You Are

This is Nikayla here a review.

I'm going to go ahead and go through all of my actual critiques for the poem so that I can get them out of the way. The first thing I wanted to tackle was the repetition. I would like to see it stronger throughout the poem and it does happen to get stale because all of the lines start the same way but, seeing the purpose for the poem, I can see it working, but from a structural standpoint, it's rather weak and maybe you could switch it up to perhaps have it so that the repetition isn't always as often and is at the beginning of each stanza. That's another thing that I wanted to note about this--there are no stanzas.

I'm not really suggesting that there should be if you decide to keep it this way because there isn't really a way to form these stanzas with lines that all start with the same thing. Another suggestion is to sort of make these neater together? I know these are all things that are something beautiful in themselves but at the same time, they don't follow any sort of theme.

Going to go back to your description--I like that some of these are personal between you and your significant other because it tends to mean a lot more in an emotional sense. It does tend to turn into just you spurting out sentences that are cute, which is fine in this case, but doesn't really hold up well.

Overall, the poem was nothing really new and the imagery wasn't at its strongest which I'll get to, but it works if you're going to give this to your significant other. The imagery in the poem could be more vivid as some of it definitely fell apart and consider using more than just one line to describe something, or at least putting a focus on your imagery.

Lines like this:

You are dancing in the kitchen just because there's a song in your head

You are the moon and the stars lighting up the night like day

This is really cute. I think that everyone can relate to having felt this kind of stuff for someone else before and you did a really god job of putting feelings to words. I just wanna say before anyone else critiques this that it was easy to see what you were trying to get across. On my most recent romantic poem, a complaint was that it was nothing new. I can see that this isn't anything new but it doesn't have to be. It's intimate and personal and I can appreciate that. You're trying to write something sappy for someone you love and that's really sweet. Don't let anyone take that from you. Another thing is how you repeat 'you are'. Again, it's an obvious choice by you, the author and there's nothing to actually critique there. What I like so much about poetry is how unique it all is. I feel that with poems, every author does pretty much everything on purpose which is why I hate most poetry critiques because, you never know if a word, phrase or styling choice is specific and significant to the author. One thing that I don't like about it is that there's a little bit of a lack of flow. I like your word choice and your imagery, but it's kind of like just reading a few cute sentences. I know they say not all poems need to rhyme, but I feel like a rhyme scheme would help this piece and give it a little bit extra mushiness. It'd kind of give it that Hallmark card feel. Really good job man, super sweet and I know she'll love it.