The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the world is boring.
I am having some chips with some salad, lying down on my couch and watching some stupid 20th-century silent film. It is kinda funny though - that tiny moustache guy is really skilled. It’s also cool to not have any mosquitoes murmuring merrily around my mango juice mixed with melon sauce. I should have wiped out all the mosquitoes from this planet way before yesterday - kinda dumb of me, to be honest.
Ita, it is kind of an uninteresting ‘restart’ to my Auto-Diary – but I think my Leo would get it when we finally get to it. Also, my dear readers, this story isn’t for everyone – so pack your seat belts and get ready for the ride even if you don’t get what it all means. And-
Oh, what’s that noise some lightyears away?
Ah shit, here we go again - it’s time for some stupid somatotropic-hormone-drinking reptilian sperm monster to shatter my dream of a peaceful morning. It likes to squish continental plates together, to get all the somatotropic hormones of all the beings on a planet together – to consume it. Don’t ask me ‘why?’ quod that’s how it manages to even exist on this plane – it’s a 5D being trying to snuggle in a 3D world. “How does somatotropic hormone help in that in any way???”, you ask? Well, it’s related to that specific being’s Natura and stuff – it would become more clear as you read this novel, don’t worry about it for now.
So… it’s wrecking some satellite planets orbiting around the neighbouring star system - some billion guys might be dead by now ‘coz I forgot, but meh.
Should I go there myself or just telepathically annihilate it from here? Nah, wait – What’s good enough to be my vessel? Yeah, this potato chip will be fine. Woop! There goes the chip ten light years away, I kinda love the Dark Fluid/Field. Now, where’s the alien monster? Oh, he’s brushing his teeth with a continental plate. Well, whatever, woop! There turns the monster into my lifetime supply of cotton candy. Magnifico!
Should I have activated the audio-visual mode of my Auto-Diary for that? Meh, who cares?
Ah, crap! Why’s Eight knocking on my door this early in the morning?
Come in! Quid est, Octo?
“I hate you, Agent Zero.”
Eh, I know, I know. What is it now? Quid est?
“You knew that Spermati-Somati Saura was gonna attack now, didn’t you?”
Uh, you mean that monster? Yeah, I did. So?
“So, why didn’t you save that colony?”
Eh, I forgot.
“- _ -”
What’s that look for? At least I saved the four neighbouring colonies!
“Three billion humans and twenty billion bots died!”
Thirty billion humans and two hundred billion bots lived!
*Facepalm*
C’mon! No one would have lived if it weren’t for me. It’s better than having everyone killed, right?
“You know this is the very reason the other nine Agents hate you.”
Nine likes me though.
“Except that newb, the rest of us all hate your guts – and you know that!”
So what? Since when did ego care? You got anything else to say?
“Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter to you… Sigh, why are you like this?!”
I don’t care, to be honest, about anything - nothing matters, honestly. Anything else?
“Oh yeah, Nine’s coming. He told me that he wants to train with you.”
Why now, so early in the morning?
“It’s literally 12 o’clock.”
Eh, ita. Let him come, I like that kid. Now, go do what you like doing. Write a casualty report for the League of Life meeting or something.
“Yeah, yeah.”
Eight left.
Scruffy teen, that one, phew! He’s too boring. He should have been Boredom instead of Disappointment.
It’s all so boring – but I guess it’s about to change now, as that’s precisely the reason this novel starts here instead of like 50 years back.
You know, God, if you are indeed listening to me - sometimes, I really want to erase everything. Nothing really matters to me since Leo died. Only if Melzi lived, I would have at least had a friend. But you had to take him away like Leo, didn't you? And yeah, although I married her just to get some money, Bianca was not bad - she was pretty. It’s really boring to be immortal, damn it, I hate you, God!
Now, what did Eight say? Oh yes, Nine’s coming, yay! I like that kid. He reminds me of when I first joined Leo’s workshop. I used to look like him. Leonardo was an awesome teacher to me - I hope I prove to be the same to him! Ah, my Leo... Leonardo da Vinci… Your Salai really misses you…
Ego don’t like how my head works, to be honest. Sigh.
Anyway, readers, if it’s not clear by now – I am Salai, a pupil of Leonardo da Vinci. Tu can also call me Gian, though I wouldn’t prefer that. Everyone around me calls me either Agent Zero or President Zero – as none dare to speak of me by my real name for some reason. This is an alternate timeline where Leonardo was way smarter and managed to grasp the fact that the universe was expanding (though I kinda erased Dark Energy as I didn’t like the heat death of the universe) and created a blueprint for a device that could harness its power. However, unbeknownst to him, he detected an even more fundamental force – the essence of Existence – and his device worked to harness that instead of what he initially hypothesised. I made that device, ate it in a stupor and stuff happened – and we are here now. Bene, then-
Crash!
"Oh sorry, Sensei! I didn't want to break the door like that!"
Oh, Nine’s here – I guess that’s enough lore-dumping for now, readers. Keep reading to know more. Anyway-
Nineeeeeeeee!!! It's alright, dude, that's today's lesson for you!
"Sorry, I didn't get you, Sensei. What do you mean?"
Today, you are going to reverse entropy and fix this door!
"OH NO SHI-!"
Next Chapter: I love Physics!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,755 Reviews
So. I read it.
First sentence is nice.
Pls do better paragraphing in this one: “Ah shit, here we go again – “ It hard to read ☹
You didn’t set up why the monster needs to be destroyed, when it’s so far away. No mention on who exactly lives there. AH ok, you didn’t bc he doesn’t care. Well. I never liked him. Still, idk why he cared enough to destroy the monster. Was it rly only bc it was noisy?
Honestly. I don’t know what Nine sees in this guy.
Tho it is interesting that even Zero has troubles he can’t fix. That he cant bring back the dead.
I feel like the explanation (abt Leo and fields and essence etc), while DEEPLY appreciated, comes extremely late.
I don’t like being in Zero’s head.
The first paragraph was fine, v grounded. But the moment you … try to get too much in character, you lose me, very quickly. It’s not just the rapid fire transitions, it’s also the way you say it. You start with an incredibly unlikable character and the redeeming things come so late :/ Like I do find it interesting that even Salai lost ppl etc but all that came before? That, that is not for me.
I do want to know why Nine broke the door oô
Hello, My Friend!
Hi Rebel! Your summoning has returned me to this chapter, to leave a proper review! I shall be using my Familiar method accordingly, of course! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
Okay! To my understanding, we have this cosmic-sounding being narrating the story, presumably "Zero" as the dialogue implied, talking about his life as an immortal aboard a vessel. He argues with Eight for a bit, giving us some ideas of their dynamic and Zero's role on the team, and leaves us on Agent Nine breaking into his room before being told his lesson is to fix it. Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Pretty great! Not too drawn-out or jam-packed with details, decent pacing, and very humorous—the incredibly casual tone, in contrast with the sheer chaos of what's being described here, got me chuckling quite a bit!
Descriptions and Setting: It's okay, although I do have to agree with some of the other reviews in that some more descriptions would be very nice to see, to give us a better idea of what the characters look like, and more importantly than even that I would argue, what this place looks like. Even just some baselines to ground us, like things in the room (aside from the TV), what the tech might look like (a clue to how advanced this world is), maybe a simple style or color palette? Even a little of this can go a long way, and really make your chapter pop!
Characterization: Awesome! I absolutely love how Agent Zero is such an apathetic immortal. He doesn't just sound spiteful, much less wrathful or anything like that, he just sounds bored, which is inherently funny given the context! Likewise, Eight and Nine create an interesting introduction to more members of the team (I'm assuming it's a team with more members, given the numbered codenames), where they are a *little* more responsible and concerned with the fate of billions lol.
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Not bad! This chapter was pretty well-written, except for two teeeeeeny format-related things that stuck out to my nitpicky self, lol. One is the lack of quotations around Zero's responses to Eight and Nine. It becomes very hard to tell what narration is occurring in his own head, and what he's actively saying in contrast. I almost wondered if he was telepathic for a moment, but anyway, I just really think it would help to put quotations around his responses, so we know when he's actually speaking to the others and when he's just narrating.
The other thing was using actions, and even an emoticon as dialogue, with the "-_-" face and then "facepalm" as responses. It struck me *personally* as a little bit odd and very out-of-place for a novel chapter, using these in lieu of narrating, "she had an unamused expression" or "she instantly facepalmed."
But of course, this is all just my opinion based on how I learned, so take only what you want from any of this breakdown and leave the rest! <3
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
This is where I shove little things like typos or botched sentences, although I didn't find any here! Nice job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
No theories yet, as it's a bit too early for this story! Although, for reactions and highlights, I must point to...
I like how you immediately established the tone of Zero and the overall story here. Simple, uneventful, "boring." Deceptively peaceful, in hindsight, great contrast to what's to come...
Speaking of which, MY GOD, that caught me off guard the first time I read it! Even just the way you describe the monster is so bewildering and out-of-this-world, like some Lovecraftian monstrosity ready to devour worlds. Yet, again keeping that casual tone, it gives this impression that it's totally normal—if not for the world itself, then just for Zero. In either case, it's a shocking twist of events!
I have to say, I like the numbered code names! I also like the dynamics of the characters thus far. They sound wonderfully chaotic and dysfunctional, and that always makes for some interesting teamwork, and sometimes just sheer hilarity!
Ooo, this was some great lore for our main character here! Something that explains at least a part of his apathy toward this world. It sounds like he's outlived a lot of friends and love interests already, and watching each one pass on no doubt left a mark, huh? And finishing it all with that angry "I hate you, God!" was eerie in its own way. It also got me thinking why Zero is the way he is—that is, immortal. An act of God? Something else? Huh. Curious!
LOL, I loved that reaction from poor Nine, and the sudden cut-off!
MadThoughts...Overall, I feel like there might be some rough edges to grind out, but oh well—every early iteration of a novel, short story, or whatever has them. What matters is the potential in the story itself, and even as someone who's not super versed in the intricacies of sci-fi, I see this having amazing potential! Nicely done!
Also, since I have so much to catch up on, I will likely be doing another review for Chapter 2 here in a moment. So stay tuned for a second review!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thanks a lot for your review, Ravena! %uD83D%uDE2D%uD83D%uDE4F
I am now thinking of rewriting some of my earlier chapters after actually finishing Cour II, especially chapters 1 and 3. I will keep your suggestions in mind too. I hope you continue reading... your review was phenomenal and I can%u2019t even ask for anything better from anyone tbh. This top-quality review kinda made my day, so thanks again %uD83D%uDE2D
Of course, you're very welcome!
pretty good Jit. And yes, I read it this quickly.
pretty good Jit. And yes, I read it this quickly.
hi! It's ocean here to shoot you a quick review ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚
Now shall we dive in?
So I decided to break down the characters and not so much the story itself
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Agent Zero
To me seems very unemotional to literally everything going on. He takes care of threats like their nothing. Many of the other Agents seem to like his and I assume for how reckless or uncaring he is for anybody. He is definitely hiding grief some where but he does not feel like he needs to worry others with his pain.
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Agent Eight
Honestly he's giving "I'm the boss and your ticking me off" kind of vibe. He's not a big fan of Agent Zero but its accountable. He's got a very teenage attidute but mature.
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Agent Nine
My favorite character tbh Eight is a overall a happy person but extremely clumsy and also naive (literally me).
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People of Zero's past
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Leonardo da Vinci or Leo
Zero's former mentor and father figure. His death is a something Zero weighs himself heavily on.
Melzi
Close friend that also passed away
Bianca
Zero's ex-wife
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Stuff that audibly made me giggle
The Alien Sperm Monster had me rolling! I've never heard something creative yet so funny!!!
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Anyways this writing is so hilariously creative and I can't wait to write more on the character progression bc that's what I do best
Keep on swimming, Ocean ( *ˊᵕˋ)
Thanks for the review, oc3ean! :p
I just discovered this and the series itself already sounds stupidly funny. Time to binge read.
Hey there, thanks for the appreciation! But yeah, the novel isn't finished yet, it still has a long way to go. Please give me any feedback that comes to your mind! :p
Salutations, curious mind!
Amaya here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. 📚! Here’s the first review!
Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my review magic! ✨
The Good Stuff:
First of all, let's talk about the parts that really rocked!
Your story gave off Star Trek vibes! I like the setting you’ve chosen. I think it’s in space, if I’m wrong please correct me. The world looks very far in the future also, which can be a really fun way to explore. I have a feeling this is going to be kind of dystopian, but I’m not too sure.
You have a great protagonist for this chapter, Agent Zero. He has a lot of personality and his vibe is very chill and sassy. He seems like a person who doesn't have a care in the world. So that part went really well. ^^ Agent Eight also has a great personality, the fact that he’s annoyed by Zero’s behaviour comes out really well through his dialogues and behaviour.
Next up, your dialogues: Your dialogues are really kind of the centre of your story and really drive your plot forward, I will come back to them later. XD
Last but not least, I wanted to say, great job on the sub-title! I think it really relates to the chapter which is a good thing and it really catches your attention.
I also wanted to say, I really like the Leonardo da vinci touch. So casually, he just happened to be Zero’s friend. Awesome thinking there! This is definitely a nice twist, I haven’t read before.
Areas to Improve:✒️
The following suggestions are merely to help you improve on your writing and not to offend you in any way. Feel free to skip these suggestions, if these are not what you aim for.
As I said before your dialogues really drive the story which is a good thing, but I would also suggest you try to add more descriptions to your characters and setting maybe?
This can give your story a more relatable and realistic feel.
For example, think about adding descriptions for how Zero looks like? And how does Nine and Eight? What does this monster look like? How does the air smell, is it sweet, is it bitter? Is there sun that shines inside?
~~~
As I read you explained to Rose, that nine is actually the protagonist and not Zero, which makes sense if you read the title of the novel: Nine.
I do think it’s a little unclear in the first chapter, from this it looks like Zero is the protagonist. But I get that you start off with a side character and later on introduce the main character like a movie
~~~
As Key said, I don’t want to be too repetitive, so that’s all the critique I have for now. Most of the points of improvement, the other five reviewers have already mentioned before me.
Piece of advice: I would suggest you take a look at all of the reviews you got again, and then edit/re-write your work in order to improve it. XD
Overall Feelings:
This is a very nice first chapter, as previous reviewers before me gave a lot of advice already. I tried to search for things you could improve. I hope I helped you a little
Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!
Amazingly yours,
Amaya Statham– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉
Hey there! Thank you so much for requesting a review. I'll try to stick to at least one review per week. Feel free to tag me when you publish the next chapters!
I've skimmed the other reviews for this chapter to make sure I don't just repeat everything someone has said. Briefly, it's an interesting choice to choose a non-main character to start the novel with -- especially someone with a very unique personality and perspective -- but then again, this whole concept gives me anime/manga/visual novel vibes!
There is a lot of character showing for Zero here, which I can appreciate since we get a lot of insight into how he behaves/speaks/acts in the context of the chapter as well as what kind of role he might have in the story. I also find it interesting that Zero's spoken words are not in quotations marks -- it still really does read like a Light Novel with the kind of world-breaking going on, but the vibes are cool.
There's some interesting world-building going on here, with the causal references to large amounts of people dying, which is really sad but Zero takes it so lightly that it's quite surprising but keeps the reader engaged. I am most curious I think about what exactly is the world being discussed. We aren't given much description about anything related to the characters, such as appearances/characteristics, nor are we given many details about whether this is an "Earth" representative or "a vessel" and related ideas.
You've got my interest with this first chapter! I hope to learn some more of what is going on in future entries. Hope this helped some. Onto the next chapter!
-- keystrings
Hey there, Key, thanks for the review! The next chapters up to 4 are already out. I think you can see them on the Related Items, I am not sure however. Anyway, this is the next chapter: I Love Physics! [Ch. II, Nine]
Happy reading! :p
Hello there! This is Orabella, (with the assistance of my bunnies) here to review!
Ooh, a science-fiction novel! You'll have to forgive me, I don't often read sci-fi, so the amount of advice I have may be limited. But so far this is so interesting! I love the sassiness of Agent Zero; you definitely know about his character and the way he behaves.
I do feel like this should have a bit of a rating bump. The addition of the swearing and overall violence present makes it seem like it should be a 12+, maybe 16+?
This is my favorite bit out of all of this so far. You take a cliche opening line, but you twist it in a way that completely changes it, the new beginning being a really cool hook that sucks readers in. Not only that, but it shows your character's personality right from the get-go, describing how the normal setting is boring to him.
The quick transition between a peaceful film with snacks to a monster wrecking a planet with billions of people on it was sudden and definitely not something I was expecting, but if that's what you were going for, then you did it very well! We see more of Zero's character and now we know: billions of people died because he forgot to do something, and his reaction was "meh." A crazy way to exaggerate his character, but a very interesting one nonetheless!
The casual way Zero does things so recklessly is kind of funny, although it's a little concerning that he has so much power. If he has the power to save worlds and destroy monsters, what else can he do? Hoping he'll use it more responsibly in the future, but something tells me he won't...
This sure is an interesting conversation! Definitely not like any I've ever had! Again, the amount of power Zero has is scary. Thirty billion people under his protection? At least Eight cares a little bit, but it's also concerning that he doesn't do anything other than reprimand Zero? Are lives not very important in this story? It's also interesting how you format the story, with Zero's dialogue not being in quotations, and describing things they do with a word or little faces.
(- _ - and "Facepalm". It kind of reminds me of a role-playing style, with *facepalm* or *sighs* or *anything else*) It's not something I've seen in novels before, and it was a bit of a surprise.
Haha, typical teen thinking it's morning when it's actually noon. I'm starting to wonder what the numbers mean and why they're called different numbers? Oh, is it their agent numbers, and it's sorted by how long you've been apart of it? Nine being the newbie, and maybe Zero being there longer than the rest? I can see why they don't like Zero much, though. If he's always so reckless and uncaring, I doubt I'd want to be around him either! But maybe he's more than meets the eye.
Huh, so he's immortal? Is that why he doesn't care much about the lives of all those people? And after the people he cared about died, that's why he doesn't care anymore, isn't it? Because nothing in his universe matters to him anymore?
It's interesting how you use different words from different languages and cultures. Latin in the monster's name and the question, and Sensei when Nine refers to Zero. It's also funny how Zero turns Nine breaking the door into the lesson plan. But also, how did Nine break the door? I guess I'll have to find out in the next chapter, won't I?
Thank you so much for writing and sharing! This was a very interesting and unexpected piece of writing! I can't wait to see you write more and get better and better with each work! That's what writing a lot is, isn't it? Practicing and getting better! Your characters so far are so cool and I can't wait to get to know them more, and I'm excited to see what happens next! Have an amazing day/night, and keep writing! ^^
Thank you so much for the review, Orabella! :p
And yeah, I don%u2019t really think that the rating needs to change - it's just a half-complete word at the end anyways.
P.S.: Thanks to your adorable little bunnies too! :p
Oh yeah, by the way, you can check out the next chapters if you want. :p
Oh yes, I definitely will read the rest! I may or may not have time later today - we'll see.
Hey there! Forever here with a quick review!!
That managed to grab my attention, so yeah, that was definitely a good one.
To start with, that was a really good beginning. "The world is boring" was definitely a fun addition after those typical lines
Talking about the chapter, as a first chapter that does manage to introduce us to a lot of characters and gives a good introduction of Zero's character sketch. The frequent change in tone, pace and style gave more depth to the character. Zero just seems to like doing zero work
Maybe it's only me but "facepalm" just looks better as facepalm(without the quotes).
I kind of find reading stories written in present tense to be confusing but this one did not pose that problem. There were a lot of cool descriptions throughout this whole chapter that did help a lot with the worldbuilding along with the exchange of dialogues.
All in all, that was a really good chapter. Sad that three million humans died though!
Keep Writing!
~Forever
*billion
Anyway, thanks for the review! :p
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is quite the first chapter here. Definitely a lot of very interesting things going down here. OUr main character is certainly quite the figure as well with some questionable morals to boot and an interesting back that up.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm well that is quite the start there. Definitely quite the statement to be making right at the start here. Given the title of the book, that makes things even more interesting so I'd say it comes together nicely to be a pretty intriguing tale here.
Hmm well that is certainly one way to react to what appears to be a pretty large threat there. I love how that does in fact give us a window into what sort of people we're dealing with here for them to take that so lightly.
That is definitely expression to use to defend an excuse. Already creates quite the look here for who this Agent happens to be and what kind of power they must wield here.
Well that does sound like the type of attitude that would get people to hate you. To have such a disregard for life that it comes down to just numbers is definitely not the greatest outlook on something like this.
Well that is quite the flow there. I feel like this dialogue here is a tad bit unrealistic. The jumping from topic to topic is natural enough but I feel like there's a bit too much just information after information without nearly enough filler lines for this to sound natural. It feels like just a couple of lines are missing from this conversation with how things have been phrased there.
Hmm well that's an interesting thought process to dive into immediately. At the moment its a little confusing with how much we have references to characters that we simply don't know about yet, but I think it works out okay for the moment at least because of the fact that it does create a lot of interesting questions here for us to need answers to by reading on further.
Well that was quite the ending. It seems our student for training is going to be pretty entertaining too. Loving that entrance that we witnessed here. I think its quite nicely done and makes for the perfect little line to end this first chapter on there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a pretty good first chapter here I think. It gives us quite a few interesting details about the world and our character and hints at some even more interesting stuff in that backstory. All in all, I think a pretty completely package here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Thank you so much for your review, Kate! I missed your reviews a lot! I plan to answer some of the questions with the following chapters, you might read it, it's decent - if I daresay myself. And yes, Zero here is not the protagonist of our story, he is the overpowered side character with a looming presence everywhere - think Dumbledore but drunk. Again, thanks!
Beyond my beloved rose garden, I spy with my little eye…
Something quite awesome; a chapter of the story titled “It's a Boring World”
Alrighty, no more delays! Let’s put these review skillz into action, shall we?
I. First Things First
Let’s kick off by showering a burst of confetti on those standout parts. Very first of all, I must that I quite enjoyed reading this chapter of yours. The chapter was full of humour, something which I particularly liked. Not to mention, the elements of immortality, the alien attack and the famous friend of the protagonist really brought something interesting to the story.
II. The Door To Improvement
While your story is a fascinating mix of humour, sci-fi elements and a glimpse into the unusual emotions of the protagonist, there are a few aspects on which I'd like offer some suggestions.
Sci-fi isn't always my favourite genre, but your story has something intriguing in it. However, the story introduces some terms such as "Spermati-Somati Saura" and the names of several agents associated with numbers without providing much explanation about it. Perhaps you could consider adding more details about the world that they are living in, the aliens who invaded the planet and the appearances of your character.
In a story such as yours description could do wonders. I have the feeling that the descriptions of their surroundings would definitely add to the layer of intrigue. A teeny tiny idea in that case, perhaps the protagonist could have a balcony that provides a perfect view of their world. And if their world is different than it is now, giving the fact that they are immortal, it could offer a view of destruction (which the aliens could've caused) far away on the horizon, maybe a few planets could also be a in clear sight. You can also grab the chance there to describe the surroundings, the setting.
Furthermore, we get introduced to the Agent Zero, and we learn about his point of view of "the boring world", Leonardo Da Vinci as his friend (which i find just awesome, by the way), and he speaks Latin! That was incredible, I love the incorporation of an old foreign language and that he keeps on asking "what is it?" in such a casual but yet fancy manner
Last but not least, the conflict between Agent Eight and Zero falls a bit short of expectations. Consider adding more depth to the conversation or introduce the consequences of Zero his actions. This could give the reader something to look forward to, and a situation to make theories about and draw conclusions, something intense that'll keep the reader on the edge of their seats. Thereby you could also increase the length of your chapter for a bit.
But of course, do keep in mind, these are only suggestions with the intention of boosting the impact and depth of your story. And the decision of considering them is entirely up to you.
III. Seek Inspiration Beyond
Feel free to check out The Interlude Chapter 4: Crimson Pulse Part 1 and the series of The Lie that Saved the World Chapter 1: The smoke in the forest by @VengefulReaper and for some extra inspiration and ideas to spice up your own storytelling!
And if you're a cinephile, check out the Netflix series The 100!
IV. In A Nutshell
Everything in all and all in everything, your story has a lot of interesting things mixed up in it and it has a lot of potential. I definitely hope to read more
Good luck with your future writing projects!
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With Rose-tinted regards!
Thanks a lot for the review, Rose! Zero is, in fact, not the main character of the novel, it's Agent Nine, the young guy who is loved by Zero. In the next chapter, I will illustrate most of it. Fun fact, Spermati-Somati Saura literally means "Sperm-Somato Lizard" in Latin, the same name Zero used to refer to the alien. The next chapter will have a change in perspective of the narration, so, stay tuned! Thanks again!:p
You're welcome! And thanks for the clarity!