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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Socialsuicide this was a great poem
. The only thing is the structure but that doesn't really bother me. The use of adjectives was amazing. It flowed really well at it was really well written. I hope to see more from you soon 
~MindBlown
No time to review, but this was lovely and eloquent. I didn't even mind the lack of a traditional structure; I found it just flowed off the page. Keep it up
Thanks lovely(:
Hmmm thought provoking and very smooth! Lovely just truly....I can feel the poem definatley! However,poem, not really. It would make a super song if you add a guitar and accent the rhyming in the vocals for they appear to be spaced just so that they would be even and easy to remember. Prehaps a nice base drum in the back and strained toward the end of the poem/song. NOTE! I am in NO WAY being sarcastic or rude! I am a band geek
to be honest and am dead serious, I have tried to write a song and I am awful at it so I stick to poetry that is whay this is so amazing. If I were you I would try to make it a little longer, give it a tune, and make it a kind of melody. Not kidding.
But if you have your heart set on making it a poem, lovelysayshi has some great tips and I? believe formatting is the main issue here.
Epic!
~Speakerskat
Hmmm, I never thought that I would be any good at poems or songs. I like the idea, but sadly I don't play anything. ): As always though I thank you for the review, now I have a different look at my work.
Okay, so here are a few things that concerned me:
1. It's not in a poetic form, poems have stanzas and lines, but most importantly stanzas. All I see is a blob of words. Although the words have a deep meaning, they are not shaped correctly. Concrete poems are not the only one's that take shape, any poem does.
2. It seems as if all you were aiming for were rhyming words, like, what is this poem about? I don't understand. For example, "people stop and stare, sometimes they ask me to share" what? What do they want you to share? What does sharing have to do with stopping and staring anyway? I am really not trying to sound harsh, but there is no meaning to it, I honestly think you were just trying to make it rhyme.
3. Woah, buddy! Throughout the entire poem you used "I" except for one time. You said "Why won't I let somebody see my tears and all the things that YOU call fears?" Okay.....who is you? Why is you in this poem? It is about ONE person...yet, you mentioned someone else. It is kind of confusing, but needless to say I really like that line.
That's it, I thought this poem was pretty good over all. It was a decent read, and I am sure you have tons of writing that is better than this; it is obvious that you are a good writer.
Toodles.
I understand about the stanzas, but I wasn't really sure how to go about that for this poem so that is why I left it be. The stop and share line is mostly saying that people notice when she is upset and some ask her if she was alright. Just trying to explain so as not to be confused. As for the you thing I meant as in the world. The fact that you bring them up means I have work to do and I thank you for the review.
Wooah.....that's an epic poem!!!!!!!! Great job!:) ''Hear me'' is a nice title.
Which is utter awesome!!!!! haha Looking forward to seeing more of your writing!!! 
:):) -Neonmask 
I know that everyone already wrote about how poem's are usually in stanzas, but, I mean, I noticed that- but it's still a poem!! Even if it is written in a paragraph instead...the meaning is still the same.
My favorite part is where you wrote,''I don't know why or when or how,but I'm trying hard to be different now.''
I like to write rhyming poems (and non-rhyming poems ..hehe) but I find that It is hard to write a rhyming poem while still making sure it has an effect on people and has an understandable, clear, meaning...but you have a amazing talent because your poem was rhyming, perfectly understandable, clear, and had a, (obviously) good affect on your readers!!
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much.
There is a beauty in the simplicity of this poem, great job.
Thank you! That's kind of what I was aiming for.
First of all, is this supposed to be a poem? If it is than it should be written in stanzas, not a single paragraph. It's just the way poems work. Most poems have their ups and downs. And this one isn't that bad. Their is some punctuation mistakes but the poem itself is fine. Also there are no forced rhymes which is good.
All and all. The poem is not that bad, as I have said before. Keep up the good work!
Thank you. I wasn't really sure how to make the stanza for this poem, so I kind of left it be. I know better next time. XD
Well, firstly, it was a good poem...had it ups and downs. But the truth is, you could have made it all...in order. To make it in a bit of an orderly way would make the reading a bit fun and quite easy since the ideas could be separated easily.But anyway, well written, not the best...but also not the worst...sorry if am a lil harsh
I don't understand what you mean when you say order. I'm sorry, but can you explain?
Helllo there I am here for a review I really hope that it helps you out sorry if I am a little harsh but I don know maybe I won't be you are to decide.
A here "Just not THE day" the day for what? when who ha this is very un clear maybe you meant it like this "Claiming that today is just another normal day?" Well that is just a suggestion.Well if that is in fact a question I would say strong because to keep feelings back is one of the hardest in my life.
Okay this here sounds a lot like a piece of poetry the rimes and such if it is then you need to do it like poetry just go around and see for your self what I mean.
Overall this was great is sounded good and was good so good job and never stop writing.
Keep writing and good luck. (Practice makes perfect.)
~Jon~
Sorry about the quotes YWS is doing this a lot know so sorry.
Wow! This poem was one of the best I have ever read! My heart stopped while reading, it was that good. Keep up the really good work!
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