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140,506 Literary Works • 673,261 Reviews
I thought it was pretty good! One of the only things that I found wrong with this, was that you used the word "sware" incorrectly. It is actually a word, but it just means the past tense of "swear", so it's pretty much "swore" but with an "a". I believe the word that you were looking for would have been "swear". Another problem, is that it's a little bit choppy. Try fitting more lines of the poem together to create larger stanzas. Lastly, I think that anytime you have words bolded, you should actually have them in italics. It just creates a more intense feel to it (except for the last line... I think it actually fits really well bolded). Overall, pretty nice job! Keep writing! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me with anything you need
Thanks for the critic! It really helped. I can't believe I used swear wrong...
Well, how do you think it looks now?