Snow: The Tale of A Cold Heart (Part VIII)

by Snowery

Published June 16, 2014

16+ Violence

In Snow: The Tale of A Cold Heart

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Eh, a really, really shoddy chapter. It's terribly boring but kind of necessary and I really just wanted to get something out :/


There were so many eyes.

All of them were staring at him and all of them were expecting to see answers. Eleven out of the twelve Architects sat around the oblong meeting table. Balthazar sat at it's head, staring back at each of them, daring them to challenge his word.

“Sire, the snow season is now upon us. The farmers are struggling to feed Liandor as it is, if we go to war now the burden will increase immeasurably.” The speaker was Haldon, Architect of the Land, the Keeper of the Crops. Stress and worry was etched all over his worn face, and rightly so. It mustn't be easy trying to feed an entire nation.

“We have the stores, isn't this what they are for? To feed us in times of need?” Balthazar replied. “Also, we can always buy food from Nordyire, they are always willing to trade for gems.”

“Sire!” cried Druin, the Architect of Stone. “You can't expect the mines to produce more than it already does! Especially once the war starts, many of the workers will go to join the army.”

Balthazar gave an irritable sigh. “Then we will bring in more workers from Rissen, they always complain that they need more jobs.”

“And what will we give them?” asked Druin.

“We will give them food,” he replied.

“Sire, we have no food to spare!” exclaimed the Architect of the Land.

“Sire, we are still stinging from the war with Rissen, wood for carving is low on supply.” jutted in the Architect of Wood.

“Sire! All this war is bad for business!” lamented the Architect of the Coin. “The merchants are still crying for their losses from the war with Rissen. Our treasury is low, I don't know if we have enough to fund another-”

“ENOUGH!”

Silence fell faster than a twenty tonne boulder. Balthazar was standing now, and staring down at his squabbling council. He could feel a vein throbbing violently on his neck and a heat within his chest. No one moved. No one said a word. All of them were staring at him.

“Listen now and listen well. When I say that we are going to war, you do not question me. You do not argue with me. You simply do as I say. Is that too difficult to comprehend?” He looked around the table and into each and everyone's eyes. There were many mindless nods and most had an expression of utter fear.

Any word on the tower clocks?”

The Architects glanced at each other, before Druin spoke up, “None of them work. All the time keepers jumped from their clocks, so they're all still frozen at the Averence's time of death.”

There's chaos everywhere.” The Architect of Justice shook his head in frustration. “People aren't showing up to work on time, store hours are being affected, meetings and appointments are difficult to make and keep. The people have come to rely on these tower clocks and now that they don't work they don't know what to do.”

Balthazar gritted his teeth, “How about apprentices? Some of them must have been close to graduating.”

The Architect of War shook his head. “Some of the apprentices close to graduating have jumped fro the clocks too, and even the ones who didn't, claim that the last secret of the tower clocks died with the keepers.”

Balthazar sighed, “So none of them are operating.” He thumped his desk with his palm. “If we don't get them working soon the people may become suspicious, they may even stop believing that Tallon's death was because of illness. I need the heir.”

What if we don't find her, Sire?” asked the Architect of Wood.

Then we say that the illness has claimed her and her brother's life as well. Meanwhile, we need another way to communicate time to the people.”

We've thought about that sire. We've decided that the best way is is to have a bell toll every hour. The bell ringer in every town shall be given a sundial from which to determine the time.” Druin had just finished speaking when the council doors were thrown open. Everyone turned to face the cause of disruption, and a be-straggled looking man stumbled into the hall and fell to his knees.

Balthazar frowned, what was Edrian doing here?

Sire, please!” he cried. “My family have done nothing! Please, let them go!”

Oh, that's why.

Get out Edrian.”

Please sire! My wife! My children! They have done nothing!” His voice cracked and and he started to sob.

Balthazar sighed irritably, this day was getting worse and worse.

You are disrupting a council in progress. Leave.” he said quietly. The guards were already grabbing him by the arms and were dragging him out of the building.

Please, Sire! Please! My family! Plea-”

His wailing and crying could still be heard well after he had been removed, and now many of the Architects were looking uncomfortable.

Druin, your plan seems sound. Begin putting it in place immediately.” He turned to leave. “Let's end this for the day. It'll give us some time to make... preparations for the impending war.”


***

Balthazar had only just entered his study when there was a knock his door.

He moved around his desk and sat down. “Enter,” he growled.

A silk-masked Illyari entered and bowed. “Sire.”

Congratulations on your promotion Rienden,” Balthazar shuffled some papers on his desk. They were a recent invention, but one that he was thankful for. Writing on parchment had been such a pain.

The man inclined his head, “I am honoured that you chose me, Sire.”

For good reason too. I'm sure you will serve me well. You've heard what happened to Edrian?”

Yes, Sire. I will not fail you.”

Good,” Balthazar looked up at him. “So what do you want?”

I have a development on the heir, Sire.”

What is it?”

One of my men says that an old farmer reported seeing two boys heading towards Nordyire, one with... strangely pink eyes.”

Nordyire,” muttered Balthazar, almost to himself, “of course they would go there. It's one of the free countries.”

Yes, I've also been hearing reports of two boys staying for a month at Daston, before suddenly leaving soon after the Averence's death.”

Daston?” A thoughtful expression crossed Balthazar's face.

Yes, I heard that-”

Silence, I'm thinking.” Balthazar closed his eyes for a moment, why was that name so familiar? Daston...

Markus. Of course, Markus was one of his retired Illyari, who had been... one of the men that had trained Gareth.

Of course! Fool!

Rienden!” he barked.

Yes, sire.”

I want you to send men to Daston. Order them to find and kill a man called Markus. Interrogate his neighbours, and see what you can find out about the heir and her Shield.”

Why not interrogate Markus...?”

Because,” said Balthazar, “Markus was an Illyari.”

Rienden nodded, “I see, we'll get nothing out of him.”

Go now,” he commanded. Rienden bowed and took his leave.

Of course he took them to Daston, thought Balthazar, I've been such a fool not to have seen this all along. Of course, Gareth would take them to one of the men that had trained him.

“Reinden, wait!”

The Illyari turned around, “Yes, Sire?”

“Cease the search for Gareth's daughter, we can't afford to waste anymore resources on her.”

“Yes, Sire.”

Balthazar thought for a minute, “Also, tell the other Illyari that she has been found and killed.”

Rienden bowed. “Yes, Sire.”

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Alchemist
Review
Alchemist wrote a review Review · Jul 23, 2014

Heya Silveryyy awesomeness! I'm finally here.

Your main 'villian' is pretty cool. He is a strong, ruthless ruler, who knows what he wants and what's he doing. I'm actually not completely sure he is a villian at all. This is my assumption: he actually stumbled to something great, and information giving him a reason to vage war. Wasn't he a Tallon's friend prior to the beginning? That alone means he's not a bad guy and well, that something happened. Or he is maybe controlled by somewhat or something? No idea if i stumbled upon anything, but I think it's usual to let you know what I may see as the future of the story from this point.

I also think that he is absolutely certain he will win this war, or has a sure battle tactis prepared, since he just tossed all the cons away without a problem. And these architects know what they are talking about.

Nice detail to have architect as an important political spot.

Concerning the style, you know I think yours is rather good, I don't think there is much to improve. I like your vocabulary and namings, names are also a big part of a fantasy story.

One thing, the second part was somewhat strange to me. Balthazar seems like a pretty smart guy, but him overlooking Markus was strange. Since his top priority is finding the heir, shouldn't have it stumbled across his mind earlier?

All right, one small nitpick. "Balthazar frowned, what was Edrian doing here?" I believe you overlooked this, either put the point instead of a comma or well you could put the 2nd thought into itallics.

Cheers, I will come for the rest during the review day! :D

-Alchemist

Alchy!! Thank you for your review! :D I'm really loving your thoughts about Balthazar! You're really getting the feeling I'm trying to convey! Thank you again! :)

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Jun 21, 2014

Hai Silver!

I'm all caught up, yay! That means I get to be notified for the next chapter as well *for some reason sees this as some kind of reward* Okay... on to the review xD

I really have next to nothing to say about this chapter. You've kind of ticked all the boxes really... you managed to show us how Balthazar isn't really thinking for the people, more so because he wants more power. I am assuming this is why he wants the war? Maybe be a bit more specific as to his reasons, but other than that, there is nothing more I could ask for. You demonstrate how he thinks everyone will just have to cope with another war even though the country is currently in a pitiful situation and everything. Good job. Just two little things I am still confused about...

All the time keepers jumped from their clocks


I still don't understand why they did that, and by now I feel like I should have some sort of explanation. Are they jumping out of loyalty, or a pact they have to stick to because of their line of work? I am so confused, and although I see how the time stopping is a major problem, I don't see why Balthzaar cares over all the others things that seem to be going wrong in his lands though. How about mentioning, other than things being out of order, why the clocktowers are so importan?

Markus was an Illyari


Although the servant might understand why this is a good reason to have Markus killed, we don't! Why does that have anything to do with him not being interrogated? We want to know!

Sorry for this being so short, but really there was nothing more to say. Keep up the awesome writing and let me know when you've posted more!

Deanie x

Snowery replied · Jul 3, 2014

Deanie! You're all caught up! *Throws silvery glitter*
Most of your questions will be answered in subsequent chapters. With the Markus thing though, I like to "imply" things. It usually builds up on info that I've dropped in other chapters. Hopefully it's not too subtle?
Thank you for your wonderful review!

User avatar
birk
Review
birk wrote a review Review · Jun 16, 2014

Hey Silver!

You've got another chapter going on, that's awesome! In this one we return to a character that has only had one POV so far, so it was definately about time.

Well, I really like the Balthazar character, and I like a lot of the things you do in this chapter. You make him seem like a real villain, all good stories have that. You also bring in some nice, though leveled, politics into the mix, which adds some to the world you are convincing me of.

It's really interesting to return to this character. There's been a while now without him making an appearance and I love how everyone seems to get their turn. I can almost predict who is next. I found it very nice that even though you wrote his last POV chapter quite a while ago, last year in fact, you still tie all the small things together. I loved that you mentioned Edrian, as well as his family again.

I'm also really intrigued by this new character, Rienden. I hope he sticks around and does badass things.

There were a lot of other new characters, namely the ones attending Balthazar's council. They were okay and they add some more to the story and Balthazar's viewpoint. However, I'm not all onboard with the whole 'Architect of X' and 'Architect of Y' etc. They felt a bit silly after a while. Would they even have such positions? We don't know that much about the political background of this, but that's okay, it's not what it's about. I just found the titles weird. ;)

Alright, I'll write as I go along:

Suggestion

All of them were staring at him and all of them were expecting to get answers.
I'd use 'get answers' instead of 'see answers'.

Eleven out of the twelve Architects sat

Ahh, because Tallon was the twelfth one. Neat!

I'm thinking though. Tallon seemed to have a lot of power and could put up a little fight. Does any of these other 'Architects' command any such power or respect? Tallon seemed to be a pretty mindfull guy and took a stand, which now hurts the Emperor a lot. Should Balthazar really demean these guys this much?

Edit
Balthazar sat at its head, staring back

I actually think I went over this in another one of your works.
But I'll hammer in another one:

It's - It is
Its - Possessive

“Sire, we are still stinging from the war with Rissen, wood for carving is low on supply.” jutted in the Architect of Wood.
They are talking about low food supplies. Why is this guy bothering them with his views on lack of wood and viable forests?

Actually, this got me smirking. Could you possibly add in an 'Architect of Destruction'? The HIMYM fan in me would love that. :D

Edit
Some of the apprentices close to graduating have jumped from the clocks too
Well, I'm finding it a bit hard to believe that all the time keepers jumped to their deaths. But apparently, even a lot of the apprentices did too? Damn, these guys are dedicated.

Edit
the best way is is to have a bell toll


The bell ringer in every town shall be given a sundial

They all seem very useless when these bell towers aren't around. Anyhow, why didn't the bell ringers jump to their deaths? Cop-outs?

You write the dialogue very well within this chapter, and though I might tone down the Emperor's harshness, I find the council done quite good. I love the few snippets of thoughts we get from Balthazar as well. You give him a good voice.

Suggestion
It'll give us some time to make preperations... for the impending war.”
I think giving him a pause after preperations instead of before sounds a lot better.

“Congratulations on your promotion Rienden,”

Alright, new character is introduced. I already said this, but I like him, somehow. Without knowing much about him. Good name too.

You've heard what happened to Edrian?”

What does this mean? Is he dead? Or just his family? I actually hope he's still around in some capacity to make enact some sort of revenge against Balthazar. Maybe he teams up with our young heroes?

Markus. Of course,

Good! You also remembered to deal with Markus. You're tying up a lot of loose ends here.

about the heir and her Shield.”

Her shield? What is he talking about? They are looking for her and the brother, right? Did he just assume that he had sort of taken the position of her shield?

Rienden nodded, “I see, we'll get nothing out of him.”

I really like this. It tells you a lot about both Markus and the Illyari, despite not relaying much information.

Edit
Rienden, wait!”

Spelled his name wrong, yo!

So he's ceasing the search for Lia, she just got a whole lot safer. Bad news for Tallon and Alitha though.

Alright, that's pretty much all I can comment on in this chapter. What was shoddy about it? This was quite good. Your opinions are shoddy!

As I read through it, I'm actually thinking of what might happen in the future. It has my attention quite firmly, that's a good sign. Lastly; we need more Jeff. He can contribute in many ways. ;)

Keep it up, Silver!


Cheers
Birkhoff

Deanie replied · Jun 16, 2014

Man, do you respond review quickly :P

Snowery replied · Jul 3, 2014

Birky, you always make me smile :D
Architects are basically they're term for ministers. :D And the Shield thing was mentioned in Tallon's flashback in Part V, it's an official position for the closest male kin of the Averence to act as the Shield.
Anyway thank you for another awesome review! :D

User avatar
KayKayKoala
Review
KayKayKoala wrote a review Review · Jun 16, 2014

Hi!
KayKayKoala is here to review

I think this is a really good!
You should try and get this published
I am sure everyone would agree that this is good.
I don't know how many times I can say that this is good
This is good
Haha sorry I'm done now

Anyway, you should try to publish this
after you add on to it of course
Or try to get it published as a short story!

Best of luck!

Snowery replied · Jul 3, 2014

Thank you Kaykay :)



If you are tired remember it's a sign that you haven't expired
— fatherfig