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Scatty Cat: Friends in Need

by Swagmonkey

One day Northwash came in to Say Scatty Cat the foster home is burning down but Scattycat was too busy playing blackjack with hookers to even give a whoot. But northwash was like scattycat plz youre the only one who can help the orphans also we talked about the hookers before. (So scattycat went) but he didn't want to. Go home scattycat, you're drunk, but then he found out it really was on fire so he decided he would help the orphans after he won blackjack. So Northwash saved the orphans instead but forgot little Mary Ann Lou inside who got radiation poisoning from the fire and became superman. "But," Scattycat was like mmmmmwhocares and Northwash said snap out of it go to rehab/so he did and everything turned out okay except for Mary Ann Lou cause her face melted off.


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241 Reviews

Points: 286
Reviews: 241

Sun May 26, 2013 5:04 pm
Jonathan wrote a review...

Hello Swag. Jordin here with a review for you and my team so called team hot sauce.

I sure hope this helps you out buddy.

Okay in this chapter you did good but you still have some mistakes such as "Please" You wrote "Plz" and "you're" you wrote "youre" and that is it but you do need to capitalize names.

Mary Ann Lou cause her face melted off.
Cause should be cut out of here.

You have a interesting idea of this story.

This is a very bad way to end a story a very very very bad way but you can do it like this it you really want to.

Good job overall interesting ideas.

Keep calm review write read and have some good luck.

Hope this helped you out swag.

~Jon~ :pirate3:

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29 Reviews

Points: 1147
Reviews: 29

Sat May 11, 2013 6:37 am
recycledsoul says...

what did I just read? Hah. Well anyway if I had to point out something I would point you to the lack of proper punctuation. Some other minor mistakes like plz?! That's just wrong :P and you are or you're instead of just youre. Enjoyed it.

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33 Reviews

Points: 283
Reviews: 33

Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:48 am
davidechoe13 wrote a review...

I really thought this was kind of funny but i actually wouldn't mind seeing this evolve into a real story, i think it has potential. Be sure and watch how you do your characters talking be sure and use " when needed, also don't use texting abbreviations such as plz, please. I also don't understand your reason for the / on the last line and also on the last line you might want to work on it some and this is just me but i would do it like:
so he did and everything turned out okay except for Mary Ann Lou because her face got melted off.
Ps. I'm wondering... Does Mary Lou come back as an evil super villain?

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Swagmonkey says...

I am appreciate your gracious reveiw, comrad. Please to be thx.

Writing is the geometry of the soul.
— Plato