There is a place that hold countless universes
They sit collecting dust on shelves
They are lined up and categorized
They are named and alphabetized
These universes hold worlds
The worlds hold people
The people hold stories
The universes were created by countless gods
Each one different
I can open these universes
Peer inside
Follow the people
Know their stories
Feel their feelings
I have the ability to create my own universes
Worlds
People
Stories
This place we call a library
They call Heaven
Or Hell
Or nothing
We are uncaring gods
Who peer down on their little worlds
And set them aside when we are bored
They only exist in imagination
Do they exist at all?
The universes
Worlds
People
Stories
All testify that they do
There is a place that holds entire existences on its shelves
And they sit there
Collecting dust until the next eager reader
“Read on, ye Gods of story, ye creators of worlds For they cease the moment you turn away.”
~Someone Hopeful
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
'Ello, it's Cello!
I always love this point of view when it comes to books and I always think about this when I'm writings. It's such a beautiful power, and when you use it correctly, amazing things can happen.
On to the edits and suggestions...
In poems like this one, repetition can be a great help with the flow. I would advise you to change the first word of these line all to 'these' or all to 'the'. (I prefer 'these' personally) When something repeats, the brain scans over it and focuses on the more important part. The universes. The people. The worlds.
If this was a story, you'd have a new paragraph here. Now, of course, this isn't a story. It's a poem. I would suggest a break here. A new stanza. A blank line. A lot of people put a period on the blank line to get it to hold but I've found that a few spaces usually does the trick.
Two things here- there should be a comma after 'worlds' and 'for' should not be capitalized. If this was a quote online, originally spelled like this, then it's fine. Just leave it. If it was spoken and you took it upon yourself to write the words down, then they need to be changed.
Keep up the great work!
-ChocolateCello
I wanted to get this part out of the way; the first line holds an error. There should be an 's' on the word 'hold.' As I was reading this poem, I realized you used the certain phrase a few times. About the worlds, people, stories, universes. Though some will find it repetitive, I find it fitting to the style. It really keep avid reader and writer eyes glued to the work. The poem makes you really think, and digs down into your brain. It makes you think in ways not typical. Overall, I thought the poem was very enjoyable.
Hey! Retro here for a review
First of I'm going to do a few nitpicks then talk about what I like about this
You haven't really punctuated this so it reads as one long sentence. I think a quick read through will point out where they should be so it shouldn't be too much of a problem
'These universes hold worlds
The worlds hold people
The people hold stories'
Here i'd repeat these. I feel as though it would help the throw and add to the idea of plurality in the poem
'There is a place that holds entire existences on its shelves'
This line just doesn't read right and I can't put my finger on what it is. It just seems a bit clunky compared to the rest of the poem.
Right on to what i liked. I liked it a lot!!!! I think you have an incredible idea and on the most part it is really well written. I like this whole sort of existentialism you've got going on here and the idea of Gods being bored is genius. Your use of the library idea and comparing it to heaven or hell or nothing is absolutely beautiful and I think it is genius.
I really look forward to reading more of your work!
Always here,
Keep it up!
~Retro
Ok so it was good for being your first.
I am not one to judge so ill make it short and sweet, for me it was hard to follow and it was a little to long.
I loved how you talked about peering in to the universes and seeing everyone's stories that was beautiful.
I can open these universes
Peer inside
Follow the people
Know their stories
Feel their feelings
This part blew me away I would have never thought to write something like that .
Over all pretty good I look forward to reading more
I love how you made the title make me want to read it. I also like how you have hidden some tiny rhymes into your poem: I love that. I also love how you make the meaning unclear until the end so that your readers must read the whole thing to be able to get their answers. I to be honest was clueless until I saw the word "read" and then I knew it was about books. I love books and want to be an author. I love how you quote from Someone Hopeful. Sorry this review is short but I found no mistakes. I love it love it love it! Fantastic job, hope this review helps you!