Savior

by StreetRat

Published May 18, 2012

In Poetry

Your scent?
Addicting.
My thoughts?
Conflicting.
Your eyes?
Enticing.
Your heart?
All icing.
Your words?
Confusing.
Our hearts
are fusing.
I need
major help.
I can't
save myself.
Comments & reviews · 1
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LadyFreeWill
Review
LadyFreeWill wrote a review Review · Jun 24, 2012

Alrighty there. Hello! I found this poem to be really nice. It's simple, which is refreshing, and you still manage to get some emotion and point across. HOWEVER, the last four lines are a little 'iffy', you might say. I realise there's only so much -ing words you can use, but breaking the rhyming scheme sort of breaks the spell as well. Then again, there isn't much I can suggest for you to substitute it with, so it works good enough as an ending. My favorite lines are "Our hearts/are fusing". I really like how you broke out of the question-answer pattern like that. :)
Overall, great poem!



The necessary beauty in life is in giving yourself to it completely, only later will it clarify itself and become coherent.
— Richard Linklater