The Demon on the Inside

It's there
Lurking in the darkest corners
Of my soul
Even while I walk
In the sunlight

It's there
Always there

Its eyes gleam red
Its fang flash white
Its claws stretch out
Locking me in its
Grip

There's no escaping
It
The Demon which hides inside
My cornered soul

It controls
It changes

Baring its teeth
It takes my heart once again
In its terrible jaws

I can't stop it
It's not really me
I would never be so
Cruel
To you,
My friend

No,
It's only
My Demon
Lurking on the inside
Comments & reviews · 1
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
FruityBickel
Review

I like the message of it, the whole demon on the inside thing. Maybe elaborate on how it affects the behavior of the host? Does the demon control the host's actions, or does the host try to fight it?

This line:

"Baring its teeth
It takes my heart once again
In its terrible jaws"

I don't know, it just seems awkward. The flow of it seems off, like there's no real rhythm or coordination to it. It's bumpy to read, with no punctuation, too. Commas and what not. Yeah.



Imagine if everybody had a little Wii sports Mii to say "Great Shot!" everytime they did something right.
— TheMythMaster