A/N: Hey! It's been long since I posted! I've been doing a lot of free writing (which I might post as well) But here's a poem I wrote a few months ago. Backstory! I actually got inspired to write this when I wasn't able to sleep since watching The Grudge 2... Hope you enjoy!
My courage runs away from me.
I try desperately to run after it,
But it runs through my hands
Like the crimson blood that's within me.
I heave and I pant as my courage taunts me,
But I know it's long gone.
I try to cover up the sweat on my brow
for I know you can smell it.
The scent of one's sweat is cologne to you.
You breathe in it.
You consume it
You thrive off it.
You soon find me cowering in the corner of my mind.
Your slender fingers wrap around my wrists,
Restricting me like a straight jacket.
Locking me in a cage that no one else can see,
Making me question my very own sanity.
Your screeching voice rattles my mind,
Enveloping me in your thoughts.
But no one can hear,
For their minds are loud too.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Hi,
I enjoyed this poem a lot. I love the personification of Fear and Courage, you bring the emotions to life in a vivid and interesting way. I really liked the line, 'your slender fingers wrap around my wrists'. I think there is something grotesque in the image, and it brought a smirk to my face.
Personally, I found that the structure of the poem was a little broken, a bit too stop start. For example, take the third stanza. The first two lines seem deliberately slow and to be savoured, which comes from them both ending with a full stop (period). However, the third line then has no punctuation, and so the last two lines seem rushed.
Apart from that, I thought this was a good, creative poem. I guess that's all. Keep on writing!
AsYetUntitled
Hi,
I enjoyed this poem a lot. I love the personification of Fear and Courage, you bring the emotions to life in a vivid and interesting way. I really liked the line, 'your slender fingers wrap around my wrists'. I think there is something grotesque in the image, and it brought a smirk to my face.
Personally, I found that the structure of the poem was a little broken, a bit too stop start. For example, take the third stanza. The first two lines seem deliberately slow and to be savoured, which comes from them both ending with a full stop (period). However, the third line then has no punctuation, and so the last two lines seem rushed.
Apart from that, I thought this was a good, creative poem. I guess that's all. Keep on writing!
AsYetUntitled
Thanks for the review! Like I said to Memo, this wasn't really a poem that I took the time to edit but I just wanted to get it out there- if that made sense
its sort of like a freewrite where I just metaphorically vomit on the page. But I'll try to find some time to edit this thanks for pointing out the punctuation by the way! It really helps 
Hi,
We meet again, aye?
Good to see you around posting some new poem! My first impression towards this poem is...interesting perception of fear. Yeah, interesting.
And your A/N never fails me.
...I'm serious...
*Revved up for the review*
The title don't provoke me in. Yes, I'm serious. Not to be sarcastic, and it's too common and not vivid enough to somehow relate to your poem. Try to be more realistic. Of course, some poets don't care for what their poem title is. I appreciate it, and hope you'd find something that don't make people's thought running astray. Fear is common, so is love.
To be precise, the title's boring.
Rather, don't ever start to write a poem only by its title. Of course, I don't precisely know what driven you to write this poem, but I just can feel that you're started this poem with the title. Figure out the title at the last process of your poem. That way, you'll find a more interesting title to choose.
Fear as the title is a type of a bad ambiguity.
*The review officially starts...now!*
I like how you used crimson blood, and I think this line is strong enough to be alone, but to with another is confusing.
How does courage that runs through your hands related with that the red blood that's within you? If I were to understand this, I think it sounds too forced. I respect it, but be calmed. The Grudge 2 is...well...indeed a fearful one, but try to revise it.
Try an experiment: After you wrote something, let go of it like one week or anything like that, and try to read it carefully. Your feeling changes. If you firstly wrote this in a fearful condition, try to rewrite this in happy condition. You will notice something you couldn't earlier. It works greatly!
***
Awkward...
I don't know why that word popped up. I just feel awkward with this poem. Preferably, I think you're not using much of a firm thing here. Almost everything is awkward: filled with confusion.
It is better lying than spreading confusion.
What caused this, you asked...
This is because forcing... and that's not a good thing to do. I love the usage of the straight jacket as a cage, but it makes another things without you noticing.
I also noticed that every verbs like screeching or enveloping or breathe or consume or thrive and so forth are quite abstract. I appreciate that you're using enveloping than folding but, simpleness is better.
And regarding to the abstract thing, your verbs need some ad-verb. Not the -ly things....but the thing to support the verbs...to make it bolder thus firmer.
Using long lines to provide description are well-respected to me because you try to avoid confusion.
At all cost, avoid confusion or what I called earlier: bad ambiguity.
*Slowing down the review*
You're lucky! I don't review much lately, but I'll take the inspirations I got from doing this review for you to review others'.
This is rather enjoyable, and raw...
Okay, keep writing!
~Memo
P/s:
What are you trying to say. I can't interpret it...
Thank you so much for this review! Yeah, this poem is just one that I wrote when I was trying to get rid of the thoughts in my head so yeah, it was kinda all over the place
I didn't really take the time to reorganize and reread it but I'll try to take the time and edit this. And as to the title, it was just the first title I could think of- which was pretty general. Oh and the last stanza is trying to show that fear is screaming in my mind but no one can hear because fear is in their mind too. Kinda showing how everyone has fear. Thank you for the review and I'll be sure to edit this as best fits! 
No problem!