:] Hey there WrittenInStone,
This was a great poem! Well done! I'd just suggest you explain a bit more how the blind man
can see, I was left to wonder about this a little.
I like how you're trying to write inspirational poetry, and I think that's absolutely fantastic!
But I think there could be more in terms of 'inspiration' in this poem. Yes, the blind man has
found a way to 'see', the deaf man has found a way to 'hear' and the mute has found a way to
'speak', but these are things they would've had to learn anyway if they were ever to communicate
in life. I'd suggest that you speak of their challenges with their disabilities, and speak about
the people that doubted them, then talk about how these three men were able to rise above
all of the negativity and prove those that doubted them wrong.
- That would be much more inspirational. It would also relate to a wider group of people.
Not everyone is blind, or deaf or a mute, so I can't find this poem inspirational to me. If you
talk about how these men were able to rise above the negativity, it would contain a deeper
message that can be applied to anybody! That everyone goes through negative or down-putting
aspects in life, and anyone can rise above them.
But nevertheless, it was a great poem and you structured it incredibly well. Actually, I think
its one of the best-structured poems I've seen! I like how you went through each of the men
and the final stanza really pulled it all together. Well done!
If you have any questions or comments, please let me know!
Miyakko.
Points: 4908
Reviews: 165
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