Angel's Feather ch.4

by Stori

Published November 15, 2007

In 2007 Work

I kept chatting for a while. Wes (WD40) didn't have much to say, so he logged out. The rest of the session went something like this.

Monica: So what's up? Feeling better?

Me: I'm fine, thanks.

Sara: Heard you were out for 3 hours. What happened?

Me: Idk. I got this massive headache all of a sudden.

Sara: ouch.

Monica: no kidding.

Kel132 has entered.

Me: Hi kel.

Kel132: what up brother?

Me: Not much.

You get the idea. I finally logged out and headed to dinner. There are some perks to living here.

As usual, the meal was excellent. Wes made small talk, while I pretended I wasn't listening.

Then he dropped the bomb. "I hear Monica is gonna talk to her folks about boarding. Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Really? That's great!"

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Swirl Antara
Review
Swirl Antara wrote a review Review · Nov 16, 2007

First, this is very short for a chapter. You could combine the 3&4 to make one chapter, and just put the persons name when its from their perspective.
ex. Swirl
I sat at my computer and posted my review.


Kyte
I logged into YWS and saw that Swirl had posted on my story.

get it?

ok also,

you get the idea

it feels like the protaganist is talking to the readers. none of the other chapters had it this way (not that i remember anyway) so you shouldnt change the context of how the story is being told.

you should also tell us how ben feels about monica boarding

PM me with ?/comments

User avatar
Kim
Review
Kim wrote a review Review · Nov 16, 2007

now that i have read chapters 1-3, this makes more sense.

i like the chat room set up. its different. i wish this chapter had more in it. you have my interest going, and now i have to wait for the next chapter. lol

great job, please let me know when you post the next chapter. i would love to read it.

kim

User avatar
SeraphTree
Review
SeraphTree wrote a review Review · Nov 16, 2007

Hmmm... We don't have very many details to go off of. The hit of her going to boarding school doesn't really hit us because of it. :( Oh, what is Monica feeling and thinking throughout all this? We need to be in her head more :) That's all I can see. :D:D:D:D:D



By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.
— Genesis 3:19