The War of the Worlds, Cards, and Legos [Ch. VIII, Nine]

Alrighty.
New day new Nine =D

I really appreciate Six describing the room. I can overlook that it doesn’t really sound like her voice because I’m just so happy we’re getting any descriptions at all!

Hmm can Two cause calmness in others?

And after the third time, Six asking abt words has run out its welcome. Moderation is key, Rebel =D

Sounds like Love is the ultimate counter to death =D

I imagined the card to be vapourised and my spine to be healed by instinct, and so it did.

Wait, she can heal herself that easily?

Unrelated, I am getting strong HPMOR vibes again with Six being Harry’s Hermione. Only that Zero rightfully realized that threatening Six will be a very bad idea for Nine’s mental state.

Hm I also wonder if having a fraction of Zero’s power actually means that you have eventually ALL of Zero’s power. As he explained, his power is infinite and if you split up infinity, you still have infinity.

I find it a bit hypocritical of Zero to tell Six to get up and act now when we are doing with a time loop and he just sprang a lot of difficult stuff at her.

Still not sure why the lego robot deals with cards.

Ah well at least someone kind is trying to teach Six abt field signatures now. Improvement already!

I never thought that I would say this but, thanks for saving me there, Zero.
‘Hehe, you’re welcome.’

Awwww

Er spricht mir aus der Seele! „‘My dear reader, I am not about to undergo a redemption arc, so tu can keep hating me if you want to.’” Good on you, Zero!

Yep you do much better for me if your characters aren’t constantly trying to outdo each other or being funny. Six having a breakdown is well-written.

I feel like giving Six more time to overthink things might be counter-productive. She seems like the kinda gal who excels under pressure and fails anywhere else…. But I’ll see what she learns in the Sherlock Dimension.

Hey there Rebel! I'm currently working through some of the less loved works in the Green Room so I thought I would stop by here for a review! I'm not up to date with the progress of the story, but hopefully I can still be of some help.

First off, I love how unique the narrative voice is. You're continually pushing the fourth wall but in a way that feels genuine, and helps me as the reader to foster a connection with the main character even though I'm jumping in at a later chapter rather than starting from the beginning. It can feel a little overwhelming after reading a large chunk though, so I could envisage this as the type of book that I would take breaks from whilst reading it.

I find it interesting that you use such a different convention when it comes to speech, it certainly makes it easier to keep track of who is talking and when, but I feel like we're missing some characterisation of the secondary characters because of it. Perhaps experiment with ways to add that back in if not describing the way in which they speak.

Some of the description in here was unexpectedly beautiful, in the midst of all the humour and chaos. I'm going to find my favourite part and pop it in here:

Where there was a sky before, is now a giant, shaking acrylic pink block that covers the entire sky. All I could see of the block was a straight line that covered half of the horizon, a dark shadow below it and a weirdly slanted protrusion out of the main body - like someone had zoomed into the upper-left corner of a Lego brick a thousand times.

I like how you've maintained the tone but still managed to shoehorn in some description!

There was a lot to this, but the humour and short sentences made it easy to read through it quite quickly. I do think the tone makes it harder for me to care too deeply about any of the characters, but I'm not sure that's too much of a problem.

Thanks for sharing, and I hope this was helpful!

Icy

Hi there Jit!!! So nice to see you posting a little bit again. How are you? Is your headache any better? If it's not I hope you can get better soon! <333

{Okay this is Future Orabella to come and tell you that WHAT THE HECK I JUST READ THE WHOLE THING THIS IS AWESOME YOU LITERALLY MADE ME CRY - MORE ON THAT LATER
The rest of the review is me slowly getting through this chapter, and though I typically read it all the way through and then start the review, I didn't think I'd have time (School! Yayyy...) so all of this is (almost) pure reactions as I'm going along. (I do usually read sections of text twice, though, so it's almost like I read it twice)
But. Friend. Thank you for this. Thank you for your patience and your amazing story and your kindness. It sheds a light in my world.

Anyway, onto the review!}

It’s raining kittens and puppies! Wait, no - that’s not the correct euphemism - Wait, no - that’s not even the correct word!

*Swoop* “It’s ‘raining cats and dogs’ and ‘idiom’, Sexta.” *Swoop*

Go screw yourself, you jerk!

Anyway, it’s raining a lot for some reason. And weather patterns across the world have been weird since yesterday - I don’t know the details, I am not a meteorologist (I got that word right! Yay!) - but it’s something like a record-breaking extremely low pressure - 150 millibars or something - that’s completely messing up the jet streams and uh… weather-y stuff. I dunno, I am not a meteo - meteoloro - no, wait, what was it again? Let me check the diary. Ah! I am not a meteorologist!

...what's kind of funny is that I was going to try to correct euphemism because I looked it up and was like, "wait, that's not supposed to be there" and was about to make a note of it before I read the very next line. I guess Six is saying screw me, too XD
About the spelling of meteorologist... that's really funny. It looks like such a jumble of words when you look at it I was honestly scared to write it.
But also what's up with the weather? Sounds suspicious... and dangerous... I know I know, I just have to read on!
WHOA I just look up pressure information and HOLY COW everyone is dead. For humans it needs to be 475 millibars of atmospheric pressure - at least! And at sea level on earth it's usually over a 1000. I wonder if that's a Six (or writer) error or if like literally all life is dead right now. It'd be funny if Six got the numbers way off, which is possible, but wow that's a lot to be off by.

So, anyway, Mr. Holmes told me that it’s a side effect of the whole large-flashy-beam-thingy that filled up the sky yesterday but also told me that it’s gonna be alright in the end. He also briefed the League of Life about their weird meeting with that bastard Zero in the League of Life HQ (it didn’t take much time to renovate it), here’s how it went, or at least, how it was supposed to be:-

The top thirteen members of Halcyon also known as the 3L-Threes - the multiversal threat-dealing gang or whatever they call themselves - Agents Two to Nine, representative of every galaxy in the Laniakea Supercluster, several guest representatives of neighbouring galaxies who’ve rushed to Earth after noticing the battle happening in their cosmic backyard, and several media reporters from across the universe [Note to self: ask Nine if the prepositions “from” and “across” can be used like that later] have all gathered in the League of Life HQ.

The congregation was seated in a slanted L-formation (in commemoration of Leonardo da Vinci) facing the Nine Agents seated in the middle on one side of a long table. On the other side of the long table, seated were the 3L-Threes of Halcyon. Then, standing up and facing the gathered representatives of the universe and beyond, Secretary Eight started to speak.

Hmm. Eight as a secretary. Who would've guessed? I also think it's funny that Holmes said it was just a side effect of everything that just went down (and also how casually Six mentioned it)
I also love the addition of things like "note to self"; it reminds the reader that this is Six (kind of) writing in her diary, which is both a good thing to remember but also keeps it interesting and not just any old novel with a character telling the story for the sake of telling the story.

EIGHT: First and foremost, on behalf of the Ten Agents of Earth and the League of Life, I would like to greet the Halcyon Council and welcome everyone once again to the 69th Universal Conference of the League of Life, earlier adjourned due to unavoidable circumstances. I am Agent Eight, Secretary of the Agents, currently speaking on behalf of Vice President of the League of Life, Agent Two.

TWO: Io am sorry, I am not really good at speeches.

A faint ambience of eerie calm spread across the hall as Two chuckled in self-embarrassment.

EIGHT: As our first order of business, we have to deal with a threat that wishes to eliminate our known nature of existence - within an hour.

And all that calmness was thrown out of the window after this statement. [Note to self: Ask Nine about the word for “throwing someone out the window”, for some reason, I can’t remember it.]

GREY SLIME: Andromeda wasn’t informed of this!

FROCOCK: Yeah!

HALITA: Nor was the Large Magellanic Cloud!

FROCOCK: Yeah!

PELICAN: Pelicans of the Pelican Nebula are deeply dissatisfied that such information was not revealed to them beforehand.

FROCOCK: Yeah!

And the commotion among the representatives of the Laniakea Supercluster went on for a hot minute before Eight once again stood up.

EIGHT: Now, we have 58 minutes before the end of our existence. Now, would you all please listen to our plan, honourable representatives?

The commotion corroded to silence. Everyone, except Frocock, quietly sat down on their seats.

FROCOCK: Yeah! Yeah! Wait… Why did everyone go silent…?

SEVEN: Because not everyone is as stupid as that maid in the Gal Galaxy Bar who fell for you.

FROCOCK: ‘The hell do you mean…?

EIGHT: Silence, please.

Silence.

Once again I must praise your amazing ability to distinguish characters so well and so easily. Six's inner dialogue is much different than other people speaking, and the different people have their own ways as well. Eight is calm and collected, Two is kind and a little shy it seems? Their roles fit them perfectly, honestly. I assume Zero is President? (apologies if this has already been mentioned, my memory is horrid)
I love Frocock so much here he's so funny. (I actually wrote a character exactly like him once... a very long time ago...)
Also Eight's calm and clarity as he announces so simply that everything in the entire existence of everything is going to be eliminated. And then the others complaining about how they weren't informed about it in the most ridiculous way, like, yes, Eight, we do need to listen to the plan otherwise you are all going to die in 58 minutes. Wonder what's going to happen in that time? Hm...
Also, I love the description of calmness near the beginning of this section only for it to be wiped out by Eight's announcement. It was really effective at giving that sense of calm for it to then ultimately be converted into dread.

EIGHT: Now, Mr Holmes would like to say a few words regarding our plans to handle the galaxy-sized monsters from other dimensions.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Firstly, let me request all of the honourable representatives if I can use the Field to slow down time that would allow us more time to strategise. I understand that the previous time I used it, it caused many of you some discomfort-

I coughed.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Thus, I’d like to beseech your permission-

FROCOCK: Just go ahead with it, damnit! We already don’t have much time. I don’t give a damn what these old geezers think, but just go ahead and slow down time. I don’t want to die so quick after last night-

Eight coughed.

GREY SLIME: Andromeda has no problem with it, Mr. Holmes.

PELICAN: Same for the Pelican Nebula.

HALITA: Aye, same here.

Soon, sounds of aye resounded all across the hall. Although there was reluctance in some voices, those old farts were more concerned about their lives than their dignity. ‘Guess that’s what happens after decades of obedience to that jerk.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Thank you for the permission, honourable members of the League of Life.

After saying that, Sherlock snapped his fingers. A green, spherical field emanated from his fingers and enveloped the entire League of Life HQ.[Note to self: Ask Nine later if “emanate” is a word or not, and if it can be used in this context]

SHERLOCK HOLMES: From now, every second in this hall is equivalent to a Planck unit of time outside. [Note to self: Ask Nine what the hell is a Planck unit? The answers provided by the internet are too complicated for me to understand]

*PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING*...

A few gasps ring around the room as some members take out their watches while pings rang across the parliament. I took out my own inter-mob to check out the constant pings in my ears.

*Your device is not synchronized with the intergalactic time frame, please synchronize to access the internet. Think “Ignore” to ignore this message.*

Ignore.

Damn, Mr. Holmes’ powers are real. This is insane. I mean, damn, I knew he was overpowered after that reversing time stuff yesterday but bloody hell he’s impressive. [Note: I still don’t how to edit this line {you are blushing, you know}, SHUT UP MYSELF!!!]

Cough, cough, I love it. Also cool that Sherlock asked for permission first before he stopped time, I honestly didn't expect that. It's a nice sign of unity and kindness this story doesn't have often. Not that it will last long, I'm sure, but it's a different break from the rest of the mood so far.
Also, looks like Six's notes to self are becoming much more frequent! I'm guessing this will become a consistent thing throughout the chapter. (I'm wondering if it's you kind of making notes to yourself as you write, but without breaking the forth wall and integrating them in your story?)
I keep wanting to answer Six's questions but some of them really are just quick google searches and that wouldn't be helpful in a review... emanate is a word and can be used in that context!
Also, the fact that Six's notes to self are placed in serious moments, as if she's more concerned about them than the well-being of the universe, or she's simply more used to it.
One last thing here, I loved the addition of the sci-fi themes with wifi on an intergalactic scale and the way it was stopped at such a short amount of time. (And the ability to think a message away)

RAMANUJAN: So, we sent Lady Liberty here to spy on the 5D monsters. She faced some difficulties, since she is a three-dimensional spatial being, but she managed it somehow - she has Limitless Liberty, after all, she can do whatever she wants. She will now report her findings.

LADY LIBERTY: Ahem ahem, *cough*, I am Liberty, known as Marianne by the French, Libertas by the Romans, and Eleutheria by the Greeks. I have been the guardian of humanity, leading humankind to glory since antiqui-

LAPULAPU: Cut the crap out and get straight to the report already, Simati Liberty.

LADY LIBERTY: C’mon, let me monologue! I think that Shakespeare guy likes it when people talk about me. Like, in Julius Caesar-

SHAKESPEARE: Brutus doth speak of thee highly - ‘tis true, / But all of us request report from you.

WUKONG: Couldn’t have said it better myself.

LADY LIBERTY: Alright, alright, fair enough. Listen to me, approximately sixty thousand galaxy sized monsters are coming.

The hall erupted in chaos. Then, Thena threw a thicket of thrushes to the fire:

THENA: The Field Control level of an individual is directly proportional to their dimensional expanse, in other words, their size. So, they are exponentially more powerful than the entire League of Life combined.

The chaos concatenated with this calorific exclamation made every representative canter about calamity till the clamour was culled down by an appearance from the Ultimate Culler. [Note to self: Ask Nine if that was too dramatic? {The hell you mean, add more description damnit!} But I don’t know how to describe stuff! {You know what, fair enough}]

A weird, pink portal with rainbow glitter oozing out of it suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the League of Life HQ. However, somehow that barbie-ish-looking portal gave off a chilling aura that froze everyone in their places. Damn, I feel a shiver up my spine. And… what the hell… is that a toddler slowly creeping out of that thing?

A BABY: *Suckling on a soother* BWAH - BOO-BOO - Byabya!!

SHE IS SO ADORABLE OMAGAHHHHHHHH. [Note to self: I still don’t know if I should remove this line or not, {KEEP IT, SHE WAS SO CUTE} I KNOW RIGHT BUT- {JUST KEEP IT!!!}]

NINE: Hey there little guy, who are you?

The only person whose joie de vivre was totally unaffected - was Nine. Everyone else, including me, were, for some reason, fixed in their spots - as if bound by an instinct of survival incited by fear [{But weren’t you gushing over her?} I was, but damn I was scared too, I felt like I was gonna die for some reason - but damn that baby was cute.]

A BABY: *With a muffled voice* Daat!

NINE: Daat? Hello Daat! I am Nine! Nice to meet you.

Nine rose up from his seat and flew through the air to meet the toddler as she slowly crawled through the air to be gently raised up by Agent Nine. He patted her velvet black hair and she smiled.

PYTHAGORAS: GET AWAY FROM IT, TEKNON!

Pythagoras, forgoing his sense of self-preservation, jumped out of his seat with his himation extending into the air like slithers of purple cloth. Right-angled triangles appeared in his extended hand as he muttered some Ancient Greek incantation.

PYTHAGORAS: O Death! I am the Shadow Monarch of Mathematics, please forgive the insolence of this child, O Manifestation of the End!

What?

NINE: What?

DEATH: Baat?

PYTHAGORAS: O teknon! She is the 69th Death, the Ultimate Manifestation of Change - the Ultimate Culler.

NINE: What - H-how? She’s so cute! What do y-you mean she’s the manifestation of Death?

DEATH: *Still sucking the pacifier* Ba-baat! Wot are ooo toking baat?

PYTHAGORAS: Don’t you feel the creeping sensation of a shiver running down your spine?

I mean, yeah, I do - but still, SHE’s SO CUTE!

NINE: Uh, no? Why would I?

What?

WUKONG: Even I, the Sevenfold-Immortal, have my monkey hairs standing up for the first time since I saw my piss on Buddha’s hands - the heck do you mean that you don’t feel anything?

SEVEN: She is exuding fear and death by just existing, you idiot! Get away from her RIGHT NOW!

ME: Kyu-kun, even I feel like my soul’s being sucked out of my body just by her presence 20 feet away from me - how the hell can you just stand there holding her like it’s nothing?

NINE: I still don’t get it, really -

BABY awwww so cuteeee
Six's alliteration was spot on there, loved the c's. (And yay! Still going strong with the silly notes to self; honestly it's a really cool way to show her inner thoughts and even the way she interacts with herself. Inner conflict, kind of!)
Interesting that Nine wasn't fixed to his spot... maybe due to his love? He can't help it, I suppose? (Oh also glad to see Nine is doing alright, sure took a beating in previous chapters oh goodness)
Daat? Was she trying to say Death? OH AND is this the reincarnation of Death since Zero killed it that one time??! *GASP* you're just connecting the story in all kinds of ways.
Pythagoras having right-angled triangles as a weapon and having an ancient greek incantation is actually so perfect I need this to be real to who he really was XD
Nine's infatuation with Death is really cute. Only Nine.
(Also, thank you for the clarity with people talking XD)

Suddenly, I saw Sherlock’s eyebrows twitch. Then, I heard reality bow-wow as the halls and seats of the League of Life slowly spiralled out of my vision into a hollow greyscale donut that beat like a vibrating boombox. [Note to self: Ask Nine for a better euphemism - wait, no, better metaphor - or is it a simile? {Probably all of them were there in the weird compound sentence, bad writing} SHUT. UP.]

To me, it felt like an eternal instant, for lack of better words. It felt like… waiting for a minute in a game lobby. You look at the watch, and see it slowly ticking - you know it’s just a minute, but sixty seconds feel longer than a minute for some reason. I guess it has some psychological reason. [Note to self: That’s the best my P-AI could come up with. I guess Personal AIs are only as good as their Partners. {So, keep learning} Stop, you sound like Nine.]

It was purgatory, but hell. It was static, yet changing. Every beat of the donut’s vibration felt like a century, every breath a galactic year. I don’t know how much time passed, my P-AI didn’t reply, my brain didn’t reply, my other me didn’t reply - yet, it was just an instant, perhaps the exact definition of infinitesimal would be an understatement, yet an overstatement. [Note to self: I don’t have better words for this, I doubt even Nine would.]

Then, after the unchanging change stopped - I was lain upon millions of colourful cards slowly pulsating like palpitating jelly beans. [I have no idea where I was going with that simile…]

There were cards floating in the air, blowing in the wind and flowing like a stream. The sky looked like a dome made up of azure and cyan cards with wispy whipped-cream-like patches that somewhat resembled fleeting flinches of flippety clouds. I stood up, scratching my back and dusting away the little card-like dust particles. For some reason, the venerated halls of intergalactic history had crumbled into segmented slithers of incredulous cards. [Note to self: Ask Nine if literally using a line from his song is okay or not. {Uh, you sung that song though?} Still, this time I am writing, not singing. {You used several of his lines before too, so-} SHUT UP!]

Lush, verdant cards, like cartoonish greenback notes, made up a strange grassland spanning from one end of the horizon to another. I wondered where everyone was and shouted,

ME: E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!! WHERE ARE YOU ALLLLLL?! What is this place?! And why are there cards E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E-E-E-E-E?!?!?!

A card was shoved into my spine at bullet speed the moment I heard the echo of the last syllable in my ears. That really hurt, like - A LOT. [Note to self: I gotta ask Nine why that hurt so much… why does a thin cardboard card - {wow, the card is made out of cardboard, who would’ve known?} - SHUT UP - shot at like the speed of sound or something like that pierce through my skin like an actual bullet? I can’t connect with the internet right now, or I would’ve asked a Knower AI on the internet. And my P-AI is too dumb to- {Just end the note already, it’s already ten times longer than the main paragraph}]

I imagined the card to be vapourised and my spine to be healed by instinct, and so it did. I turned around to see what exactly shot me with that blade-like card and got blasted by hundreds of cards shot like a machine gun from nowhere. Though it didn’t affect me much because of my reflexive self-healing. There is only one word to describe what I saw next,

ME: …What…?

Where there was a sky before, is now a giant, shaking acrylic pink block that covers the entire sky. All I could see of the block was a straight line that covered half of the horizon, a dark shadow below it and a weirdly slanted protrusion out of the main body - like someone had zoomed into the upper-left corner of a Lego brick a thousand times.

Okay, you probably know by now that I'm a sucker for description but GOSH. Six for someone who says she's not all that great when it came to writing, I loved the way you described it (which of course also goes to you, the author, who actually wrote it.) It wasn't boring like some descriptions admittedly are, and it was so in character. I especially love that she was describing things like donuts and "flippety clouds"... what are flippety clouds? I don't know! But I do!
(The long note to self was pretty funny)
That's another thing you do really well. Making things funny - everywhere really. A lot of the time not laugh-out-loud funny, but still really humorous and enjoyable to read.
Again, the transition between the two places was really amazing. It was paced nicely and was descriptive but not boring - an delicate balance performed beautifully!
Also... I think I'm starting to understand where the title comes from...

ME: WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?!?!

SOMEONE: Shh…

Suddenly, a hand shushed me and covered my open mouth. I bit it but it tasted like rusted metal. Then I got hit by a burning torch on my head.

ME: OWW!

METAL PERSON: I am the one who should say ‘OUCH’, little girl.

I got hit by the metal torch again. I wanted to scream but couldn’t because my mouth was covered super tight and for some reason, I couldn’t move my body.

ME: W-Wu-Woo A-ar yoo?

METAL HAND: I am Liberty, goddamnit.

ME: Da-amn, yoo a-ar n-not be-bing to-too lib-eral, ar yoo?

LADY LIBERTY: SHUT UP! If it weren’t for you, I would have been fighting out there.

ME: Wh-What?

LADY LIBERTY: Yeah, Sherlock told me to keep a check on you ‘coz Nine told him to keep you safe no matter what.

ME: Can yoo p-pleese let go o’ m-mi ma-mouth?

LADY LIBERTY: Fine, fine. But stay silent, please.

ME: FINALLY-

LADY LIBERTY: Shh…

ME: Oh sorry… so, what exactly is happening…?

Then I felt my head twitch a bit and heard Liberty's voice in my mind,

LADY LIBERTY: There is a reason behind why I am telling you to stay silent, so please shut your mouth up and listen to me and talk to me with your thoughts, not out loud.

I thought, “Okay…?”

LADY LIBERTY: So, listen. Things got a bit weird after legit Death arrived in that conference-

I thought, “Yeah… But what exactly happened after that? What is this place? Why are there cards everywhere? What is that large back-of-a-Lego-brick in the sky? And what is-?”

LADY LIBERTY: ONE QUESTION AT A TIME - please.

I thought, “Sorry… But at least give me a summary.”

LADY LIBERTY: Alright… so… to summarise - I don’t know what's going on but -

ME: WHAT?

I got punched in the face after that, and Liberty started yelling in my mind,

LADY LIBERTY: I WILL PERMANENTLY SEW YOUR MOUTH AND GOUGE OUT YOUR VOCAL CHORD IF YOU UTTER A SINGLE WORD-

[Note to self: That was dark. {Really dark}]

Oh cool she's actually made of metal. I sense bruising on Six in the future.
Talking in their minds to not be heard... I wonder what it is that they can't be too loud around? How many others can speak in their heads? Is it the whole organization? Everyone everytime everywhere? A mix of both?
Looks like Lady Liberty has a bit of a temper...
Can I just talk about the notes to self? I really love the way you've integrated them, again, and the one in this section is so amazing in that it contrasts the others - it's funny how Six was thinking about definitions of words when Eight announced that everything was going to be gone soon, but then in the sole company of Lady Liberty she starts getting mad. Even her notes to self show her shift in mood and in the situation.

I thought, “I swear that I won't utter a single word without your permission - but seriously, what do you mean that you don’t know what's going on? Who in the world knows what's going on? And-”

LADY LIBERTY: Alright so, I guess it’s natural to be surprised after all this. But yeah, to be honest, I don't think anyone knows what's going on anymore-

I opened my mouth to say “WHAT THE-?” but quickly closed it after Liberty gave me the scariest death stare in the history of the universe.

LADY LIBERTY: Let me finish my sentence, girl-

I thought, “Why are your sentences so long?”

LADY LIBERTY: BECAUSE I AM LIBERTY, GODDAMNIT! I CAN TALK HOWEVER LONG I WANT!!! The word of Liberty must be propagated by any possible means and-

I stared at her metal eyes and she understood my body language that yelled, SHUT UP.

LADY LIBERTY: Alright, I am sorry for blabbering on for so long. Let me get to the point.

I thought, “Yes please.”

LADY LIBERTY: So, Sherlock tried to stop time to deal with Death. But since Death is - well, Death - she nullified his power in an instant. But since Sherlock Holmes is - well, Sherlock Holmes - he nullified her nullification in the same instant. And then-

I thought as loud as I could, “IN! SHORT! KUDASAIIIII!!!”

LADY LIBERTY: Sorry, sorry. So, Sherlock fought Death. The 5D guys attacked. We all died. But Sherlock reversed time. But Nine didn't die somehow, and time reversal didn't affect him, so causality got a bit complicated. Then-

ME: Hold up, WHAT-

This back and forth is still pretty funny - I mean, there's no reason it wouldn't be but I'm saying that I like the consistency of their very silly argument. It's similar to the one at the beginning of the chapter, but still different.
Something I thought of, though, if you wanted to add would be to add a little bit more of description for the statue of liberty - as it is now with metal is accurate, but the first thing I think of when I think of the statue of liberty is green. (As well as her torch in her hand and spikes on her... hat? Idk in her hair or something) The reason I said this is because the description of metal feels a little off to me for Lady Liberty. As always, this is a suggestion, and you can ignore it to your heart's content! I just thought it might be cool.
Also. They all DIED??! Hold up, WHAT-

Then I went unconscious after my head got chopped.

HOLD UP, WHAT
WDYM
NO

I don’t know when I woke up, but when I did, it was all dark. Pitch black. I touched my neck, it was fine - somehow. I made a flashlight, but the darkness doused out the light and I still couldn’t see anything. I turned the light to the floor, I saw cards - black cards. Each card had a large bold “READ” written on it an angle. I looked around and it seemed that all the angled READ’s seemed to have inclined towards a single point, possibly converging there. Taking this assumption to be true, I followed the angled READ’s with my flashlight till I saw a shining book in the distance. [Note to self: {Isn’t calling your phone “a shining book” a bit too pretentious?} SHUT UP!]

I picked up the shining book, i.e., my inter-mob. A certain document was opened on my phone, it was titled ‘I am Kinda Bored’. The heading on the page was, ‘Chapter 69: Pro Te, Sexta’.

ME: You jerk… Stop screwing with me and show yourself!

I thought I could hear a faint laughter somewhere in the distance but it could just be a hallucination - I am not sure with that guy, it could also be both, somehow. Nevertheless, I started reading:

‘So, Agent Six, let your omnipotent jerk tell you what happened. Everyone is currently trapped in an infinite loop of Death and Resurrection - except Nine and tu. Agent One is behind all of these Death-and-5D shenaniganery because she is mad at me - I told Statue of Liberty about this, but eh, I guess she was too scared when she met me and ita, Death kinda ruined your meeting, non?’

I hate that bastard so much. If he knew all of that was gonna happen like 69 years ago - of course, it had to be 69 years ago, why else would it be any other number? - WHY DIDN’T HE CHANGE IT?

‘Because I couldn’t, Sexta.’

Wait, WHAT?

Did I read that right?

‘Because I couldn’t, Sexta. Believe me, I don’t lie.’

THERE IS SOMETHING THAT JERK CANNOT DO???

‘A person didn’t allow me to.’

WHAT? Who is the person? God? Your dad? WHO IS IT?

‘C’mon Sexta, how could you think that I’d tell you so easily? It’s no fun that way, find it out yourself.’

YOU JERK! I SWEAR I WILL FIND OUT THAT GUY AND WIPE THAT PERMANENT CREEPY SMUG EXPRESSION OUT OF YOUR FACE SOMEDAY!!! YOU PSYCHOPATH! YOU-

‘This day, the very day that mad doctor clipped off my fingernails and went to create a test tube baby who’d later become Agent One; the very day I established the intergalactic internet; the very day I outlawed all currency and established the Lex Simul system across the Laniakea supercluster; the very day I established the Da Vinci Calendar and the World Government; the very day Ego prepared to express my infinite joy and suffering on some white, dead, cellulose-strips called paper - that I got to know about an existentia supera, and my infinite joy compounded infinitely.’

Uh, so… I never really thought about that jerk being a being of infinite suffering and joy… That must be tough, I guess - but still, he IS a JERK. Just a guy obsessed with Leonardo da Vinci and 69. But I don’t have any idea about what he means by the last line, why would you be happy by getting to know that a guy more powerful than you exists? What kind of logic is that? [Note to self: {You do not really follow logic yourself, do you?} SHUT UP, I CAN’T EDIT PROPERLY BECAUSE OF YOUR ‘Notes to Self’. {You mean your ‘Notes to Self’?} WHY CAN’T I STILL SHUT YOU UP? GAHHHHH!!!]

"written on it an angle." <-- I'm not quite sure what you meant here. Missing a word maybe? "At?" Grammar?
Okay thank goodness she's okay (obviously she is and always was going to be (for this chapter), but...)
The way you set this up is actually pretty creepy? Like, the creepy darkness and the whole everyone dying thing - even Zero seems serious. Zero.
OKAY BUT ABOUT ONE I now understand. She did all that. Just because she was mad at Zero? I mean, yes, Zero is awful but OH GOODNESS. I remember you warning me about One being awful, and after Zero was so mean and cruel to her I kind of didn't believe you anymore. But she's the reason everything started happening around this time? Wow I need to let that sink in.
Couldn't? Zero couldn't do something? Six I'm right along with you, did I read that right? Who is that person???

So, what do I do now?

‘Eh, I guess since you don't really have a lot to do right now - because, despite your vix infinite power, you cannot manifest it correctly yet-’

‘The hell does he mean that I have infinite power?

‘All of you Agents who were created from me have a fragment of my power, and bene, since even the smallest fraction of infinitas is infinitas, enough control over your emotion can make you its master - like One. Even Duo is quite close to unlock his ultimate potential.’

Wh-huh? … Really?

‘Yes, really.’

So, um, uh - what about the other Field Wielders in the League of Life? What about Sherlock and the other members of Halcyon - how did they learn to control the Field?

‘Eh, most of them mutated by natural evolutionary processes and learned to harness the Field while a few managed to peruse the foundations of existence and made gadgets to harness them - you should have read this stuff in middle school, you should have been more studious, Sexta.’

That… is true… but I don't need to hear this from a PSYCHOPATHIC DELINQUENT like YOU!!

‘You are such a Karen, scis tu?’

SHUT UP!

‘So, the following is what you need to know right now:

You can change your auto-diary post primary input - i.e., you can edit the diary at a later time. To do that, tu can check the appendix to this chapter.
Sherlock Holmes, Nine and everyone else is fine - don’t worry about them. Also, it was the large galaxy-sized 5D Lego robot whose feet you saw in the horizon that cut off your head with blade-like cards. I call it Machina Lateris. It can instantly detect the slightest of particle and electromagnetic vibrations within a radius of 200 AU and its precision increases upon the intensity of the vibration.’

Wait, that was a 5D monster? That's… understandable… so, the instant intensity reaction mechanism - was that why Liberty was telling me to shut up?

‘

Ita, she sensed it with her Limitless Liberty.’

But what's with these cards everywhere? Like, what kinda place is this?

‘

Oh, this is what Una transformed the universe to for enhancing the 5D creatures’ Field Control levels and help them manifest their 5-dimensional forms in a 3-dimensional universe.’

I don’t know what even means but - Wh-WHAT? AGENT ONE TRANSFIGURED THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE? WHY DID SHE DO THAT?! AND HOW?!

‘

You should read more carefully, Sexta. Re-read the first paragraph of this chapter.’

Wait…

‘ …Agent One is behind all of these Death-and-5D shenaniganery because she is mad at me…’

Wait, what? THAT DOESN’T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS AT ALL!! Wait - no, that does answer the ‘why’ part… WHAT ABOUT THE ‘HOW’ PART?

‘

As of yesterday, Agent One is more powerful than all of the League of Life and Halcyon members combined - except me, scilicet. She wasn’t that powerful initially, but continuous redoubling of hatred for decades - considering tempus relativum, even centuries - has made her the strongest in this universe.’

NANI?! THEN WHY DID YOU LET HER RUN FREE FOR SO MANY YEARS?

‘I took pity on her.’

Whoa. Okay, first off, interesting about the Field Wielders (I don't think I've mentioned it before, but I like that you added assonance to that name, and then alliteration for League of Life. It's really cool and more memorable.) And that the Agents were created from Zero was already known, but the further explanation is very helpful and interesting! It re.... re.... informs? Confirms? Idk I can't think of the word but it reestablishes -that's it- that knowledge while adding something new to it.
The change of Zero's dialogue to bullet points is something I wasn't expecting... it was kind of a nice way to break it up a little more and make it more clear. And hey, I thought you said that Six's chapters were going to be less clear than the others. But you did add the ability to edit the journal, which now explains a lot of things... oh is the notes to self additions later? OH that makes a whole lot more sense... See? You've got this continuity down! Both with characters and events, but also ideas. No why are you so good at this my writing isn't nearly as cool as this.
Okay but honestly this version of Zero scares me... he feels so... different. So very different. Like. Pity, his not as evil humor manor? Who is this person and what did you do to Salai??

…

…

…

Are you kidding me…?

‘Ego assure you, I am not.’

The word ‘pity’ is the farthest concept in existence relative to you. [Wow, that was aggressively eloquent.]

‘Minime, no - I am existence.’

Well, whatever… Did you reflect on your behaviour?

‘Ita.’

That’s… an improvement, I guess - though that’s still nowhere close to redemption.

‘This is not an anime, Sexta. Wake up to reality - the existence of the world is at danger, a primordial being is rampaging because of a misunderstanding caused by Hatred herself, people are dying and being resurrected, your best friend is getting traumatized due to all this death and suffering - and you are here reading a book that predicted this entire conversation 69 years ago - what are you doing, Sexta? Get up and act - NOW!’

But… WHAT SHOULD I DO? Taskete kure, I… need some time to process what happened… I-I don’t know what to do… Specially after your uncharacteristically uplifting speech.

‘Well, you haven’t got much time - look behind you, Duo and Una’s fight is about to reach here. Jump right now to your left, or you will die and the universe will reset again.’

I jumped towards my left by instinct. My right hand barely grazed by what felt like the surface of the sun. Then, my forehead started twitching as I heard a voice in my head,

TWO: I am so sorry, Six! I didn’t mean to hurt you!

The very next second, I felt a wave of emotions hit me like a whirlpool - a clash between hatred and kindness. Then, a sudden shockwave blasted me across the abyssal void and another tossed me back like a tennis ball. Countless green and red streaks of blinding light gnashed against each other like a rambunctious light show. Every now and then, black cards rose up from the floor to envelope the green light in darkness only to be drilled through by unyielding light - And all of this repeated constantly in intervals of a few milliseconds. [Note to self: I had to rely upon my unconscious other self to know what was even going on, as I couldn’t keep up even after boosting my vision with the Field. {Finally, show me some gratitude.} Don’t you know how to keep your mouth shut? {I can say the same about you} SHUT UP!}

TWO: Io am so sorry that everyone got involved in a toxic feud between my parents, I couldn’t stop my mother - no matter how many times I tried, mamma kept hating everyone and everything. Only if I could somehow change the past…

Ni-kun… You are so good, you know? But you have no reason to be sorry, you had no choice in your birth… But, by the way, where’s Sherlock?

TWO: I have no idea… Probably dealing with Death while the others are dealing with the 5D sauriae.

What about Nine? Is he… okay?

TWO: Can’t you sense his Field Signature? It’s more potent than ever.

Uh… I still have no idea what a Field Signature feels like… So…

TWO: Do you feel like something is pressing your body from all sides?

Now that you say it… I do feel a sort of weird pressure squeezing me, it’s been hard to move since I got in this weird card world - what about it? I thought it was due to you two fighting.

TWO: Partially, yes, but most of it is caused by Nine. - in short, that’s Nine’s Field Signature at its activated form.

Wh-What? B-but how?! I have never felt like this before-

TWO: That’s because he’s not who you know anymore…

What do you mean by that?

As soon as I thought that, I saw the green light flicker for a second.

TWO: Sorry, Six, I need to focus on my mamma right now, I’ll talk to you later, it’s a bit complicated.

"uncharacteristically uplifting speech" - SEE? She gets it
Also I like "aggressively eloquent."
Anyway, oh I didn't know One and Two were fighting... kind of makes sense. It feels poetical, in a way, with the classic lights and contrasting characters - very specifically in this case with hatred and kindness... did you plan this all along? This was honestly really cool... Also I love the way you wrote their fight... it was engaging and it was clear to imagine it - even though everything was happening milliseconds apart lol. Even though your characters are overpowered, they're all overpowered, which is honestly the coolest way I've ever seen that cliche flipped it honestly makes it way better than helpless heroes, especially with how you write these characters.
Poor Two having to fight his own mother! Having her as a mother... sounds awful... and also having Zero as a father... poor Two oh my gosh.

Then the green light zapped the red light out of my sight in a flash, and then all went silent. Then, I felt my inter-mob vibrate in my hand. I looked at the alight screen.

‘Good job surviving that, Sexta.’

I never thought that I would say this but, thanks for saving me there, Zero.

‘Hehe, you’re welcome.’

So… what am I supposed to do now? How do I get out of this weird UNO world?

‘I would have helped you if ego possem, but currently, I am barred from interfering in that universe by that person.’

I still can’t imagine who the heck would have the power to oppose you, still, can’t you help me? Not even a teeny tiny bit?

‘You are such a hypocrite, scis tu?’

So are you, YOU JERK! Don’t think I have forgotten or forgiven what you did? I-

‘My dear reader, I am not about to undergo a redemption arc, so tu can keep hating me if you want to.’

Wait, did you tell that to me or to people reading this book in general?

‘You don’t need to know that, Sexta. What you do need to know is that you have to tread carefully near Nine right now, he has gone on to his First Evolutionary Stage, or as I like to call it - Primus Gradus Evolutionis.’

That’s the same thing as Ni-kun said - explain me what that even means, what do you mean that Nine is evolving? Is he an ape or what?

‘There will be no story if I tell you straight away, it’s no fun! You will come to know in time.’

There’s the Zero I know, you are still the same ol’ jerk - I am glad.

‘Bene, do you want this jerk to help you or not?’

I have no other option, do I? Sigh.

‘I need you to become aware of your Nature.’

Um… what?

‘You really should have concentrated in your classes rather than procrastinating… I mean, that’s hypocritical coming from me, tamen, verum est.’

Reader, hmm? Is that Six or is that me and others? Hmm...
Gotta have the classic, I can't tell you that, it'd ruin the story. And it's like you have read my comments of Zero being uncharacteristically... nice? and made him go back to good 'ol Zero.
And whoa, f-bomb. Didn't see that coming. This is me getting all mod-y, but any work with the f-bomb must have an 18+ rating attached to it. hint hint. (Or you can censor the work if you don't want to add that rating for whatever reason) You can check the YWS Rules if you're unsure or want more info. (Or just ask, ofc, as always ^^)

‘ ‘Natura is a passive ability that permeates a Field Wielder’s being and distinguishes one Field Signature - thus, a Field Wielder - from another’ - Chapter 6, page 6, line 6 of ‘General Knowledge About Everything and 69’ written by me - and the only answer that you got right in your last semester exam.’

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment, as I thought, “Oh… yeah, I remember it now. What about it?”

‘Do you know what your Nature is?’

Uh… Natura… I… I never really found out my Nature… I was too busy with albums and concerts and stuff… So… You know… [Note to self: You know you were just making excuses, right? SHUT- Well, you are correct but still - SHUT UP!]

‘Bene, you have to find out your Natura to get out of this card world. To do that, you must lean into your true emotion, as all Agents have to control their True Emotion to master the Field.’

But… how the hell do I do that…?

‘You are Fury, Sexta. So, to control anger, you need to use its opposite - what is the opposite of anger?’

Uh… calmness… or coolness… or something like that, I guess?

‘You have to master calmness in order to control fury - Scio that you have been trying to do that for a while, and that you have succeeded in it but not as much as you’d like to - Correcta, ne?’

You are right… I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t want him to undergo a trauma like Agent One and turn into something like that…

‘You are trying your best to keep your rage in control, yet sometimes, no matter how much you try - you sometimes cannot control yourself.’

Yeah… Nine has suffered so much because of my uncontrollable anger… All because of me…

‘I know, I know - it’s okay-’

It’s not okay… I-I couldn’t help myself, believe me, even if I tried to…

‘I know, my dear Sexta, I know-’

Please… help me… Taskete kure… How do I calm my mind? I know I call you a jerk and all that all the time… but…

‘I will, just keep reading-’

I… I really want to help that boy, he is adorable, I love him. Please help me…

…

…

Please…

…

…

‘Don’t cry, Sexta…’

I started weeping uncontrollably. I sat down on the field of cards, full of despair. My legs slowly drowned through the ground. Everything happened in the last couple of days swept across my mind and the world of cards seemed to fall upon me. It squashed my head. It squeezed my body. It seemed sadness’d savour my shallow bosom with its bottomless, boundless thirst for bare and benign spirits.

Only answer she got right? That's funny. And then she doesn't even know much and never even found out what her nature was.
And whoa... we're really getting into her emotions here. Other emotions, really, outside of anger. And... she's sorry. Very sorry. I honestly didn't expect this much of an emotional reaction from her - or any character. Obviously she didn't want to have hurt Nine, but I didn't realize to the extent she accidentally hurt herself doing it...
You know... it's crazy that she starts crying here, of all places. I was literally crying a few minutes ago... (don't worry about it, it's all good) It honestly keeps feeling like you're writing this as I'm reading, and speaking through the pages... A sign of a good story/book, or a sign of wizardry... who knows.
And the ending with alliteration. Kind of ties back to way earlier in the chapter.

Then, my phone vibrated vehemently. Through the pitch black void, through the millions of decks of cards trying to press me down - a collage of black text and white light peeped at me. I could make out a few words through my teary eyes:

‘It is okay to cry, Sexta… We are only human, after all.’

I looked up at the screen.

‘I am not good at making people feel better. So, I will just quote mea amor aeternam-”

What is that?

‘Leonardo da Vinci,’

Of course… who else would it be?

At first I thought, oh, phone vibrating. Time to move on in the story, as the end is literally coming. But then that sweet (mostly) moment, that's beautiful.

‘The deeper the feeling, the greater the suffering. Know that, when you are drowning in the pit of despair, when the world seems heavy and the heart feels void - you have lived. To live is not just to smile, to frolick and to sing - it is equally about when you weep, when you despair and when you sob.’

......
I'm crying right now oh my gosh. Like seriously this is amazing how did you work out the timing so well help. Did you write that, or did Leonardo da Vinci write that? I feel like I remember you saying you read a lot of his stuff, right? Is this your own thoughts interpreted from his, or is this his writing?

That’s… I haven’t lived long enough to realise that, yet… *Sniff* It sounds something a wise guy would say…

“Thus, remind yourself when you cry, you have smiled. Remember that when you despair, you have known ecstasy. Know that when you are empty, you will be filled up in the very next moment - for that is the nature of things. That is how the lungs breathe, that is how the winds flow, and that is how the waves crash onto the beaches - like your pain is crashing against your joyful memories, seemingly corroding them.”

NO I'M CRYING EVEN HARDER WHAT

I… I feel like I am starting to understand something… although I am not really sure what that is… I guess I should just keep reading…

“The greatest deception people suffer is from their own opinion. It might seem you have enough time when you don’t, little time when you may vouch for more. Observe, think, learn - and act. It is not enough to observe and sigh in despair, it is not enough to think and muse in vain, it is not enough to learn and sleep in tranquility - you must act in haste, lest you regret it in the future.”

But what exactly should I do…? Things… are occurring at a scale I can’t even imagine… People with impossible powers are fighting at impossible speeds… What can I even do? I am just a dumb girl who sings well…

“He who does not punish evil, commands it to be done.”

But… I am nowhere strong enough to deal with them…

‘Who says that? All of you Agents have the same potential, didn’t you see Duo fighting Una? They were an almost equal match. You can do the same if you try hard enough, Sexta.’

But I don’t have enough time! I have to do it right now! I need more time, only if I had more time…

‘Well, don’t worry, your fictional crush is standing right behind you.’

I turned around to hear a loud crash in the dark abyss. The cards that weighed upon me instantaneously disintegrated. Then I smiled widely as he looked at me and said,

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Here I am, Miss Six. I beg your pardon for being so late - I was previously preoccupied with 5-Dimen-

ME: I KNOW, I KNOW, IT’S OKAY! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME HAVE MORE TIME SO THAT I CAN MASTER CONTROLLING MY EMOTIONS?

SHERLOCK HOLMES: I beg your pardon?

ME: Can you stop time for a while? PLEASE?

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Sure, I can stop it indefinitely if you need me to.

ME: PERFECT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I will also try to edit my Diary while I am at it…

[Note to self: {Your edits are garbage, they are all over the place…} At least, I tried… Sigh, I guess it would take a lifetime to reach Nine’s level. {You will still probably misspell words} SHUT UP!]

Nothing like some amazing inspirational quotes to let our chapter's hero rise and continue on with her journey. *sobs*
...
And wow, stopping time indefinitely? Sometimes I forget how much power you've given Sherlock Holmes. But yay, maybe Six can control her emotions better, especially with the training from Sherlock!
And the tie of the editing of the diary in the notes to self back to the beginning of the chapter is great. As always I love a full circle rotation from start to finish, even within a single chapter.

I can't wait to see what happens next! If you can't tell, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. I think I've said that before... but that's before I knew about this chapter, or before this was even written... soo...

Seriously, though, I can't wait to see where this goes! Your storytelling skills are excellent, and continue to grow each time! I'll admit, I was a little cautious when starting to read this way back long ago (sorry!), partially because it was multiple chapters and also because I was hesitant to unpack everything within the first chapter (which you stated was supposed to be a little confusing, I believe.) But now that I'm invested I can't wait so see where this goes! Seriously, I'm so excited! (But PLEASE take your time. Don't rush for me, trust me I can wait. A lot.)

Thank you for this awesome story you've shared with me, I'm growing more in love with it each time I read it. Even if you decide to abandon this story for whatever reason sometime in the future, I hope you'll keep writing! You're talented and I hope you can have fun with writing. Have an amazing day/night, friend. Hope you're doing well. (And as always, let me know if you need anything)<333