Young Writers Society

Hey, TheUnknownWriter! ScytheMeister here for a quick review

This was beautiful, so romantic and passionate. I loved it! The way you tied in flowers and nature was mesmerising and I thought you did a great job of portraying it, it was well-written and shown perfectly to the reader.

I would suggest minor changes to the structure:

Let's make a garden
In our dreams,
That will last forever.

Until the vines
From our chests
Intertwine,
With the same soil.

These thoughts of you
Are gently kissed
Onto my forehead
And my heart starts
To Blossom.

With every kiss
You plant in my mind,
These walls around me
Crumble into rose petals.

These layers fall
Until I am left
Without the thorns.

Unguarded,
In your warm blooming chest
And sunshine eyes.

Yet, You still wonder
Why I always smell like flowers.

Hi. This is Kman134. I'm here to review your work.

The story was very romantic and imaginative. the symbolisms and metaphors were well-constructed. the emotional feel made me feel like i was teleported to an otherworldly realm of beauty and wonder.

"Let's make a garden in

Our dreams that will last forever.

Until the vines from our chests

Intertwine with the same soil."

the use of nature and psychedelic tones in the beginning made me feel like i was in a dream. the simile within it was like staring at a baroque artwork. the eternity of dreams and the absence of time was ingenious for a prologue in this poem.

"And with every kiss

You plant in my mind,

The walls around me

Crumble into rose petals."

The romantic tone within this stanza was pretty innovating, symbolizing your love like the fall of petals, which also shows how much your love had bloomed and lasted for so long.

anyway, this was pretty good and i hope you keep writing more.

hello, Ace101 here to write a hopefully helpful review!
So first I shale start with the bad parts, so here it goes.
I am sorry to say this but...
You did nothing wrong! I loved it! you are great at poetry!
I loved the words, like this is really REALLY good, I can tell that you put a lot of work and thought into this work and it really paid off!
I have never bin able to write anything even close to how good ONE sentence is.
That is how amazing this is, amazing work and I would love to read more of your work!



Ace101 out!

Hello, I'm here to review your poem!

This is a really nice piece of poetry. I love the imagery and feeling of a garden you create around the stanzas. The narrator is probably a rose, hard to access but when you break through you see a lot of beauty.

Your concept and theme is executed well, but sometimes the flow is so-so. For example,

Let's make a garden in our

Dreams that will last forever.

Gently kissed onto my

Forehead and my heart

Unguarded in your warm

Blooming chest and sunshine eyes.