“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”
— Aldous Huxley
The air was crisp as Kei and Kukui stepped off the train, the mist clinging to the ground and winding through the dark trees, twisting around them like ghostly tendrils. Ahead, Ujui International School loomed, its stone walls casting deep shadows against the fog-drenched spring morning. Kei tightened his grip on his suitcase, feeling the slight tremor of nerves as he took in the vast campus stretching before them.
The main building rose high, its gothic architecture formidable and impressive, almost as if it were alive, watching every newcomer with ancient, judgmental eyes. Intricate iron gates framed the entrance, and the archway overhead seemed to reach out like a clawed hand, casting a faint shadow that made the school feel timeless and eerie. Cherry blossoms drifted lazily through the air, their delicate pink petals a strange, almost jarring contrast to the dark stone and ivy-covered walls.
“Well,” Kukui said softly beside him, her eyes scanning the imposing structure. “It’s…certainly not like home, is it?”
Kei shook his head, a half-smile touching his lips. “No…it feels like we’ve stepped into a different world.”
They made their way through the gates, joining a line of other students entering the main hall. Kei felt his heart beat faster as he looked around, taking in the quiet, almost reverent atmosphere that seemed to settle over everything. There was a somber beauty here, a kind of haunted stillness that seemed both inviting and dangerous.
As they reached the front of the hall, a small figure stepped out from the crowd, her movements graceful and deliberate. She was petite, almost doll-like, with sharp eyes that gleamed with mischief and an expression that seemed to linger between amusement and curiosity. She held herself with an air of authority that seemed unusual for someone her size.
“Welcome to Ujui International School, new blood,” the girl announced, her voice carrying a teasing lilt. “I’m Yuki Agustyn, treasurer of the student council. I’ll be your guide today.”
Kei and Kukui exchanged a quick glance. “Nice to meet you, Miss Agustyn,” Kei replied, offering a polite nod. “I’m Kei Takahara, and this is Kukui Amano.”
Yuki smirked, looking them up and down as if sizing them up. “Kei and Kukui, hmm?” Kukui looked at Kei with an annoyed face, this new girl they just met that’s already using their first names as if they were friends. It made Kei chuckle at the thought.
Kukui raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by Yuki’s theatrics. “Not quite. Just getting used to the place.”
“Of course,” Yuki said, her eyes glinting with something Kei couldn’t quite place. “I imagine it’s overwhelming—Ujui has a way of casting a spell on its students.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “And you’ll soon meet the jewel of the school…our Vice President, Marin. She’s like no one else here. Almost otherworldly, some would say.”
Kei’s heart skipped. Marin? The name fell over him like a shadow, familiar yet impossible. He brushed it off, convincing himself it was just a coincidence. He gave her a faint smile. “We’ll have to keep an eye out for her, then.”
Yuki’s lips curled into a cryptic smile. “Oh, don’t worry. She has a way of finding everyone.”
Yuki led them through the winding hallways, her stride confident as she filled them in on the school’s history, which felt somehow both ancient and unsettling. The walls were lined with portraits of past headmasters and council members, their eyes seeming to follow them as they walked. Every so often, Yuki would pause and throw out a cryptic remark about the school’s “many secrets” or how “Ujui is known for leaving its mark on those who stay long enough.”
As they rounded a corner, a loud boom echoed from the science wing, followed by a thick, pink foam seeping under a door. Kei and Kukui froze as the door swung open, and a girl stumbled out, covered head-to-toe in foam, her laughter ringing out in the hallway like a bright, mad melody. She wiped the foam from her face, giggling as she caught sight of them.
“Hi!” she said cheerily, brushing pink suds from her hair. “I may have miscalculated the reaction. Again.”
Yuki rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile in her expression. “This is Yuta Yamada, our resident chemist—aspiring, anyway. And our disaster queen of the science labs.”
Yuta flashed them a wide grin, unfazed by her messy appearance. “It’s nice to meet you both! Don’t mind the mess—I’m just conducting some very important research.” She winked at them, her laughter infectious. “Who knows, maybe one day I’ll discover something incredible. Or blow up half the lab. Either way, it’s exciting!”
Kei felt himself relax, smiling at her energy, and Kukui chuckled beside him. Yuta seemed to be a strange but welcome relief from the school’s imposing atmosphere.
Yuki continued the tour, leading them to their homeroom. When they entered, they were greeted by a tall woman standing by the window, dressed in dark, flowing clothes accented with silver jewelry that caught the light. She turned, her eyes sharp and observant, her lips curving into a knowing smile.
“Ah, new students,” she said, her voice rich and sardonic. “Welcome, welcome. I’m Mrs. Hawkthorne, your homeroom teacher. You may hear things about me. However you have nothing to fear, I’m harmless. ’” She raised an eyebrow, her gaze almost daring them to react. Kukui, unable to resist, smiled back. “We’ve heard you have a way with words.”
Mrs. Hawkthorne’s smile widened. “Indeed. I like to think I’m preparing you for the afterlife. You’ll find that education here is about more than academics—it’s about survival.” She paused, letting her words hang in the air. “And a bit of fun, of course.”
She continued with a few more darkly funny remarks, weaving in genuine advice as she went over class expectations and introduced them to the school’s schedule. “Stay out of the student council’s way, unless you know what you’re doing,” she advised, her tone suddenly serious. “They have…a certain pull here. Particularly the Vice President.”
“Marin?” Kei asked, unable to keep the curiosity from his voice.
“Ah, so you’ve heard of her already.” Mrs. Hawkthorne’s smile was knowing. “Yes. She’s something of a legend around here. Just…be careful. She’s definitely a strange one.”
That night, after a long day of orientation, Kei lay in his dorm room, the events of the day replaying in his mind. The school, with its dark corridors and strange, captivating students, felt like a world caught between reality and a dream. He closed his eyes, and a memory from the past surfaced unbidden.
He was back at the creek near his old school, sunlight filtering through the trees as Marin laughed, her bare feet splashing in the water. She looked at him, her eyes bright with joy, her smile unguarded and pure. It was a rare moment, a glimpse of the real Marin, unburdened by the world’s weight. They had ditched school together that day, promising it would be “their secret.”
As the memory faded, it left a hollow ache in his chest. Could it really be her? The thought was absurd, but he couldn’t shake it. She was gone, and yet…her name, the eerie familiarity he’d felt in the hallways—it felt like something, or someone, was reaching out to him.
Another memory surfaced. He was back in the Occult Club room with Marin, Choji, and Tonya, their faces lit by flickering candlelight as they huddled around a Ouija board. Marin’s hand rested on his, her gaze intent as they asked the board questions, waiting for answers from beyond. Her eyes met his, a quiet curiosity in their depths that seemed to hint at something she couldn’t quite explain.
Kei opened his eyes, the memory lingering like a ghost in the darkness. Ujui’s halls seemed to breathe around him, filled with secrets that whispered just beyond his reach. He felt the pull of the past, stronger now than ever, as if Marin’s memory was embedded in the walls themselves, drawing him deeper into a mystery he couldn’t escape.
He lay awake long into the night, wondering if he would ever uncover the truth. And somewhere, faintly, he thought he heard the distant echo of her laughter, drifting through the corridors, calling him back to a place where shadows and memories entwined.
End of chapter
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Chapter 4, Tikaa, chapter 4! *double and triple checks*
Hi RatHat 😊 Back for more :3
Hmm I’m surprised that the 2 new ppl are immediately accosted by the treasurer. How did she find them so quickly? I thought they would head somewhere where they can be picked up?
Feels like “with an annoyed face” is a rather uninteresting way to phrase this. What feature or quirk signalled to Kei that she’s annoyed? What does that look like?
Hmmm I also feel like this is very on the nose. Even if Marin is super popular at this school I wonder why Yuki would phrase it like this? “She’s like no one else here. Almost otherworldly, some would say.” –It makes the entire thing feel very surreal and like it’s only made for Kei, as if he’s dreaming.
That sentence on the other hand I quite like:
Hmm I’m getting the feeling that maybe the school isn’t all that big? The introduction of the new characters is very anime-esque.
Why is this not its own paragraph?
Also…. Where have they heard of Mrs Hawkthorne before? You never mentioned that …
I don’t think I quite like this chapter. I’m still not sure what the school they are at now is all about or why they chose it of all places. I also don’t like the way you introduced the new characters, possibly bc I have no idea about boarding schools. Are these 2 rly the only new students? Isnt this the beginning of the school year? How did everyone immediately know what classes they are going to? I find this chapter very strange.
*checks again that it is indeed ch4* That is all from me for now 😊
hi there, back for more
I like this introduction. Very timeless feel.
oooo wait is this going a different way than expected? It was nice to see Marin in the flesh for a moment in the flashback, but then we get this which is a very different vibe. I like getting it back to back.
Not much else to say. I like the idea that Marin is either alive vicariously through this new Marin, or will be some sort of manifestation of guilt or regret that Kei and Kukui are feeling. I do wish in some ways that we would have gotten a little bit more of the tour, considering we got so much before they arrived at the school.
Curious to see what angle this takes, and how Hawkthorne and Yuta come into play. I guess we will have to see!
~Messy
Hello Messy, it is truly so great to hear from you!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I like to hear what you have to say about it.
I believe that one of the best part of writing is revisioning and edits, and you help me with that a lot.
Take Care Messy
Hiii! It’s CATS here to continue reading your wonderful story! Also, check out my acrostic poem I made for you on my wall somewhere...anyways, let’s dive in!
Flash Of Glowing Eyes
So I'll be using my new method, CAT opinion. Let's start! This part is what it looks like at a first glance. I have nothing to say here except that it looks awesome and captivating so I'll be moving on to the rest! I can't wait to see what happens to Kukui and Kei.
Soft Fur
This part is for the favorite paragraphs or lines in this chapter. To start off, I love the details and the description. The sounds echoes in my ears, the voices talk smoothly, and the nature around them rustle with the moving, gentle breeze. I can feel it. The school looks nice, and I'm glad that Yuki could guide them! She seems pretty nice, maybe a little sassy, and great!! Anyways, those are my favorite parts!
Warm Purr
The Warm Purr is the parts where I liked and thought it was very nicely done. Let's see.
I love this line because it gives the reader a sense of wonder and questions.The school hides secrets, that I cannot wait to uncover! Also...what is the mystery with Marin????? I'm really curious to know. There is so much more about the school!
I can't seem to understand who Marin is, is she Kei's friend, is she a ghost, or is she a different girl? But anyways, this part is done really well because it sounds like the school is enchanted and ancient, giving the reader a sense of echoes? If that's how you put it. Like eeriness. Yes. Found the word lol. This captivates the reader, leading to the next chapter!
Sharp Claws
This part is what can be improved, and I'll suggest some stuff.
I would like to know what Marin looks like, and maybe why Mrs. Hawkthorne thinks she is weird. There is something dark maybe going on...lol idk. But that's all the tips I have for you because it is great already!
Concluding Meow
This is the conclusion of my review! Overall, I think this chapter was done very well, introducing us to the new school. This is very good, and I'll see you in the next chapter perhaps soon!!!
Happy Writing, Happy Review Month, and Happy Reading!
Love,
CATS
Hello Cats, I really enjoy the Cat Method! Keep on using it!!!
I enjoy reading your reviews and comments very much, I find much valuable feedback on it.
I'm glad u find my reviews useful! I'll prob get one more review in today...I'm a bit busy with piano
You play the piano?
That sounds so interesting, I would love to hear you play!!
Hmmm dunno how to record audio on here ..
But thanks!!!