Free?

Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that even though this poem is short and somehow made me laugh. I mean in the beginning the leaves thought they were birds since they were flying along the wind (like most birds do) also since they also wanted to dream like birds. Also i enjoyed the beginning, like how all of us are born into freedom *most of us, however, would not be born into freedom* yet mostly due to the selection of animal thingy out there, it could go either way.

Also I enjoyed that, although there is a message, i would say that you should write more of this poem since it seems like the message of this (if there is any) could be express more to the reader by the way you would write.

Overall, i would say that this poem is amazing in it self and hope to read more from you.

Farewell,
Tuesday

I really do like how you play with the subjective word of free and the literal definition of free in your metaphor. It is that step of precision that makes this a good poem. I don't usually give out praise either.

Where you can improve is playing with the line breaks to make the second sentence a little more cohesive with the over-all poem. Not just that- but doing this adds emphasis according to how it is said in real time. Don't be afraid to add slang to it; saying it how you picture it should be said is more real then saying it grammatically correct. To get an idea of what I am talking about go here; http://allpoetry.com/poem/11619552-Hey- ... -juliebuck

There are famous poets who use slang like the example above, but I can't remember their names. This is impressive for a 14 year old but it's hard to say if it's a coincidence or talent/skill, only time will tell.

Hey, Tigerlilly here for a review!

First off, I really like this poem! It flows very neatly together, and holds so much meaning despite its length! I love the comparison about the birds, because we always think of birds as a beautiful and free animal (or at least I do, anyways)
I find its really easy to relate to this and Ive often thought similar things myself. Keep writing!

Hello Satira. Nice poem you have here.

It's a simple poem, but it left a lingering feeling. It's probably the last two lines, "We're not birds, we're just dead leaves." Saying we're just some dead leaves instead of birds let alone humans, it was harsh. But it was so interesting because it was so harsh.

I can only guess the meaning of this poem since I didn't write it. There could be so many meanings, but this is how I saw it.

"We're all born free." Yes, we are born as humans with the freedom to speak out our feelings and do what we think is right. However, we do not take those right actions. We are too scared of making a scene. "We're too afraid of anarchy." I thought of birds as the ideal people, who are truly free and not afraid of anarchy(people's criticism, arguments, etc), and dead leaves as people(usually adults) who don't think or bother to take actions. Fresh leaves still on the tree will probably mean children or youngsters who are still innocent. Dead leaves, piled uselessly on ground. They will rot, and eventually become one with soil. Sadly, the soil will help the tree grow new leaves, and those leaves will later fall as dead leaves and continue the cycle.

This is how I saw your poem. A criticism about such cycle, and the dead leaves(people who don't take the right actions since they are too scared).

Of course, you probably wrote this poem thinking completely different thing. But I read it like that, and I enjoyed it quite a lot. Great job.

- Verdigris

Its nice ,I liked it, does not have to be long or explain much.If you ever felt you never would really be free even if you thought you were. you would get it even though it is a somewhat of a harsh reality. It makes it point.You could quote this poem so easily ,great poems do that they don't have to be too complex or boringly long.

It's an interesting poem, but I think you need to elaborate more. My interest was piqued by the description, but the actual poem wasn't much more detailed.
The imagery is quite beautiful: birds start out pretty free in their nests, but they only get freer, learning how to fly. But leaves, they start out pretty cool, but they just end up growing in the same spot, then falling to the ground and staying there. But the problem is the poem didn't quite get there; I had to do a lo of extrapolating myself and, while it's okay to make your reader think, I think you need to do a little bit more, especially if this is the entire basis of your poem; I'd really consider expanding the metaphor. It's not that it's bad now; I just think it has the potential to be a lot more powerful.
I'm not sure what the significance of 'you know' was. You repeat this phrase, so, considering the shortness of the poem, I feel like it must be tremendously important. Are you trying to create a casual feel to the poem, or are you trying to imply that we already understand how much we ourselves have limited our own freedom? If you're going for a casual feel, I don't think you get there. This isn't a casual message: it's deep and the casuality creates a disjointed feel to the poem. If you were pointing out our awareness, same applies; try thinking of a different phrase and not repeating it, unless you want 'you know' to be the most important phrase in the poem.
Really wonderful thought. Love the image. It's an amazing observation. Keep up the depth and uniqueness; it's quite refreshing.
-tgirly