Please remember
That I've been there
Stand beside you
While you're falling
I'll keep waiting
If you want me
Stay this way
Long as you need me
No one's perfect
If I'm honest
I'll be waiting
I'm sure you'll see
If I'm falling
Hope you'll catch me
No one's perfect
If I'm honest
Will you catch me
I'm not certain
I can not see
Not completely
Don't deserve it
You're not worthless
Will you catch me
Like I caught you
Please remember
That I've been there
No one's perfect
I am certain
Lost completely
Then I'm lonely
Found what's certain
Now I'm honest
Will you catch me
I'm still waiting
Now I'm falling
No one's perfect
No I'm speeding
Proof I now see
That I've been there
That I won't be
Someone's waiting
Probably not me
Please remember
That I was there
I was waiting
But then I changed
Probably missed you
Now I'm certain.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Great poem, a bit on the longer side, and formatted differently, but has great rhythm and almost makes me want to chant it or sing it. Captures the 'I've been there' perfectly amazing poem. Keep writing!!!
Great poem, a bit on the longer side, and formatted differently, but has great rhythm and almost makes me want to chant it or sing it. Captures the 'I've been there' perfectly amazing poem. Keep writing!!!
Hey! Tigerlilly here for a quick review!
WOW. When I first began to read this, I was uncertain because of the way it was formatted. It's different than what I usually see and I wasn't sure how good it would be. But once I started reading it, I was hooked. By the time I finished it, I realized just how much I loved the way you wrote it. It fits perfectly, and honestly, there isn't much that I would change- if anything at all.
One thing I found interesting was you had no punctuation until the end. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but I absolutely love it. It marks the end, shows the true certainty the narrator has, and all I can hear is the softness of the narrators voice transitioning into a still and ominous silence. Of course, you probably have a different image in mind but this is how I envisioned it at the end.
Truthfully, I have nothing to critique on. I wish I did, but this poem has truly stunned me. You have a gift, and if I were you I'd not let that talent go to waste. Please keep writing- I look forward to reading more of your works.
Hello! It's Sky here to review your poem. Let's jump in!
The structure of the poem is very long with all of the couplets. There is no imagery or strong metaphors. The couplets all blend into each other and are repetitive. A few couplets don't flow together very well. If you are writing couplets, try to keep them cohesive. For example, [quote] Stand beside you
While you're falling [quote] This couplet doesn't flow from the last one. They should feed off of each other in a synergistic effect. With this in mind, you could rewrite this poem to have a few couplets that really capture your message and feelings.Also, there is a lack of punctuation, so it reads very choppy. The problem in this poem is that you have so many things to say, but you don't know how to say it in exact words. This poem has good direction, you just need to find how to articulate it.
Write on!
- thecolorofthesky