shakespeare