One day Scatty cat was was listening to music dubstep is his favorite. But suddenly there, was northwash who said there was trouble in somewhere. So then scatty cat went there because there was trouble. And there was the the place and inside there was a robbery. But Scatty cat wasn't scared. There were jewels being stolen by a person who was there in the place. But scattycat couldnt tell who it was because they had a mask but he said stop and he didnt stop. Then they battled but scattycat won because he does daily pilates and core strengthening exercizes. Then he took of the ski mask that he had on and he said oh no you got me please. Then scatty cat let him go because he was nice and said nooo haha now you have set me free you almost caught me I am Conckel. Then he went away but was still a legitimate threat to the community and the surrounding suburbs. Then northwash came beck and said good job scatty cat please marry me then scatty cat said thats illegal so they didn't get married.
THE END
First off, "Music dubstep is his favorite" is not proper grammar. You need to put a comma, then which to complete the sentence. Also you put "the" twice in the fourth sentence. Also you never give any information about the seene of the robbery. You simply keep calling it the place. The are a lot of errors here, but I think you'll do better next time.
Hello Swag back for a review, I hope it helps you out buddy because I am a bit rusty on reviews.
OK first I don't think that Scatty cat is a good name what you could do is have him have a name the even he did not know about.
OK here
OK you could say "he was listing to his favorite music called dubstep" instead of what you wrote it was like you were just randomly saying that he liked that music.One day Scatty cat was was listening to music dubstep is his favorite. But suddenly there, was northwash who said there was trouble in somewhere.
OK here you said this totally wrong I think you should have said it like this "Scatty cat got up and whent to see what the trouble was.So then scatty cat went there because there was trouble. And there was the the place and inside there was a robbery.
here you should not have writing the "BUT! Scatty cat was not scared." I think you should just say "Scatty cat was not scared at all." but before that I think you should say some reason for him not to be scared "like a bullet wised by and hit a car every one jumped back but Scatty cat was not scared.But Scatty cat wasn't scared.
See maybe you could say "There were some men in black with masks taking someones jewels and money." But it does not have to just like that.There were jewels being stolen by a person who was there in the place.
See it just does not make sense the "Battled" should be turned into fought and you misspelled "exercizes" it should be spelled "Exercises".Then they battled but scattycat won because he does daily pilates and core strengthening exercizes
OK this does not make sense at all you should read it over and make sure that there are no more of these kind of mistakes.Then he took of the ski mask that he had on and he said oh no you got me please. Then scatty cat let him go because he was nice and said nooo haha now you have set me free you almost caught me I am Conckel.
Next why would it be "illegal"?Then northwash came beck and said good job scatty cat please marry me then scatty cat said thats illegal so they didn't get married.
Okay...
One thing I would like to point out is the spelling of exercises in "...Then they battled but scattycat won because he does daily pilates and core strengthening exercizes..." but if that was how you originally wanted it to be then ignore this part of the comment.
I recommend the usage of quotation marks and creating conversations that might improve the story.
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