Feeling >1000 with a <3

This is Kaos here for a review!

Buried with homework,

down in the dumps,

feeling run down,

and taken over with fatigue.

The first four lines here in the poem felt very casual in the way that I couldn't really take it too seriously. The reader doesn't want to hear you list off everything, and you could express this in a different way. The way you use here doesn't give any room for imagery to develop and has a weak structure. The lines don't have dynamics, they don't have any power behind them because of this. There are a lot of ways you can express having a lot of homework, being in a bad mood, feeling weary, and fatigue taking over. Express it into imagery, or at least stronger lines. Expand on what you have, what does the fatigue feel like? Don't just tell the reader that you've been having fatigue, express it. Is the fatigue like twin crescent moons under your eyes (this is a way to say that you have rings or bags under your eyes, or this is at least a way that I've described it.)

Talking to you makes these feelings vanish,

gone right into the breeze.

Jokes upon jokes,

laughs upon laughs,

serve as erasers to the pencil written sad faces on my paper called life.

You keep using the word "feelings" and it annoys me, because the reader doesn't know what you mean by it. Feelings is a very broad word that you need to sort of narrow down or go into more depth about because it can mean so many different things, in other words, happy feelings, sad feelings, angry feelings.

I thought you could talk about words on the wind or feelings on the wind like they are leaves and travel across it until the feelings/words start to decompose into the ground going back to the earth. Expand your descriptions and visuals because it makes it more vivid for the reader. I'm not saying that every line has to be filled of description but it would be good to add in.

You do the listing thing kind of again and I'm going to talk about structure. The power behind your lines has to do with the structure, but even more, it has to do with how you deliver the lines. Use strong sentence starters, use lines that end when they start, use lines that use commas and semicolons to build up on top of each other and expand. In other words, don't just list.

I rant,

I cry,

And I get crossed with you,

even if you didn't do anything-

but you are still there,

cheering me on because you care.

Chop up the lines here. You have a tendency to let your lines drag on. I didn't really find anything special in this part of the poem, but honestly that's how I feel about most love poems. And my problem with this is that it doesn't really make an effort to differentiate from other poems and you don't have to add any sort of ~new~ or ~special~ depths to it, the reader just wants to hear something more personal. Use personal experiences instead of fully describing the love from your head. Do you know what gets me? Tiny things. All the small things that you add in that are genuine things, for example, me and my friend raise our eyebrows at each other while walking by the hallway, which isn't a great example, but it's something /real/. I'm not saying to cut out metaphors or figurative language or anything, the reader just wants to hear something that isn't from anonymous and to anonymous.

Even on the worst days,

when I'm feeling lower than low,

With you by my side,

sending a '<3'

I know I will always feel >1000,

knowing I'll aways have a place to go.

So it felt like the whole poem was leading up to this quirk and it fell flat just because of that. It felt like you were filling space to get to here and it's like a punchline and it's not bad to have a final thing that kind of summarizes or tops the poem off. The bad thing is basing everything else around it instead of letting everything else do what it needs to do. It's not necessarily a bad ending but the rest of the poem felt very general and without detail to me. For imagery, use your five senses to describe things. What does the love smell like, taste like, sound like, look like, feel like? Tell us about it. The same thing can go for something like fire, or trees, or the seasons, what does it smell/taste/feel/sound/look like?

I hope I helped and have a great day!