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you taught me to scrape moon-dust off the moon

by Pompadour


~*(1)*~


when i was younger, you taught me to lift my arms towards the moon
and spread my wings until i could hug all those celestial bodies that hung in the distance.
you told me that if i breathed hard enough, the sky would catch my sighs,
pin them up to its bright-blue wallpaper.
and you'd whisper your secrets-- all of your secrets--in my ears
every time the moon was full.

'promise you won't tell? pinky swear?' you said. and i swore i wouldn't whisper
to anyone but you.
the world we lived in was an empty one anyway, with shards of green glass
clinging to my skin.
they were a part of me, and a part of my blood; you said
humanity was destined for great things.
and you taught me to scrape moon-dust off the moon.
i called it moon-dust and you called it light,
and it wasn't 'til you'd died that i could tell the difference.
i called it beautiful, but you called it cruel.
you thought darkness was beautiful, but i didn't see why.
i'll admit i was afraid every time the moon disappeared, but you'd just pull the dust out of your pocket
and fling it so the stars would shine.
per-pet-ual-ly.

'they're safe,' you'd say. 'safer than we know. and the moon is dangerous, and tyrannous and full.
promise me you won't go there?'
so i promised.
and i guess i lied.


~*(2)*~


i was many years older when i stole the moon.
i'd grown distrustful and adventurous
and just utterly stupid.
the moon called me towards it, so how could i refuse?
it wasn't full then, and you weren't looking,
but when i drew it out it was a perfect sphere.
i stowed it away in a trunk underneath my bed,
because i knew you would never look there.
it fit so perfectly in my palm, like the heart of the heavens;
a silent tear that the sky swallowed before it could fall.
dust flaked on its surface, i held it to my heart,
and i drank it in because it was mine;
my lips and my tongue and my throat were on fire.
the light nearly blinded me, so i shut my eyes, but i could still hear the moon's silent songs
seep through me like an ecstasy long-forgotten.
i was hovering at the edge of drunkenness, and every time i laughed i would see
streams of silver spiraling out into the horizon.
i reached out to touch them and the light shone so bright
that i screamed out in terror but i
was too far gone.
and yet i hoped, and i prayed and i prayed and i prayed
that you wouldn't find out and hate me for what i'd done.
and i huddled up on the ground, with the moon on my breast;
i sniffled and i snuffled and i cried out
mournfully.

'why?' you asked, that little voice in my head. 'how could you give in to the light, thought beautiful it may be? Why did you forget all our faith and our trust?'
i didn't know, so i lay there, until the blackness took me home.

~*(3)*~


i lost my sight forever, the day i gave in.
the moon was too bright, and my desires bizarre.
you could say ignorance blinded me, maybe because it's cruel.
and the light is cruel; it travels straight and travels far,
and it fans out in so many directions you can't tell which images are real.
it's a weird form of physics, like a hot air-balloon that spins through uncharted terrain
and half the time the wind doesn't bother to tell you where you're going.
from reflection to refraction, to deflection and diffraction,
i spanned the world twelve times over and forgot which way was home.


i couldn't see the moon. i thought it couldn't hurt me.
the day it entered my body i was spiritually dead.
i couldn't see the darkness; all i saw was light.
and that's what it's like when you turn yourself blind.
i was still a fool then, and i knew it, too. i guess i just didn't
care to admit.
i'd left you behind, as i tromped my speckled path.
i could've gotten all the way to mercury and never have noticed.
what was there to notice in a world like this anyway?
so i stamped and i stomped and i walked on.
the horizon never grew closer.

'you're an idiot,' you'd shout from goodness knows where, 'and if you allow the darkness to take you you'll see as you should! sometimes it hides the bad, and the darkness keeps you strong. aren't light and desire one and the same?'
i guessed they might be, but i couldn't see how.

~*(4)*~

the day i finally came back was twenty years later; my lips were coagulated with blood and there was sand in my eyes.
you saw me in fetters and you grasped me by the hand.
you didn't need to ask if i was okay.
'how was that moon-dust?' you asked me instead.
i didn't have the strength to reply, so i shook my head.
'i can't help you anymore,' you whispered, but you helped me stand.
and my feet found their way
to where my troubles began:
the room with the trunk that lay under my bed.
and when i touched its cold metal surface, i could feel the moon
jolting in my chest from where i'd been carrying it
all around the world, after all this time.
and for the first time ever, i cried with my heart
instead of my eyes.
it was then that i saw the world for what it was:
a tree; an illusion; the life of a wayfarer;
and i saw myself as a traveler, shielding my eyes from the sun.
i could feel the sails whipping against my ribs
and the masts all shook and fell;
the tridents caught fire like tendrils of a sea-storm;
the moon pushed it way out of my heart

and you slid it back into its navy-blue, velvet-lined briefcase,
where it still sings to the world

and its bewitching light wanders free.


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Mon May 19, 2014 7:08 am
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Renard wrote a review...



Heyo

This is an interesting title for an interesting work. What catches my attention most about it, is the fact that it is structured in a very unique way. It almost begins like an epic poem... or little short stories of exposition. It's very cool.
My favourite lines in the work were these:

you didn't need to ask if i was okay.
'how was that moon-dust?' you asked me instead.


Because it goes to show how charmingly strange this work is.
Where did you get the inspiration!?
The mystery surrounding this piece is part of its appeal and also for you as a writer, it determines a very individual style.

Well done.
Keep writing. :)




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Sun May 18, 2014 7:30 pm
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MysteryMe says...



Honestly, this is so beautiful, I can't think of anything else to say. Everything was just perfect. You definitely deserve all those likes :D

Keep writing!!!!




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Sun May 18, 2014 3:10 pm
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Alpha wrote a review...



Hi there, Pomp!

So of course, I don't need to reiterate what has been said already in other people's reviews. But as much as I want to gush over how lovely and dream-like reading this was (all while hitting the caps lock button) maybe a few nitpicks and general comments will help more. :3 So here we go, starting with part one:

and you'd whisper your secrets -- all of your secrets -- in my ears

The repetition of 'your secrets' is redundant. It would sound smoother as 'and you'd whisper all of your secrets' but that might just be me.
i'll admit i was afraid every time the moon disappeared, but you'd just pull the dust out of your pocket
and fling it so the stars would shine.
per-pet-ual-ly.

This is beautiful. The last line though, I don't understand why you broke perpetually like that.. it's nice, but I don't understand it, if that makes sense.
Now the last line in part one, it should signal some sort of transition, but in a subtle way, and it did.

For the next part, everything flows nicely until this:
'why?' you asked, that little voice in my head. 'how could you give in to the light, thought beautiful it may be? Why did you forget all our faith and our trust?'

The confrontation is a bit cliche, and the 'though beautiful it may be' sounds tacky. I think if you removed it, it would be better. Think of a way to show how the voice is disappointed at her, how the voice might channel that feeling of betrayal to the things around her.

A typo in part three, 'me; should be 'be' in the last line. (Haha that rhymes.)

The last part is just perfect, it made me cry. (There, I said it.)

Overall, a marvelous, rich poem. Definitely one of my favorite in this site. I'm a fan of this type of free-verse writing, and you execute it wonderfully. So here ends my review.

Keep on writing!
Cheers,
Alpha




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Sun May 18, 2014 12:29 pm
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StealTheWorld wrote a review...



Hey there, Pompadour!

I was ridiculously enraptured by this piece. More so than I usually am when reading a particularly good work of yours. Keep it up.

However, I've got a few questions for you. Who are the characters? Are they mere humans with a large role in the universe? Are they symbols for an inconceivable idea I couldn't possibly hope to understand on my own? Who. Are. They?

Also, how on earth did you come up with this? Do you randomly pull award-worthy poetry out of your dreams? It's a unique talent, I tell you. I'm impressed.

This was wondrously well-written (excuse my alliteration) and I hope you don't mind me stalking your poems from now on.

Hoping for more,
DarkHeart




Pompadour says...


I'm breaking this reply up since it wouldn't post in one go.
I am so glad you asked me this question! I was dying to add a summary but I felt this piece was better off if I left open to interpretation.



Pompadour says...


The "You" I'm talking to could be my conscience, or that little speck of good that always exists in everybody. It could be a personified image of our values, and the morals that keep us hanging onto this world. It could even be self-restraint, seeing as I've used the moon to signify desire and worldliness. It's a constant battle, a struggle against oneself. "Good in small doses and scalding in gulps."



Pompadour says...


And thank you so much for the review. <3





Thanks for explaining! You, dear, are quite skilled in the art of metaphors ;) very talented indeed. Great job!



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Sun May 18, 2014 11:45 am
Ahmed wrote a review...



I like this. I like the storytelling and the allegory, and I'm glad you were able to free yourself from this weight you've been carrying.

I love this so much. The emotion is so strong throughout the poem. I could feel every single word that I read, and that, according to me, is a writer's greatest accomplishment

Keep up the amazing work!






Hey there, Ahmed. I'd just like to help with your review a bit, so sit tight. I know there's a review guide on the site somewhere but I can't remember where >.< bear with me?

I can't help but notice that the first part of your review was taken from Kafkaescence's review below and the second part was taken from TheSybarite's. Now, though this is a quick, sure-fire way to get points, they weren't exactly earned. A good review should always be your own opinions on the works, not someone else's.

I think the "appropriate" length for a review was 4 sentences. You could divide your review between what you liked and didn't like about the work and it should add up to 4 sentences at least :) it's not too hard to write an honest review, and it can actually be quite enjoyable!

Hope this helped,
DarkHeart

P.S. Welcome to YWS!



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Sun May 18, 2014 5:41 am
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TheSybarite wrote a review...



Oh my God....this was absolutely terrifically breath- taking and gorgeous! I love this so much. The emotion is so strong throughout the poem. I could feel every single word that I read, and that, according to me, is a writer's greatest accomplishment. So cheers to you for achieving it! This was just beautiful. I don't think I'm going to forget this any time soon, so great job!
Keep up the amazing work!




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Sun May 18, 2014 5:25 am
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Kafkaescence wrote a review...



I like this. I like the storytelling and the allegory, and I'm glad you were able to free yourself from this weight you've been carrying.

The last section was unexpectedly and breathtakingly heartfelt, and the only complaint I could hope to have is that I wish that same emotion and fluidity of expression was present in the poem's entirety, particularly in the first two sections where you seemed a bit stiff, a bit rigid in your diction. There is a homely, straightforward allure to your style, but at times it did feel choppy and undercooked. Have someone read this aloud to you and it should be easy to locate such places and massage them out.

Still, I don't think I need to remind you how masterful this is as a whole, well done.




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Sun May 18, 2014 4:27 am
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Morrigan says...



What the knick knack paddy whack? How did you even write this? Lord almighty.




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Sun May 18, 2014 12:06 am
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CuriosityCat says...



This is awesome!!! IN EVERY WAY ANYTHING HAS EVER BEEN AWESOME. I loves it so much. :') I especially like:
"you saw me in fetters and you grasped me by the hand.
you didn't need to ask if i was okay.
'how was that moon-dust?' you asked me instead. "

I <3 it so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so...

*gasps for breath*

...much!

~Killing the Cat




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Sat May 17, 2014 8:44 pm
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fortis says...



I can't even.
<3




CuriosityCat says...


I know, right? O__o




cron
"The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth."
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening