Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Everyone references the Wild West as not so wild.
No terrain, no nature.
Just stupid drunk whites gambling for money or pride, and then shooting each other,
oh, and the occasional Native American attacks.
It's a routine of shooting, stabbing, killing, and dying.
A small amount of people decide to live peacefully off the land,
doing honest work and owning the occasional rifle or shotgun for self-defense.
The rest raid, pillage, and loot from this dwindling population.
I am not the kind of person that would do any such thing.
I travel across the vast open plains, eating what I find and sleeping where I can.
I do have a home, but I don't have a house.
You'll know what I mean.
Every day is an adventure for me.
Sometimes I find towns, where I trade what I have.
Other days I set up camp next to rivers. I've visited the Colorado once.
The muddy, cool water feels good underneath the tears of the sun. I've straddled the Indians a few times too.
Encountered a tribal leader, earned their trust,
told them a neighboring tribe is planning to attack, and shooting the chief and his son after that.
Safe to say, I was not a spectacularly nice person, but what can I say?
Hey, I've shot whites in my time too. A few guys challenged me to duels, and I shot them all up.
But the true Wild West doesn't reside in the evil spirit of men.
It is located in the West itself.
Much like the ocean, it is a ruthless and unforgiving place.
Where creatures die from lack of land in the sea, creatures die from lack of water on the land.
Vast plateaus of flat-topped arid land are scattered everywhere.
Some have trees, others only have underbrush.
The occasional oases and rivers give refuge to many migrators.
No one really can rule the land here. Mother nature herself is in the way of doing so.
Ah then, you ask who am I?
I am Napoleon of the West, and I am emperor.
The West is my home.
There is no dwelling in which I reside, this is my home, after all.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hey there! Stopping in for a little review on an interesting title.
At first I was going to disagree with the notion that most people are rumming around being wild and shooting up saloons, but them I realized this is from a specific narrator and is thus affected by that. Although if he's wandered so much I would think he's seen a lot more good and peaceful people since that was the majority.
In the first line I would change the speech to past tense so it reads "was planning" and "to shoot".
In the second line, it stood out as a bit odd. The first part seems to be the narrator stating how wild the west was compared to himself as a wandering traveler. He just told us he saved a tribe from being massacred, so why would he not think of him as nice?
Seems interesting to call himself Napolean. Whether simply meaning he conquers to the terrain and land (which he has just described in great detail as being the biggest enemy of all and untamable) or if he means because of winning shootouts, Napolean is a strong name to call down. He was a ruthless leader who crossed just about every line in his chase of conquest and glory.
But I am intrigued. I think I'll read parts 2 and 3 tomorrow to wrap up review month and team tortoise!
~Messy
Hi, Rookie! I love your poem. The poetic imagery and structure is very free and loose like the west itself. I also like your characterization of the speaker as a free-roaming cowboy, not a good person but not evil either.
The only constructive criticism I would offer is that the first line reads kind of clunkily. Maybe “everyone says the Wild West is not so wild” would sound smoother? Then again, there’s nothing wrong with what you have. This piece of advice is very nitpicky!
I think my favorite line is “where creatures die… water on the land” since the comparison to the sea and pirates really illustrates the chaotic nature of the west.
Overall, awesome story! Keep it up!