E - Everyone

Dragon Hunted (warning: may contain sheep)

by Rook

Clouds that roam over hills
and chomp the grass.

Bleating, and soft ears twitching
in the dandelion-seed wind.

Clover leaves crushed between careful teeth
stained green from a vegetarian lifestyle.

Cloven hooves standing, plodding along
from clump of grass to clump of grass.

Gentle beasts with rectangle eyes held wide open 
as they feel the curling claws sinking into their sides.

A dragon roars
in tune with the sheep shrieks.

The nightmares on wings
will dine heartily tonight.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
EndlessPest
Review

I am so happy I read this! To be fair I most likely would not have, had it not been for the warning...

May Contain Sheep is one I may have to use in future.

Thanks for sharing this, it was light-hearted throughout until the twist at the end, how will the sheep deal with the Dragon? Will the Dragon appreciate the taste of clover on his under-cooked lamb steaks?

It is a very random concept and I do feel you could've expanded on this more rather than finishing with the looming threat of a dragon attack either way though it was a fun read.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

User avatar
Burrow
Review
Burrow wrote a review · Mon Dec 29, 2014 4:09 am

Hello Jack here for a review.

To start of I like the concept of this poem, it reminds me of how to train your dragon, which I wouldn't be surprised if that is were you got your ideas from. I think the way you start this poem of is great, and it proceeds very well, but just ends a bit sour to me, even though I like the way you say it, I think you could have added so much more to this poem.

I feel though you could have added so much more to this story, it has so many open holes that need to be filled, you haven't really told us what the point of this poem is, maybe it is just meant to be random, but this feels like there is no point at all, I know you are talking about dragons, but I really wouldn't be able to tell that if it wasn't for the heading.

You need to tell us what the dragons are like, what the sheep are like, are they black our white, what to the dragons think of the sheep. Are the sheep scared of the dragons, or are the dragons peaceful old gentlemen who care a lot. You say that the sheep were scared of the dragons roar, why. Also why was the dragon roaring, was it scared, or feeling threatened, of maybe it was just yawning.

Anyway I do like your writing, and of the description you have, it is very good, I think the words you are very impressive, and shows the amount of effort that went into writing this piece. I think with a bit of adding to your poem, it will make this very enjoyable to read, this would even be a great novel to go on, about dragons, but with a twist you know, involving evil sheep :D. So It is a thumbs up from me!!

Always keep reading and writing, and you are very good at it Fortis. I wish I was as good as you.

Have a great day!

User avatar
Vervain
Comment

An excellent ode to sheep our dragon overlords.

User avatar
Chanta1234
Comment

This is a very go poem but is this everything you wrote or are you writing more.
Are you talking about horse?
There is nothing to critize because this is a good poem and I would love it if you would continue writing



Let the wild rumpus start!
— Maurice Sendak