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E - Everyone

School

by SuperOriginalName


School

~~~

Learning is an odd thing to do.

You walk in, not knowing a clue.

But no matter how hard you try,

No matter how much you weep,

After the five days of school are over,

You have to survive another week.

~

School is where the most people learn,

But for some, it's a great concern.

You have so many papers,

So many applications,

So much homework,

That the stress turns to procrastination.

~

When you wait, you don't get things done.

Well, it's a normal thing for some.

This is a poem about learning,

This is a poem about stress,

This is a poem about conquerors,

I just haven't gotten to that part yet.

~

Even though things are difficult,

And you want to flee as a result,

Others have gone through the effort,

They got through the work,

They got through the trials,

So I know you can do it with a smirk

~~~


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111 Reviews


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Fri Dec 27, 2019 5:57 am
tgham99 wrote a review...



As others have mentioned, perhaps upping your word choice/vocabulary would make the poem a bit stronger, but it's definitely very relatable, especially when the stress of going back to school starts settling in after the holidays! I enjoyed the consistent rhyme scheme (though that may be a personal preference. I want to commend you for the repetition that takes place in all three stanzas -- "so", "this is", and "they got" captured my attention through what I assume is the intentional implementation of assonance. Just a tiny grammatical comment -- a period is missing from the very last line of the poem but aside from that, I think it's great that you're getting back into writing and holiday break is the perfect time to do so. :)






Thank you, @tgham99 for the wonderful review.
I do realize that I need to expand my word choice a bit more, and now I do see the small grammar error at the end of the literary piece. This will (hopefully) not happen again in the future.
Again, thank you, and happy holidays!

~@SuperOriginalName



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264 Reviews


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Sun Dec 22, 2019 11:52 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



Hello, OgName! I'm going to call you that, if that's OK with you, ;)
Honestly, this poem was SUPER relatable! It's honestly like you know me! I especially related to the line, "After the five days are over, you have to survive another week." I've thought stuff like this all the time! Also, while we're on the subject of this particular part, I just loved how you phrased it! I always love reading well written words, and those are consistent throughout the piece! So great job on that!
A few things I did notice in the last line, "So I know you can do it with a smirk" First, you forgot a period at the end of the line, which is inconsistent with the last few stanzas. Also, one little nitpick, I think the word 'smirk' doesn't really fit in the context of your poem. It does rhyme with work, but I think some better words would be 'Grin' or 'smile' But that's just a small nitpick.
One other thing, I noticed that the rhyming scheme wasn't consistent, (Eat a cookie every time I say 'consistent') Might want to be something you look into.
Other than that, I love how you phrased the stuff in this poem! It's relatable, the spelling and grammar is on point, and I love, love, love the message! So, virtual high five! Hope you have a great day, and a Merry Christmas!






Thank you, @Horisun! Of course, you may call me whatever you'd like, I don't really mind.
Anyway, I would like to inform you that I am exploring new rhythms, so of course they are not going to be perfect, nor the rhymes. However, that is no excuse, and I will look into it.
Also, I definitely need to work on word choice, so thanks for the reminder.
Well, merry Christmas!
~@SuperOriginalName



Horisun says...


Merry Christmas!



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Points: 9
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Sun Dec 22, 2019 2:18 am
brookeallo wrote a review...



I loved this poem half of cause I really feel this poem since I'm still in school. There were a few grammar mistakes including capitalizing all the lines ever the ones just after a comma. In the first line of the second stanza I would take out them, "the." The poem had a good flow to it and semi-rhyming that made it really cool to read. I kind of wish that the ending was just a little stronger maybe like a stronger bit of encourgaement.






Thanks for the review! It was very helpful. I will work on stronger words, a good ending, and capitalization.
I will check out some of you literary pieces as well! I can't wait!


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brookeallo says...


no problem. Thankyou!



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Sat Dec 21, 2019 7:05 pm
stinasobi wrote a review...



Lol it's not that bad, I adore the structure u use bc ik it can be hard to make it look so nice, like wow it's amazing. And the idea is definitely relatable, as well as the details and points in the poem, like surving week after week, and knowing u can get through it bc others have as well. One thing that I think needs work though were some of ur lines, like "for some it's a great concern," and I was confused on who exactly it was a big concern for, and one big one was "this poem is about conquerors," like I really don't know what you meant there lol. But one line I reeealllyyy liked was "the stress turns to procrastination, like Yes! That is so true!!

Overall, and especially as a you're person recently returning to writing, I enjoyed this poem very much, and I can't wait to see how ur writing improves as u get back into it!!






Thank you so much! May I help you understand a bit?
The part "for some it's a great concern", I am specifically speaking of people who are stressed out from school, and things like that.
Also, for the part that says "this is a poem about conquerors", if you read the line after that, it might make a bit more sense to you.
Again, thanks for the review!



stinasobi says...


Yeah np sorry I didn't understand





Don't be sorry!



stinasobi says...


Lol ok ahha



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Sat Dec 21, 2019 3:54 pm



Yes, I know this is a very bad poem. It's very sappy and weird, but I haven't gotten a lot of practice lately. I haven't written for months, mainly because of school. You can review if you want, I really need the tips to get back on my feet with poetry.
Thanks!

-@SuperOriginalName




Horisun says...


There is no such thing as a 'bad' poem, just as there is no such thing as a 'perfect' poem. Everyone has room to improve. No matter if you're Charles Dickens level of awesome, or a child picking up a pen, we can all learn and grow.



Horisun says...


Oh no, now I'm being sappy and weird, lol! :D







Once I had asked God for one extra or two extra inches in height but instead he made me as tall as the sky, so high that I could not measure myself.
— Malala