a spray of red and gold
red as the embers of a forest fire
and the petals of a wilting rose,
she was as green as the ocean under a brilliant sun,
and quick as a falling star.
and natural as the in-and-out of an ocean's waves,
a spray of red and gold, and then molten stone,
as steam and mist rose high
from the mountain's peak; the signal for a coming storm.
her grace fluttered high and low, twisted and turned
without a care, and danced just out of her reach
--like angels on brand new wings.
while shadows thick as her skin hid the moon
behind the clouds, and the stars, a scattering
of dull lights, beyond the reach
of even the mightiest birds.
and the things-that-go-bump-in-the-night
crept forth and back in order to cause a stir,
a fright, a sudden shudder.
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141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
Hi Felistia here with a short review.
I love your work, it is so descriptive. This one is all over the place story wise, but wow it is beautiful. So many great pictures and the words you use are perfect. The colours you use are vibrant and every single line paints a different world. I love how you described the sea. Please post more poems. Have a great day\night.
It works for the randomness. its a challenge i wouldn't accept. just seems like too much work but you did brilliantly. you really made the image clear and the description works wonders in that order. if you had done it in any other way it wouldn't have made it seen right. good work.
Very nice picture you painted here. It flows nicely, but i found it hard to keep up. Some of the colors in scenes dont add up, maybe its just me. I like it though, i find myself always wanting to write a story to match with poems I read, and this is one of them.
Hello! I liked the flow and words in this poem. The use of metaphors/similes paint a picture in your mind and I loved the picture I got. The only thing is the last stanza made no sense to me. I'm sorry but I was lost while reading it, maybe rewording it would help but for me a different ending would make more sense. Other then that it was a beautiful poem and I can't wait to read more from you!