The Magic Place (Part 1 of 2)

   It was a typical Sunday morning on the farm; the warm sun was rising and the faint singing of birds could be heard in the distance. Five o’ clock in the morning was the normal time to wake up for my brothers and me. We had to be up sharply so we could help out in the fields. We would feed the animals and clean up after the previous night before our parents awoke. Then the four of us would make tea and toast for them and they’d eat it while we did our homework for the following day. By ten, the six of us would be ready for Church. When we returned home we would eat a Sunday Roast for lunch. The rest of the day we would read, play football or help with the animals.

    On school days, we would have to wake up half an hour earlier every morning to clean the animals before school. We would be back for four in the afternoon and would have to do homework and eat dinner.

    There was never really much time to do what we wanted. The only day we could relax was on a Saturday. Saturday was nice because we would be allowed to sleep until seven and then play football or draw for most of the day. Our dinner would consist of chips and something like a burger or hot dog. I always looked forward to spending Saturday with my brothers because it was nice to do something I actually wanted to do after a hard week of school and working on the farm. Sometimes it was hard to fit in schoolwork and farm work and I would wonder why our parents would put us through the misery and difficulties of it all.

    I never really enjoyed school. I would get bullied by most of the more popular guys because I was small and scrawny. I would try to concentrate on my work instead of letting their comments hurt me. To block them out, I would sit in the school library at lunch and talk to a girl who would do her homework there all the time. I remember that we became pretty good friends and I learnt that she got quite a lot of grief from the girls in her class for having red hair. She was very pale and had very unusual green eyes. She would always wear brown eyeshadow on her eyelids and pink lipstick. She wasn’t like the other girls in our school. She wouldn’t wear her skirt as short as it would go and wouldn’t dye her hair. She wouldn’t try to make too much effort, but she didn’t need to. Her name was Rosa.

    Rosa and I always wished that we were in the same class so we wouldn’t have to be forced into groups of bullies for group work. We had asked to change classes but the teachers wouldn’t let us. They said we were fine. As if they knew anything. Rosa was the only person that made it worth waking up in the morning. I hated everyone else in school, my brothers didn’t always care for me when I moved to secondary school and our parents didn’t care how much they made us work.

    She didn’t really know much about my life at home. She knew I lived on a farm and had three brothers. She didn’t know how hard it was for me to help out because she lived in a flat so she wouldn’t have the experience. Sometimes I wanted to explain to her but then I knew it would sound like complaining and she probably wouldn’t understand it. I’d learnt to trust no one. But I wanted to trust her. I felt like I needed to trust her but it was quite hard. I never really knew what she was thinking. I never knew what she really thought of me. I thought it was awkward to ask. I had always been a nervous and unconfident person. I would wonder if it would be Rosa to fix me. I’d hoped it would be, but she couldn’t help me. And I couldn’t help her. We’d been hurt too much that we couldn’t make ourselves trust each other. So I didn’t know too much about her and she didn’t know too much about me. It was hard to feel close to her because I hardly knew any more about her than I did the first time I met her. I just found it too hard to tell her anything because I had always been on my own.

    Sometimes I would notice tears in her eyes. I had the nerve to ask her about it but she would only say that it didn’t matter. And a couple of times, I saw her crying on her own. The first time I didn’t know how to help her so I ignored her. The second time I knew how harsh I’d been to her the last time so I knew I had to comfort her. I walked over to her and didn’t know what to say to her. I’d never had to deal with anyone crying but myself. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.

Hesitantly, I said, “What’s wrong?” She sighed and opened her eyes again.

“It doesn’t matter,” she replied, shaking her head. A confidence grew inside of me and all of a sudden I felt like I needed to know.

“Of course it matters,” I told her. “Please tell me.”

“Why should I tell you? We get along, I know, but I thought it was clear that we don’t tell each other much, huh?” she said. But I couldn’t back down. And just like that, I wanted to know and wanted to tell her everything about me.

“It matters to me. I care about you,” I blurted out. She looked up at me. I hadn’t a clue why I said that. But, out of the blue, I felt like I trusted her and it was odd. It scared me, especially because I knew she couldn’t care about me. She wasn’t as pathetic and hopeless as I was.

“I can’t. I thought you couldn’t care about anyone. When did you change?” she seemed flustered.

“I’m sorry; I don’t know where that came from. If you don’t want to tell me, don’t. I understand. Ignore what I said,” I rushed my words. I felt humiliated. That’s the last time I try to comfort someone, I thought.

“It’s okay. I think I care about you as well. But I’m scared of being too close with you,” she said. She started to cry again. Tentatively, I pulled her into a hug. She rested her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair.

“Don’t worry,” I stated. I seemed to know what to do. But I was hoping I didn’t like it.

“I’m scared, Tommy,” she whispered through her tears.

“I know, so am I.” Something about her made me feel happy but I didn’t really want it to. It seemed right but I was terrified of trusting her too much.

    So I started to distance myself from her. I stopped sitting in the library. I put up with being on my own again. I focused on helping at the farm. It wasn’t fun, but was so much better than trusting someone. But eventually, I began to miss speaking to her. I felt lonelier than ever. But I knew that I couldn’t talk to her. I couldn’t start to give myself away to anyone. And she felt the same. I was scared of feeling like I could trust her and care for her because she might be like the others. I was scared I’d just tell her everything and she’d betray me. I was scared she would tell everyone else about me so she could finally be popular. And I was scared of feeling happy.

    I was going to run away. From her, from everything. But I couldn’t make myself do it. I remember receiving a text from Rosa which told me to meet her in the park. In a way, I wanted to but I also didn’t want to get close to her. I sent her one back to tell her I would. I couldn’t resist the need to talk to her again. It was that day when everything changed. I used my Saturday time to see her. It had been four months since I’d talked to her.

    I would hate how I would only think of her. Nothing else really crossed my mind. I couldn’t say I’d fancied her but I just wondered if she was coping without me. My home life was pretty boring. Just stuck with the simple routine. My brothers would put up with me but I could tell they didn’t really want me there. I was fourteen and two of them were seventeen, one sixteen and one eighteen. They were so similar in age and I would always feel isolated from the family. It didn’t seem to make much difference when we were younger, but then it all changed when they turned into teenagers. I couldn’t call my parents family. My brothers and I were basically their servants. They wouldn’t work. It was as if the farm was ours instead of theirs. They were the sort of people who would go into work and sit on their backsides all day playing on the computer but would still get paid for it. I’d sometimes wish for a younger brother or sister but I soon realised that it was a bit late for one. They would be fourteen years younger than me and it wasn’t as if I could play sport with them when they were that young.

    I hated our house. It wasn’t home. It was just somewhere to live. I sometimes fantasized about living in a flat like Rosa’s. I wouldn’t have had to help out as much. The chores would be different. No farm to work on. Only dishes to wash and rooms to tidy. That seemed like a much easier job. But even though I hated the farm, I loved most of the animals. There were always a couple who would get on my nerves. It was almost as if I could tell that there were some that hated me as much as everyone else did. The pigs were interesting animals. I found it ironic how they were the only species in the world who actually liked me. They were the only things, besides Rosa, who wouldn’t look at me as if I’d murdered someone. They didn’t seem disgusted by me. But, then again, they couldn’t really be disgusted by me considering they were the ones who would roll around in dirt. When my brothers weren’t around, I’d talk to the pigs. They seemed to be the only ones who would listen. Not that I expected them to speak back to me but I decided they were better than no one. I would ask them why everyone hated me. Obviously, they gave me no answers but I liked to believe they thought about it too; they just didn’t have an answer for me.

    I never thought there was anything wrong with me. Sure I wasn’t the best-looking. I was freakishly thin and small in height, my hair was dirty blonde which didn’t always look too good when I ran out of time (or water) to wash it, and my eyes were grey. I didn’t like how I looked but I put up with myself. Besides from that, I didn’t think I was too annoying. Perhaps my farmers’ accent got on the posh students’ nerves but not everyone in our school was rich. I was never mean to anyone and always avoided making enemies. I couldn’t figure out why no one liked me. Maybe I was a little quiet, but there was bound to be someone out there who would like me. I thought wrong. There was only Rosa but she couldn’t open herself up to me and didn’t trust me with anything. I sometimes thought that she only put up with me because she needed someone to eat lunch with. But if that was the case, she had a good way of hiding it.

    Rosa and I shared the same sort of interests. She loved fantasy books and so did I. Not vampires and fairies. But goblins and strange lands which we’d wish existed. We preferred the dark side of magic. Like when you would read about weird trolls who would carry axes around with them and sit under trees, waiting for the perfect person to pounce upon. We would talk about books we’d read and look at the fantasy section in the library. We’d eat our sandwiches as she rambled on about some ‘fantastical’ book she had been reading lately. I’d love to listen to her get so animated because it was nice to see her forget about everything she struggled through. As for music, we couldn’t get hold of many CDs. Everyone would download songs onto their mobiles but my phone wasn’t advanced enough for that. It could send texts and make calls and that was all my parents could be bothered to pay for. I only had a tenner of credit for the whole year but it was fine because I’d never really needed to text anyone anyway. If I could ever afford to buy a CD it would always be rock that I’d listen to. She told me that she would like rock as well when her parents would let her buy it. But really, music wasn’t ever a big thing for us as we preferred stories instead.

    I strolled down to the park to meet Rosa there. The sky was clear and hardly any clouds could be seen. I admit that I’d been quite nervous to see her after all this time. I was excited in a way so that I could finally talk to her again. I’d never really thought of how much we’d talked before then. But thinking back, there had been a lot of time in lunch and break to waste. The lonely lunch hours were more difficult when I’d been avoiding her. I would eat as far away from her as possible to spare the temptation of sitting near her again. It also gave me a lot of time to think and I wonder if that’s the reason why I was so eager to see her again.

    When I reached the park, I sat on the bench and waited for her. I pondered why she finally wanted to see me. But it wasn’t long before she showed up and I couldn’t help but smile when she walked over. Her hair glistened in the sunlight and her eyes lit up as she saw me.

“Hey,” she greeted me. She sat on the bench next to me.

“Hi, why did you want to talk to me at last?” I asked. I felt strangely nervous and I didn’t like that.

“I just thought it was a shame that we managed to ruin our friendship,” she replied. Her eyes caught mine for a second but I instantly looked away.

“Yeah I guess. Um, so what’s been happening in your life lately?” I rushed my words because I’d panicked again.

“Not much, feeling bored and lonely staring at the books in the library. Seemed different when I was alone. No one to talk to about the different stuff I’d read.” I started to be scared again and I wanted to exit. I just always found a way to panic when something good happened to me. I had always been used to losing everything that could actually make me smile. And at that moment, I was far from ready to lose Rosa again.

“It has been weird not talking to anyone anymore.”

“I can tell you’re still scared of being friends with me.” I looked down as she said it but she lifted my chin a little, “I’m scared too but I can’t help but like you anyway.”

“I don’t like that I want to be friends with you. It scares the life out of me to think I might actually be trying to get friends again,” I told her. I’d never said my thoughts out loud to anyone.

     Suddenly, the Earth seemed to quake and there was a giant rumble. I grabbed Rosa’s hand because I instantly felt like I needed to protect her from whatever had happened. She moved closer to me and we closed our eyes in fear. Then we had magically been transported to the start of a forest. She was still gripping my arm and I noticed the fear in her eyes. I looked down to her and felt sorry for her. She seemed pretty shaken by the random earthquake. But then I realised that we weren’t meant to be in a forest...

“Come on, let’s get walking and I’m sure we’ll find a way out,” I reassured her. But then I selfishly thought about how I might have to spend a while with her if it had taken a long time to discover how to get home. I took her hand and walked silently with her through the forest. The ground was literally covered in leaves and the trees blocked out that beautiful sun we’d had before. It looked like a regular forest at first. I was just a bit unsure about how we’d got there. I wonder now if it’s the Gods’ way of telling us to talk. Eventually, Rosa noticed light. She smiled at me and ran forward a little. I followed her quickly and we reached a turning point. She pointed to a sign which had been hammered into the tree in the middle of the junction. It said,

ONE OF THESE PATHS WILL LEAD TO HAPPINESS, HOWEVER THE OTHER WILL LEAD TO THE OPPOSITE...

We sat on tree stumps pondering over which path to take for a couple hours. One had a very strong light coming from it and the other was a little darker. They both looked the same as far as we could see but each path turned rather abruptly soon after walking down it. At first we decided the light was just the trees opening up a little but it seemed too strong to be that so we finally chose to take that path. We thought that we could turn back if it wasn’t the right path. I held her hand again and we walked down the path on the right. All of a sudden, the entrance behind us closed up. Branches cover it and the light disappeared. My shoulders sunk as I knew we’d taken the wrong path.

“We’ve taken the wrong path, haven’t we?” she asked. Her voice was panicky and I was scared for her. I was scared the path could somehow kill her.

“I think we might have done... But don’t worry about it. We... We’ll be fine. I’m sure of it,” I tried to reassure her that no harm could come to her. But I wasn’t sure. I had no clue where we were, how we got there, why we were there, and, most importantly, if we would get hurt. I tucked a piece of her beautiful red hair behind her ear and said, “No harm will come to us, I know it.”

“If you’re sure, I’ll believe you,” she told me. We continued walking and it seemed like nothing was changing in the atmosphere and landscape.

    I always wondered what happened with Rosa. I wondered why she was so down all the time. I knew she got bullied, but I didn’t know half of it. I knew how difficult it was to deal with them. But I had a feeling she had it worse than I did. When people would say things to me, I’d want the ground to swallow me up. I’d feel worthless and felt like no one cared. The truth was that they actually didn’t care at all. I’d cry myself to sleep a lot of the time. I couldn’t always handle it. I’d skip lessons just so I wouldn’t have to get picked on. It was wrong, really. I shouldn’t have let them get in the way of my work. But if I felt like that, I wondered how she’d feel when they’d pick on her. She seemed to get it worse than I ever had, and I wasn’t a particularly weak person. Towards the end, I’d gained pretty thick skin. No matter what people would say to me, it couldn’t penetrate my little bubble. But that was only when I’d got older. At first, it was totally impossible to cope. But even so, I worried about Rosa. I worried about how she would cope with their hurtful comments. She was different to how I was. I could tell it hurt her. She couldn’t ignore them. When she cried, I knew it was them. I just wanted to know more. I wanted to help her. I was probably the only person who would understand.

     As we walked, I saw pain in her eyes. I guessed she was still hurt from the idiots in school, but I also guessed that she was terrified of where we were heading. I put my arm around her. I couldn’t bear to see her like that. She looked at me but I just smiled. We walked further and suddenly the whole forest seemed to change. The trees around us looked as if they were dying. The ground was covered in debris. There were giant rocks around us and a massive lake. The sky was grey and dank. The whole atmosphere had changed; it was murky and desolate. The unclear howling of wolves could be heard in the distance. The clouds hung low giving the forest a musky feel. I felt as if Rosa and I were blanketed by the eerie clouds. I sighed and we walked closer to the lake. It seemed to be covered by a hazy film. It was hard to see Rosa in the dim light. A gust of icy wind blew, piercing our skin with its chilling power. The lighting was very peculiar, creepy almost. I sat on a rock and she had to sit next to me. She was frozen. I could see the goose bumps on her bare arms. As cheesy and probably pathetic as I knew it was, I gave her my jacket; I hated to see her cold.

    The night grew old and we decided we would have to sleep. At first, she was really frightened to sleep in this forest. I managed to convince her to sleep, telling her I’d keep her safe. The only place to sleep was on the rocks which were really uncomfortable. I took my jumper off, even though it made me really cold, and used it as a pillow. Rosa used the sleeve of my jacket to sleep on. I felt sorry for her. I felt like it was my fault that we were stuck in that mess. I hated that she was in so much pain. And the thought that it could have been because of me was unbearable.

     I didn’t sleep much that night. It was so uncomfortable to lie on a rock. And to think, this time the night before I was sleeping in my own bed, terrified of being friends with Rosa and all of a sudden I was sleeping on some random rock in a desolate forest with Rosa less than two metres away from me. I wondered what my family thought of me being gone. I wondered if they actually cared. I was sure they wouldn’t notice me not being there. But if they did, they’d only be frustrated that there were two less hands cleaning the farm. It’s not as if my parents actually loved me. And my brothers were like a gang and I was always the one trying to join in. They thought I was really annoying.

    I must have only had an hour of sleep, if that. Poor Rosa seemed tired, bless her, so she slept like a log for most of the night. But she hadn’t talked to me much in the day. I was planning that I might have been able to figure out what was up. I just really wanted to help her.

    In the morning, she woke up as soon as the sun rose. I was still exhausted. The forest wasn’t quite as dark in the morning but still had a grey and gloomy feel to it. It wasn’t a particularly glorious place. I pulled my jumper back on and Rosa put my jacket on. We decided to proceed with our journey. But, as we walked further, we came across a blockage in the path. So when we tried to turn back, it was blocked there too. We were stuck in the more open area which we’d slept in with the rocks, dead trees and large lake.

“Oh. Looks like we’re stuck here for a while...” I said. That was the first time either of us had spoken that morning.

“When will we get out of here?” she moaned at me. I had no idea.

“Hopefully soon. But I honestly don’t know. Do you think we should try the lake water?” I inquired.

“I think we will have to eat or drink something. So we better give it a try,” she replied.

We wandered over to the lake where there was another sign:

Don’t be expecting to get out yet. From the first morning you woke up here, you will be living in this clearing for five days. Then the blockage will be removed.

I sighed. I would have five days to keep her as safe as I could. I wondered where we would get food. It seemed like we would have to kill animals (if there were any here) to eat. I wasn’t happy with that idea. And I knew for a fact Rosa wouldn’t be. I asked for my jacket and she reluctantly gave it to me. I searched through all the pockets for anything that could work to scoop up water. For some odd reason, I found a plastic spoon.

“Do you have anything to scoop up water?” I asked, hopefully.

“No, do you?”

“Only a plastic spoon.” I just looked at her with a doubtful look.

“Well I guess that will have to do for the both of us,” she sighed.

The spoon looked pathetic compared to the body of water in front of us. I lowered the spoon into the water and pulled it out. Luckily, it didn’t look too dirty. I looked at Rosa again and brought the spoon to her lips. She drank it and smiled.

“Why give it to me first?” she inquired with a smile.

“I guess you’re more important than I am,” I replied and gave her another spoonful of water.

After a couple more spoons of water, I decided to quench my own thirst and took a couple sips myself.

    Later on in the morning, we decided we’d need to eat. I didn’t really want to break it to her that there I had no food except a couple days old chocolate brownie which seemed to have stuck to anything else which had been in the pocket with it... Gross. I was unsure about killing animals, plus I didn’t know how I was going to do it anyway without any weapons. We sat on the rocks again and I noticed food under the tree. I got up and walked over. There was a sheet of paper next to it:

Today’s allowance

There was a little bit of bread, some fruit, and a small amount of cooked chicken. There was a plastic cup of water from the lake and that was all we had between us for the whole day. No one should ever ask why we were in such a dark, strange forest with a blockage at the exit and some evil spirit telling us how much we could eat for the day, but hey ho, better get on with it. I handed her some fruit and we ate that. It was nowhere near satisfying but it was what we had. And it was better than having to shoot deer or whatever frolic around in these parts of the woods. I gave her the cup of water so she could drink a little. I took some water from the lake because I wanted her to feel happier. I didn’t care what happened to me as long as she was safe. She’d been going through Hell so I needed to make her feel like there was someone caring about her. It sounds weird, thinking back to the fact that I didn’t really know much about her or what had happened to her. But I could tell it was killing her inside. In the afternoon, we sat and talked. I didn’t care anymore about my trust issues. I knew she was different. I knew I could trust her. She wouldn’t be like everyone else. She went through the same Hell as I had so she couldn’t be like them.

    “I was wondering,” I began.

“About what?” she interrupted me.

“Well I was wondering about what’s happened. I mean, I was just wondering about what’s happened with the bullying stuff because I know that you had problems telling me before. But I’m just thinking, since we’re stuck here together that we should be a bit honest with each other,” I tried to say. But for some reason, it came out a lot different to how it should have done.

“Oh. I guess since we have to stay here, and because you’ve been so nice to me, maybe we should be a bit open with each other. So would you like to start?” she grinned as she said it which lit up my entire day.

“Well, where would you like me to start?” I asked.

“At the beginning.”

“Okay. So when I was in primary school, I had a best friend. We weren’t popular or anything but it was a friend and that’s all that mattered. When we left for high school, he moved to live in Barbados. And then I started in our school. It’s a little further away from where I live compared to my primary so I already got picked on for my accent. Plus I’m small and bony. It would just be little comments that would hurt. But they would come from everyone. It started on the day I began school. It hasn’t stopped but I learnt to ignore them. Nothing they say affects me much now. It’s more of my home life that gets me down,” I explained.

“That’s awful. Do you mind me asking about your home?” Her hand touched my arm as she spoke, but I guessed that was only because she wanted to know.

“I live on a farm, obviously. But my brothers and I are forced to help out all the time. We don’t get paid pocket money or anything like that for it. I’m convinced our parents don’t really care for us and I’m pretty sure that we were only born to do the farm work so they wouldn’t have to do anything. I have three brothers. They’re all a few years older than me. They don’t really care about me either. They’re just like a gang; sticking together but refusing to let anyone else in. I don’t really like my home because we don’t ever get much time off from helping the animals...” I trailed off.

“Oh. I’m so sorry that things don’t work out for you. I’m not really sure what to say. But I’m sure it will sort itself out. You should look forward to when you move out,” she tried her best to assure me that I would be fine. But we both knew that she was unsure as well. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled. “It will be fine for you, honestly.”

“Thanks for trusting me at last,” I said with a smile.

“It’s fine. You seem different. You aren’t like the others. I do trust you,” she told me. She seemed quite confused.

“I do care about your feelings. You always seem so upset in school. And I wonder what they’re saying to you.” She lowered her head and I took her hand again, “I want to help you.”

“I’m ashamed of what they say to me. I feel weak. I hate it,” she started.

“It’s okay. I only want to help. I get picked on as well so we’re both in the same boat. There is no way that what they say makes you worse as a person. I just see the pain in your eyes and I hate to see you like that,” I said.

“I’ll start from the beginning. I always had ginger hair. My parents hated it. I could tell they didn’t like it. Dad had light brown hair and Mum was blonde. So I guess that’s how I got ginger. They always try to get me to dye it but I always refuse. I see the way they look at me. I don’t know why they can’t accept my hair colour. It’s ridiculous. They don’t really talk to me much. I guess I just wasn’t the gorgeous little blonde girl who would play with Barbie dolls that they’d wanted. As for in school, I’d always been bullied because of my hair colour. Since I started juniors in primary, the children seemed to be getting harsher. At first, I was known as the ginger ninja. But in the last year of primary school, my nickname changed to much ruder words. High school is worse. I just walk past someone in our year and they swear at me. I don’t understand because I was never mean to them but they seem to walk in packs. Whenever I go past one, I get bombarded with insults.” A tear fell from her eye. “And I can’t just ignore it like you can though. I just feel worthless. And then I met you and I thought you would be some strange spy from them trying to figure out how I felt. I was scared of liking you in case you were actually against me. But you seemed so nice and I just couldn’t help but like you. And then you panicked and avoided me. I felt so alone without anyone there for me. I missed talking to you. But at night I’d cry myself to sleep. Everything they said to me hurt me so much,” she described. I felt so bad for her. I got her to stand up and I wrapped my arms around her.

“I’m here for you now. They don’t matter. Whatever they say to you isn’t true. You’re beautiful and fabulous. They’re only jealous that you are gorgeous and they aren’t. They’re ordinary and you’re unique,” I comforted her. I stroked her hair as she cried. Her hair was in stunning ringlets and was tied back a little. I hugged her for a while. She stopped crying and apologised for being so pathetic. I told her not to put herself down all the time.

    For dinner, we ate the chicken and bread. The chicken was obviously cold but it was better than nothing. It was nowhere near satisfying. As for the cup of water, I gave all the rest to her again. I left her to it as I used my spoon to get some water from the lake. After I had drunk about a cup, I shouted for Rosa. I fed her some more water on the spoon. I didn’t want her to get dehydrated. I wanted to protect her and put her before me. It was getting difficult but I tried to give her hope because I was scared she was giving up on her life.