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I listen to audiobooks.

by Satira


I like to listen to audiobooks, because I miss hearing people speak to me.

I miss when we could skip the halting questions, 

and the... awkward pauses. 

*

I like hearing someone talk to me,

not needing any input, 

and yet, always wanting, needing to be heard. 

*

I miss the life stories of friends,

that could be wrapped up in one huge breath. 

I miss them needing me.

*

But instead,

I buy perfect, printed scripts for $16.95

on iTunes.

*

And I listen to the stories those people have to tell,

over and over, for hours on end.

I guess I'm okay with that for now.


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30 Reviews

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Fri Jan 09, 2015 2:09 am
musicandme wrote a review...



Haha, this is not a sad poem as you put it! I actually find it a bit amusing. And... A bit longing at the same time and I think that's a part of why I like it. One comment, people have probably troubled you about your asterisks in between, but indonthat too with different things for th spacing because it's messed up on YWS so don't sweat it. I really didn't find grammar errors at all so props to you.

I think this poem is nest because it has two sides like I stated I got from it. Funny and lonely. Antonyms. I think that's what makes poems so mysterious and meaningful is that you can out things together to mean something deep, but still have that essence of "awe". I really, again, like this poem for that. It also though speaks of stories, perhaps, I percieve in my world, missing simple things like bedtime stories. Missing being young and simple. Lonely from the past, lonely from he future. Again this has mixed meanings, I like it.

So overall, this is a lovely poem I enjoyed. You did a great job and I really want to her more poems of yours. I'm looking forward to see what you come up with!

~ Music




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Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:30 pm
ChipsMcCoy wrote a review...



Hello, Chips here with a review!

Firstly congratulations on getting featured, it was well deserved. I really, liked this poem, its seems like a topic many people could relate with and it appears to be quite a personal and poignant piece of poetry. The title was interesting as it was intriguing, it drew the reader in to desire to know more.

I'll review this stanza by stanza.

"I like to listen to audiobooks, because I miss hearing people speak to me.
I miss when we could skip the halting questions,
and the... awkward pauses."

The first line here was a little long compared to your other stanzas, which have the same uniform ending. I felt the first line could have been phrased in a less direct way as in poetry its better to show rather than tell. But it's an alright line. I really like the effect of the ellipses you used here to create emphasis, it fit well with the tone.


"I miss the life stories of friends,
that could be wrapped up in one huge breath.
I miss them needing me."

I felt like this stanza is a reality for many people and it was conveyed in a clear and simple way. The use of italics was good, though italics do have a risk of being overused so perhaps using more powerful words in your vocabulary which really create effective imagery for the reader to garner more emotion.

"But instead,
I buy perfect, printed scripts for $16.95
on iTunes."

Loved these lines.

"I guess I'm okay with that for now."

I thought this line was a weak final one in comparison to the rest of the poem, the ending would be even better if it ended with a statement which really makes the reader think or ponder.

Overall, good job. I hope this review helped.

--Chips




Satira says...


thank you for taking this seriously! like, actually reviewing it. it's really helpful, so i'm glad you're here. And your review was good. like, it pointed out some actual things. You're right about that last line.
I'm probably not going to change anything because I write poems in like, ten minutes on a 'feeling', and if I try to edit it, the 'feeling' isn't there anymore, and the magic is gone and I completely screw it up. But to your credit, you're totally right about pretty much everything.



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Sat Jan 03, 2015 7:23 pm
TaliaSankEden wrote a review...



Satira,

You've got something special here. It appeals to the right emotions. I think that certain people that read this might be a bit put off or at the very least confused by the idea of someone purchasing audiobooks simply to be spoken to, but those who have lived loneliness understand this piece wholeheartedly. In that way, I think you have a really clear audience here, and I think that is a very good thing. I personally love specificity like that.

I think overall the voice and tone was very, for lack of a better word, unpoetic. Before I offend you, let me tell you that the simplicity of language and avoidance of anything too flowery really adds to the lonely emotion of the entire thing. Sometimes poetry should be traditional, but more often than not it doesn't have to be. I think you've achieved a very nice balance between clearly being a poem and also telling a story.

Lastly, I understand that you likely did not set it up this way in order to maintain the three-line stanza structure. But to put an elipses before awkward pauses (to me) sort of disturbs the flow. I would have made the phrase "awkward pauses" an entirely different line, but as I said, the three-line stanzas work very well, so I don't think that this change is entirely necessary. I would consider other options to really accentuate the awkwardness of those pauses. That's just my opinion, though.

Your grammar was great, though I'm not a huge fan of grammar critiquing on poetry. Sometimes, a lack of punctuation and capitalization in poetry can be on purpose, but that's beside the point. I don't have any critiques anyway in that realm. I happen to think the language is stunning and perfectly selected.

There's something very bittersweet and beautiful about what you have here. Thank you for allowing me to read and critique it. Congratulations! Excellent job, love!

-Talia <3




Satira says...


wow, thank you for reviewing this. It means a lot to me. I'm glad you understand the poem...although it makes me very sad that anybody who understands it has had to go through so much pain in order to...
I'll keep your suggestions in mind, definitely (I'm a little busy, so they might not show up very fast...)
:)



TaliaSankEden says...


I just was sifting through your comments down below, and I saw your description of poetry being "three-dimensional and no-dimensional" all at once. I think you should know that that is without a doubt the greatest description of poetry I have ever heard. Also, I HATE being rated on a scale. It's like rating a person's looks on a scale of 1/10. There are far too many factors for a straight line. Regardless, I still think your poem is so beautiful. <3



Satira says...


:) I'm glad we're birds of a feather on this.



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Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:50 pm
steampowered wrote a review...



I don’t generally review poetry as I don’t really have much experience of writing it (meaning I probably can’t give you any advice on the more technical aspects such as rhythm) but after reading this poem I thought it was definitely worth trying to do a review. As Nightcrawler said, poetry is quite tricky to review, but I’ll see what I can do.

As someone who sometimes listens to audiobooks, I could identify with the sentiments expressed in the poem, and the comfort of having a human voice telling you a story. I could almost detect a kind of obsession in the narrator, a real need to hear someone talking to them, to such an extent they might listen to the same story over and over again.

But instead,
I buy perfect, printed scripts for $16.95
on iTunes.


I found these lines really effective, because they showed how the narrator was happy to listen to flawless (I suppose you could say sterile) speech instead of the imperfect, impromptu conversation of everyday life.

I liked the simple, almost matter-of-fact way in which the story was told, and thought it was really effective. It also makes the words, and the loneliness of the narrator, more moving. I liked the ending as well; it was satisfying yet still a little sad.

Some of the styles you used were really effective, especially the bit about the awkward pauses, and the way you added in ellipsis to convey an awkward pause. The use of italics was also really good – I think it would definitely lessen the impact if the words “needing” and “me” weren’t italicised.

There was only one thing I wasn’t sure about, and it was the repetition between these two lines:

because I miss hearing people speak to me


and

I like hearing someone speak to me


I’m saying I’m not sure about it because while I can see the repetition gives it effect, it also seems that you’re making the same point twice and not adding anything new. Maybe you could rephrase one of the lines. Or if you like it as it is you can just ignore me. :)

I enjoyed this poem, it was short but powerful, and wistful but not depressing. I liked the fact you had clearly-split stanzas – it made it much easier to read and gave it more effect. I also read it a little more slowly as a result. Hopefully this review makes sense, and was helpful (or failing that, not completely unhelpful) Thanks for uploading, and apologies for my poetic inexperience! :)




Satira says...


Haha, it's alright. Thank you so much anyway for taking the time to review this. Anyway, this is free verse poetry so the 'correctness' of the flow is completely your opinion. If it sounds good to YOUR ears. That's what matters, right? :D



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Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:06 pm
Sonder wrote a review...



Hey Satira! I saw your frustration about unhelpful reviews, and thought maybe I could give it a try. Poetry is very hard to review, so I'll try my best. :)

I found this a really interesting poem. When I first saw the title, I thought maybe it could be about a disabled person. Like someone who is blind or dyslexic or what not. My background includes a lot of interaction with disabled people, so that was just where my mind went. Nevertheless, it grabbed my attention. Funny, such a simple statement made me want to read this. So great job on the title.

Then I read the poem and it became clear to me that it wasn't a disability poem, but a story about disabled relationships. The very first sentence was intriguing. This poem was intriguing. It was the bare minimum of a story, but it made me interested in the background of this person. You didn't tell us flat out what happened, but gave just enough for the reader to fabricate their own story. A really unique approach to an average object, an audiobook, and then describing it in a way that makes it personal and heartfelt. It defines what an audiobook is in a different light. It is escape from past pains in relationships. It is a crutch for communication.

This poem, when first scanned, didn't seem that interesting, but then I read it again. I found more meaning in each sentence I reread, and I crafted a story for myself. I don't know if this is your story or one woven from your imagination, but you did a great job portraying it.

I was also was strangely attracted to the lines

I buy perfect, printed scripts for $16.95

on iTunes.


After such a poetic few stanzas before this one, the raw details such as the price was an interesting twist. I really loved it, I don't know why. :)
The ending left the reader with a feeling of closure, but that of soft disappointment. It was a lovely way to end the story, and I think you executed this person's explanation for audiobooks perfectly. Thanks for sharing this.

Keep writing and being amazing!

~Night




Satira says...


:) thank you! It really means a lot to me...



Sonder says...


No problem! You deserve featured. :)



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Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:56 pm
SilverKnight007 wrote a review...



Hey! I'm here to review your poem. So, to start with, your punctuation and grammar was spot on! Congrats on that! But the message is really just not clear. I understand the poem was written to depict someone's misery and the feeling of being left alone, to not be needed by anyone. The feeling is all there, but the words aren't quite up to the whole depressing plot. On the whole, this poem was above average. I'd give it a 3/5!

Good luck to you!!
Please do check out my poems 'Just a Spark' and 'What is Life?'. Read, review, comment, like and please do FOLLOW me!! Enjoy!

~ SilverKnight007




Satira says...


er, thanks for that handy plugin.



Satira says...


but by the way, I really don't think you should rate poetry on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10. I mean, that isn't what poetry is, at all. it's like a scene in 'Dead Poet's Society' where you can plot on a graph 'how truly great' a poem is. Poetry isn't math.
I want it to touch people. it may not touch you, specifically, but RATING it is completely pathetic. It's a two-dimensional rating for an art that is at once three dimensional AND no-dimensional. Also, you reviewed this poem just so you could give the plugin. It was a short review that beat me down and promoted you. That is not what a review is supposed to be.
I'm sorry I'm ranting, but you just kicked my piece out of the green room, and I'm not going to get any more good feedback after yours
~Satira



DrFeelGood says...


I second that. Even I dont like it someone gives stars to my work. And then there are people who call me worst/overrated and lot more. But I like your poem Satira!



Satira says...


%uD83D%uDE0A thank you!



SilverKnight007 says...


Hey! I am not really sure by what you mean, but here's the thing, your work was good and it's out there for people to see and admire or criticize. Why I rated it was to let people know how much I liked it on a scale of 1 to 5. Its just a measure of the goodness of your poem. I don't completely agree with you, because even though I know poetry is 'three dimensional and no-dimensional at the same time', there has to be a certain extent to which it can be promoted for the masses to see.

Also, self-promotion is something that is a necessity because there is no other way of letting people know who you are and what your mind and heart is pouring out.

Lastly, my review didn't beat you down, if anything I complemented your style of writing and grammatical accuracy. A review is something that the critic feels about the piece of work. So, if I'm the critic I'm given the liberty to be biased in my view and perspective of the work. Please do not take me to be a rude person, but my views are not in unison with yours, but I had to take this opportunity to let you know that I liked and work and I don't feel I degraded anybody or did anything wrong.

Thank you for letting me know what you felt. I will keep in mind the sensitivity of an author's brain and heart. Sorry, if you felt bad because of my review. I will take it down, if that's what you would like. But just so you know the review wasn't to pull you down.

~ SilverKnight007



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Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:36 am
Transporter23 wrote a review...



Cool. I'm here to review.

This is average poem if not bad. I say this because you just said "GO AWAY TRANSPORTER!" in one of your replies. Speaking truth is always good. about this poem it was stretched, long, tire-some but still something engaging.

The grammar is good, language is fine and flow is average. Subject is realistic and fresh and it is delivered in an average way. Over all 5/10




Satira says...


:) I know you love trashing people's works or at least 'telling it like it is' or whatever. 5/10 is very good for you, so thanks.




Sometimes my life just sounds like surrealistic fiction being sold on clearance at the book store.
— J. G. Hammersmith