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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

The Thief That Stole Excalibur (Part 7)

by RavenBlack


INT. CAVE - NIGHT

LADY LUCK wakes up, her vision blurry. As her vision becomes clearer, she looks around the cave, confused to see that LANCELOT was not there.

Immediately, she stands to her feet but falls down as she clutches her chest, grunting in pain, her breath heavy.

After a few moments, she gathers her strength and against what her body was telling her, forces herself to her feet and exits the cave.

EXT. THE ISLE OF LOST SOULS - NIGHT

The forest is quiet, apart from the sound of water splashing. LADY LUCK averts her attention towards the sound and finds LANCELOT bathing in a moonlit lake.

She admires his lean physique from afar. His body glistering under the moon.

The sight of bones and dead carcasses by the bank insights her curiosity. Then a small light on the other side of the lake catches her attention, it's similar to the light she saw at the isle's gates.

Squinting her eyes, she tries to make out what it is but as she does, large ripples form on the water, heading straight towards her. LADY LUCK and LANCELOT are too distracted to notice.

LADY LUCK walks towards the lake, trying to get a better look - suddenly a large Basilisk jumps out of the water causing LADY LUCK to fall backwards.

LANCELOT witnessing what happened, rushes out of the water.

LANCELOT

Lady Luck!

As the Basilisk slithers towards LADY LUCK, she quickly flips onto her stomach and attempts to crawl away. A venomous, green trail lurks behind the Basilisk as it moves forward.

LADY LUCK sees more carcasses as she attempts to crawl away and her eyes widen at the realisation why they are there.

LANCELOT hastily puts on his pants and runs over to LADY LUCK. Hearing LANCELOT's footsteps, the Basilisk averts its attention to him.

LADY LUCK

Don't look into it's eyes!

LANCELOT looks at LADY LUCK with confusion.

LADY LUCK

It's a Basilisk, it can kill by sight!

Immediately, LANCELOT shields his eyes. The Basilisk seeing this, takes advantage and flicks its tail at LANCELOT, launching poisonous, green venom onto his bare skin, his arms and chest inflicted. LANCELOT howls in pain and crashes to his knees.

LADY LUCK

Lancelot!

The Basilisk brings its attention back to LADY LUCK. LADY LUCK grabs a handful of soil and throws it at the Basilisk's eyes. It blinds it for a moment and LADY LUCK uses the spare time she's gained to find a tree to hide behind.

Breathing heavily, LADY LUCK waits, cautious not to make a sound. But then she realises that the sound of the Basilisk slithering, is moving further away from her. She turns around and notices that the Basilisk is heading towards LANCELOT.

LADY LUCK picks up a stone and throws it at the Basilisk.

LADY LUCK

Hey! It's me ye want! Come and get me!

The Basilisk looks briefly at LADY LUCK then returns to approaching LANCELOT.

LADY LUCK

No!

LANCELOT tries to move but his body can't muster the strength to. The Basilisk towers over him and LANCELOT closes his eyes, ready to accept his fate.

Suddenly, LANCELOT hears the painful cry of the Basilisk. He opens his eyes and sees LADY LUCK piercing a sharp bone through the Basilisk's eyes.

LADY LUCK

Where's your sword?

LANCELOT nods over by the lake, where the rest of his clothes were. But as LADY LUCK goes towards it, the Basilisk slams its head against her body, sending her flying through the air.

Aggravated, the Basilisk chases after her, barely waiting till she hits the ground. Opening its mouth, it anticipates her landing into it.

Quickly, LANCELOT forces himself to reach for his sword. Fighting against the pain, he grabs his sword and throws it at the Basilisk, piercing it in its back, causing it to keel over just as LADY LUCK crashes to the ground.

Lying next to the beast, LADY LUCK arches in pain. She looks at the Basilisk, its breath slowing down. A quiet, desperate cry comes out of the Basilisk's mouth and LADY LUCK can't help but empathise with it.

LANCELOT

(hoarsely)

Kill it, Lady Luck.

Tears form in LADY LUCK's eyes as she clenches her fists.

Standing to her feet, clutching her chest, she stands over the Basilisk. She can feel its eyes on her as she reluctantly places her hands on the hilt of LANCELOT's sword.

LANCELOT

What are you waiting for?

LADY LUCK

Shut up, Lancelot!

LADY LUCK's breath quickens, her hands trembling. She can't bring herself to do it.

Suddenly, the Basilisk arches its body against the sword, driving it deeper into its back till it runs straight through it.

LADY LUCK eyes widen as she witnesses the Basilisk's body becoming still, it's eyes fading until there is no life left in them. She looks at LANCELOT, her hands shaking in horror. He looks at her with the same shock but does his best to hide it.

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

LADY LUCK awakes to the smell of stew. LANCELOT is sitting by the fire, shirtless, bandages wrapped around his arms and chest. LADY LUCK groans as she lifts herself up, alerting his attention.

LANCELOT

How are you feeling?

LADY LUCK

My head hurts. What happened?

LANCELOT

You passed out.

LANCELOT gives her a bowl of stew.

LANCELOT

Eat, you need to regain your strength.

LADY LUCK is about to take a spoon full of stew when she realises that her chest is wrapped with bandages. She becomes shy and bashful.

LADY LUCK

Did ye-

LANCELOT

You were badly injured, I had to. I didn't want to risk your wounds getting infected.

LADY LUCK wraps the blanket that was already around her tighter and curls in the corner.

LANCELOT

I did nothing other than apply the dressing to your wounds, you have my word.

LADY LUCK eats her stew in silence as an mutual awkwardness ensues between them.

LANCELOT

Why did you hesitate to kill the Basilisk?

LADY LUCK becomes reluctant but soon relinquishes to her hesitation.

LADY LUCK

I've never killed anyone or anything before.

LANCELOT is shocked by her answer.

LADY LUCK

I was never taught how to use my crossbow or daggers to kill, only to steal. Even the food we ate, we stole. My luck has always protected me, so I'd never been in a situation where I had to defend myself - until now.

LADY LUCK looks at her hands, ashamed.

LADY LUCK

Even though the Basilisk drove itself through your sword, I still feel like I have its blood on my hands. Is this what it feels like to commit murder?

LANCELOT stands up and sits next to LADY LUCK.

LANCELOT

The first time I killed someone, I was 16. Me and Arthur begged Uther to let us join him on the front lines, we wanted so badly to share in the glory, to slaughter the witches and wizards that he claimed to be evil. We wanted to prove ourselves to our families and to the King.

LANCELOT becomes uneasy, LADY LUCK curious.

LANCELOT

But when I made my first kill I remember being unable to move. It was as if time had continued without me. Arthur consoled me, he told me that I had to close my heart to it.

(laughs)

But if I told you the amount of men and women that he slaughtered that night, you'd never have thought he was the one who'd given me that advice.

LANCELOT hangs his head in regret.

LANCELOT

That day I should've known.

LADY LUCK

Known what?

LANCELOT looks at LADY LUCK.

LANCELOT

What type of man he'd become.

LANCELOT looks at LADY LUCK puzzled.

LANCELOT

Why am I even telling you this?

LADY LUCK

Ye, we should stop before it gets weird.

LANCELOT gets up and sits where he was originally.

LANCELOT

Goodnight, Lady.

LADY LUCK is pleasantly surprised by his retort.

LADY LUCK

I thought ye said I wasn't a Lady?

LANCELOT

You're not.

LADY LUCK

Then why-

LANCELOT

Just a friendly reminder.

LANCELOT gives her a cheek wink before falling asleep. 


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44 Reviews


Points: 2965
Reviews: 44

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Wed Apr 10, 2019 6:40 pm
jster02 wrote a review...



I love the character development in the last scene in the cave. It's cool to see you touch upon the arrogance displayed by King Arthur at the beginning of the story. Hearing Lancelot bring it up again gives the sense that, sooner or later, everything is going to come to a head. Also, do I sense a romantic subplot developing between Lancelot and Lady Luck? I'm certainly interested to see how that plays out. Anyways, there were a few things I noticed that needed polishing.

The Basilisk looks briefly at LADY LUCK then returns to approaching LANCELOT.


This is a rather minor thing, but sentence felt a little awkward to me. I feel like I've seen some sentences with a similar problem throughout the work. I can't quite put my finger on what the problem is though, so if you can't figure it out it might just be me.

LANCELOT tries to move but his body can't muster the strength to.


This also felt a tad bit awkward to me. You don't really need to say "his body," here. It could be replaced with a simple "he," or even be removed entirely and the sentence would flow much better. The main reason I'm bringing this up is because, like the first little nitpick I had, I've seen it throughout the story. (Come to think of it, another example would be the "eyes eyeing" line mentioned in my review of the previous part of the work).

But if I told you the amount of men and women that he slaughtered that night, you'd never have thought he was the one who'd given me that advice.


I was a little confused by this. Are you implying that Arthur killed many people or none at all? This might just be me though, you can ignore this if you addressed that somewhere and I just didn't see it.

That's about all I have to say. Love the direction this is going, and can't wait to read the next part!




RavenBlack says...


Thanks again for the review, they really help put the story in perspective! I agree with a lot of what you said, especially the first dialogue you pointed out. Everytime I read through it, it always sounded weird but I'll make sure to change it.

But in reference to Lady Luck and Lancelot having a romantic relationship... Well I guess you'll have to wait and find out ;)



jster02 says...


That's enough conformation for me regarding the romance situation. :)



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92 Reviews


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Reviews: 92

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Sun Mar 31, 2019 11:20 pm
kostia wrote a review...



Hell there RavenBlack!

This is Kostia here for a quick review on your script. I have read a part of this before so I thought to drop by and let you know what I think of this. It is review day after all!

(Sorry in advance for any mistakes I am doing this review from my phone!)

So let's start!

As I had mentioned on my last review this is not really close to my taste regarding scripts. I will try not to let that interfere with my review so I will make more general comments mostly regarding structural matters.

I believe this one is much better than the part I read before (sorry I am not really sure which one it was) It has more dialogue which is something I liked.

I do think some of it is kind of confusing however I haven't read the whole thing so I am not so familiarized with the story. The part I read before could be summarized into the title, maybe it was the first part of it.
Your vocabulary is okay. It is simple and easy to comprehend while reading. However since this is a script and from what I ve read so far, it considers a different era I would suggest you to use more formal words in the dialogues and phrase in a way that is more suitable for the time the script describes!

I think your grammar and spelling is fine (although I am not a native speaker so I can possibly be wrong about this.)

Overall I think you did a good job and it looks certainly better from the last one I read. Your characters were better expressed and that made me feel closer and more familiarized with them! I believe that is an improvement! Good job!

Keep up the good work!

Best regards
Kostia




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162 Reviews


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Reviews: 162

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Mon Mar 11, 2019 3:25 pm
FireSpyGirl says...



This is turning out to be incredible! I love it and cannot wait for the end, though I'll have to. XD.




RavenBlack says...


Thank you! Glad you still like it :D




The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
— Alvin Toffler