The blank page stares at me
"You can't do it," it screams
Good thing I'm not a good listener
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Hi, firstly I just wanna say that I love this. As someone who gets Writer's Block all the time, you really put into words exactly how it feels and how awful it is. The last line really got to me, because like I said, I get Writer's block all the time. I think this is a powerful message to anyone writing who may not feel like their work is good enough, or can't figure out what comes next to keep pushing through.
This was so simply written, yet so profound. Definitely going to remember this the next time I'm struggling! Thank you for this!
You're very welcome, thank you for sharing your thoughts
Hey, Questio! ReviewBuddy here to review!
I like how open-ended this is. It leaves me imagining exactly what situation the narrator is in. Is it an author trying to meet a deadline? A student having to write a poem for school? A composer having trouble writing their music? Just a random person having problems with their printer? It doesn't seem like much at first, but I like how it could be literally any situation with a blank page and someone not being able to do something. I'm not sure what you intended for it, but hey, that's my thought.
The way you punctuated "you can't do it" doesn't really fit with the dialogue tag you used. Just using a comma is a little more casual than screaming. Maybe do an exclamation point instead. Or, since that's a little cheesy, have the paper be smug and taunting rather than screaming. Then, the comma would fit perfectly. It's up to you what to do with that, but I do think it should be consistent.
I think that the word "good" was used one too many times in this line. When you're writing a poem as short as this, the few words you do have need to be varied. Maybe find something that's not quite so repetitive.
I would point out the punctuation, but I see below that you said there's a specific reason you didn't include it. I didn't quite pick up on why that was. I don't think it really added anything, but I'm not sure. Maybe the page was making fun of the narrator for not being able to use the period key, and that's why there's no punctuation?
There also wasn't really any poetic language. This was really bare bones. Maybe just a tad more, even if you just describe the stare of the paper as "unrelenting" or something, just to add a bit more flavor.
Haha, this was a short review, since the work was so short.
Anyway, this was pretty nice! Simple at first glance, but not quite as simple when you stop to think about it. Keep on writing!
Thank you very much, I really appreciate your feedback
Hello, Questio. I'd like to say I enjoyed this but there wasn't much for me to enjoy. Poems are supposed to put normal or simple thoughts into more deep emotions. This really isn't a poem more of a quote or something short like that. I don't see the point in it. To me for something to be called a poem it has to be different than normal writing and this wasn't. Keep writing so I can keep reviewing!
~Keep <3
P.S. If you would like for me to explain what makes a poem then feel free to ask me.
It is really very short so it is somewhat confusing as to the message you are trying to send. What do the word mean, if you could specify that would be groovy. Also since you did not put effort into it then that is why it seems so confusing as to what you were saying so that would be why maybe im not getting anything. Also there was no flow so it was boring to read even if it was only three lines. Not to be offensive to anything though. Other than that keep writing and I hope to read more of your writing in the future.
There was effort involved actually. I think that when you have something this short, it is on the reader to put in the effort. I'm not the one who is supposed to make you think... You are. What do YOU think it means? In all writing, there are infinite answers to the question "what does it mean?"
What I think it means doesn't matter. What matters is what you think it means. The short length is very deceiving.... Your first instinct is to think about it only as long as it lasts. Think a little longer. Look inside yourself. It doesn't take a Gilgamesh-length poem to convey something.
Woah! Straight to the point. I like it. It's small and as I said straight to the point. um so I really only saw two errors one is a period missing another is a comma missing. Keep writing it is good.
I actually intentionally left them out, my poetic style places great emphasis on what punctuation I include and exclude; it all has a reason behind it.