Young Writers Society

Wow! This was wonderful!
Really loved the topic, a great thing to write a poem about. The imagery was amazing, this stanza

A movement shifts the darkness,
The slender red body slips forth,
Pressed against the rippling grass,
Heading towards the north.

Time seeming to slow.

Hello WrittenInStone!

Alright! To start nice piece you have here! You have some really nice, flowing line here. It's exciting! My only suggestion is use personal pronouns! I feel like the only ones you used was the beast. Try creative things! Not just It and things like that.

Green eyes keep watch,
HarbouringHarboring truths and mysteries.

A movement shifts the darkness,
The slendercomma here red body slips forth,

The dying cry released,
Carried in the mighty jaws,
Victory granted to the beast

Really well done, very detailed I like it. It's a bit overdone; many poems are done about hunting, or catching it's pray, or whatever. But I do like it. One thing- "Deep within the thicket of trees," You should change thicket to thickest. On-less thicket is one of those words that I have no idea what it means. Then keep it and whatever. Anyways, great job.
-Little LIon Woman

I really like your rhyme scheme because it sounds very natural and unstressed. Probably the only line that doesn't sound right is "time seeming to slow". Part of the issue is that the line has too many syllables in comparison to the rest of the poem's flow and detracts from its otherwise great natural rhythm.
But apart from that thing I thought that the poem was effective because of the contrast between the image of the stealthy fox at the beginning and the fox clad with 'mighty jaws' at the end. This poem reminds me a lot of old english poetry about hunting because it has an old fashioned style of rhyming.
Well done with this piece!