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∞ catching infinity ∞

by Pompadour


Act One*~


night time is not a time of day, you've always told me. it's when the lack of light stitches the cosmos together and mends those fraying ends.
when the hands of the clock stop stock-still and stare at the sky, you can see the world halt and then--
move faster.
it's a jig-saw, a game of dominoes, or maybe chess.
except that you're on the losing side.

"darling, you're always on the losing side."

i count the thrumming symphonies of water by the wayside; the blood that streams
in rivulets and perambulates your soul.
i can hear the gongs whisper in my ears like the lives that we've shaken and shattered and strewn. it hurts for me to whisper above the clamour, but all these questions
burn at my throat like bottled whisky.
so i rasp because the world will curse me if it ever knows:
"what is infinity?"

you shake your head and tell me that i'll know it when i see it and that maybe you'll teach me to catch it someday.
but for now, we're on the losing side.

"darling, we're always on the losing side."


Act Two*~


"you can't use a net when you play this sort of game. it's deadly, it's dangerous and many regard it as crude.
you can't use a net. you can't use a snare. you can clasp onto its tail with your fingers, but the comets'll only tear away at your skin
'til fragments remain, scattered like starships on the surface of Mars.
the only way to catch infinity is to run after it long enough, and if you're lucky, you won't die when it swims through your soul."

am i lucky? i want to ask, but the answer is something i don't really want to hear.

"ready?" you say, and you spin me through the air before i can answer. i feel
dizzy and the world strikes ratchets through my veins.
my pulse snicker-snacks like a sniperscope i've brought too close to my eyes.
i cling onto the fabric of space, but it tears through me and i glide through the heavens as if caught in a dream.
the world's burning up--burning up--i'm too exhausted to care--
the heavens fling me down; their swipes cut cesspools into my skin.
i watch it crack and bleed and i try so hard not to rip my lungs out with pain.
you taught me to breathe imagination and it's rupturing my alveoli.

itsrupturingmyalveoli
pleasestopallthepain
isthisinfinity--
suchgarbledconfusity?

i drag the world by my ankles as i walk; the air around me shudders and your eyes do nothing but weep.
i would call you useless. i'd call myself used.
but silence keeps me shackled.
i want to taste infinity.


Act Three*~


obsession.
it trails down my bones; it's clinging to my sighs. it grabs onto my laments and strings them through my hair.
it's a siren, a call towards misery, but i don't really want to care.
infinity's close and i can feel it.

i watch as moonlight pools in on your type-written glances, like vultures against the stark setting of the sun; your eyes are broken green-glass bottles
swept up by the tide. they're empty, somehow, and yet i search them for a flicker; a shimmer; one hint of understanding.
but all i see is fear.
you hide it like the sky shrouds the heavens with starlight; you can never see beyond the light's clacking nails.
you hide it like you've hidden the true spirit of infinity.
you have never defined--never described--never thought of telling me what you seek.
but you made the mistake of letting me be the bait.
you've let me taste infinity once and now i want it all as mine.
and i'll watch worlds die if that's what it takes.

i'll watch you die if that's what it takes.


Act Four*~


i have spent my life perched on these sidelines, watching the curtains fray.
you raise a glass of dust and i watch you gulp the atoms down; you've always struck me as infinite and i'm curious as to why
because as far as i know, your act'll come to an end.
the curtains pull open to reveal ramparts of gold, but the divine presence is enough on its own. it peers through the gloom and it calls out your name.
there's no knowing what it is but i can see it in your every breath--your sighs knit my bones and tear them apart.

infinity.

it tastes like light and darkness and all those immiscible substances when they collide. it tastes like the ink that drips down my wrist in scarlet webs of ivy--
intricate sails against a valiant storm.
it tastes of despair, lust, beauty and terror--it tastes of blood and the crackling of autumn leaves against lemon dewdrops.
it tastes of crescendo--decrescendo--
and it's colder than i'd have imagined it to be.
its hands gripe for your waist; you scream and i wonder at your cowardice. i feel sorry for you, but you're weak.
envy contorts my heart until my venae cavae swallows all shreds of humanity inside.
i scream. i thrash. i flail and i fight.
there's blood on the linoleum and silver spines carving down your throat. infinity pauses as it sees me and my heart begins to bleed.
golden streams erupt like multiple chains from my heart--figures of eight in uneven patterns, like ghostly trails of fire.

i reach out. infinity grabs me and i smile against the light.
the blindness is suffocating, and it hurts like nothing's ever hurt before. i want to scream--back out while i have the chance.
"leave me be!" i scream but infinity laughs, chains looping around my neck. the darkness reminds me of caves within caves within caves
'til there's nothing but vacuum, and vacuum is everything.
i grip tight to the world; it slips like sawdust through my fingers, or the lacy curtains that would bite into my flesh every time the needles passed through.
i've had my taste of infinity, yet i have not caught it. and i wonder if you ever taught me to catch it right.
for i know as time stitches me to its hem that i am a part, and yet not a part, and there are a million parts of a part--

infinity takes me for its own.


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113 Reviews


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Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:55 pm
Bellarke says...



Act Two*~


"you can't use a net when you play this sort of game. it's deadly, it's dangerous and many regard it as crude.
you can't use a net. you can't use a snare. you can clasp onto its tail with your fingers, but the comets'll only tear away at your skin
'til fragments remain, scattered like starships on the surface of Mars.
the only way to catch infinity is to run after it long enough, and if you're lucky, you won't die when it swims through your soul."

am i lucky? i want to ask, but the answer is something i don't really want to hear.

"ready?" you say, and you spin me through the air before i can answer. i feel
dizzy and the world strikes ratchets through my veins.
my pulse snicker-snacks like a sniperscope i've brought too close to my eyes.
i cling onto the fabric of space, but it tears through me and i glide through the heavens as if caught in a dream.
the world's burning up--burning up--i'm too exhausted to care--
the heavens fling me down; their swipes cut cesspools into my skin.
i watch it crack and bleed and i try so hard not to rip my lungs out with pain.
you taught me to breathe imagination and it's rupturing my alveoli.

itsrupturingmyalveoli
pleasestopallthepain
isthisinfinity--
suchgarbledconfusity?

i drag the world by my ankles as i walk; the air around me shudders and your eyes do nothing but weep.
i would call you useless. i'd call myself used.
but silence keeps me shackled.
i want to taste infinity.

this is my favorite part, because of the wording and how it is put together!! Great job! L-O-V-E I-T!!!!




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Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:17 pm
JinxGrey wrote a review...



I really like this.The infinity sign is very significant to me.That aspect of really hit home for me.It had a nice flow and rhythm.I didn't find it to be hard to follow or hard to understand.You might want to shorten it just a tad because it is a little long.The act one,act two thing is a little confusing.I like the vivid wording and sensory details of it.I love the theme that surrounds it.Its a stupendous piece.I really enjoyed it.Good luck!!!




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Mon Jun 30, 2014 7:47 pm
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GoldFlame wrote a review...



Hey, Pomp! Here as promised.

I've always been kinda hesitant reviewing Spotlight works, but gosh, underlying themes, hidden messages, breath-stealing imagery. How could I resist? :D

night time is not a time of day, you've always told me.


"Nighttime" is a compound word, or you could hyphenate it, as classic authors do. Moving on, great launching pad, really communicates a message. I like how you skipped contractions so the first clause thickened, contrasting with that which followed it.

But, word of caution: avoid direct pronouns. "You" and "I." I'm not saying "avoid them altogether," but opening sentence ... ? Maybe it's just me. It doesn't suit the atmosphere, though. Sounds casual, especially with the brief dependent clause. As for fixing it, I wouldn't recommend clipping that clause, because then you'd get caught in spiderwebs. Just check that the tone carries through the rest of the work.

The atmosphere collapsed at other places, too. Like the narrator was trying to maintain a serious face but kept breaking into laughter. It's subtle; he's successfully suppressing his smiles, but his body's still shaking. Like (warning: petty example) "lacy curtains biting into my flesh." Lacy doesn't lock in because of its concluding with the letter "y," and it isn't as vivid as some of your other wonderfully strong words. Same case with "biting." It's been used so often in this context, it's almost transformed into an idiom. I'd recommend "laced," but it wouldn't alter much besides eroding the word's immaturity.

Here's an opportunity to summon the creative juices. Insert description. The narrator could even expound on the curtains, maybe? Their jaws and whatnot. Although I'm not an expert at this, so I can't say. I just offer my feeble opinions. XD

it's a jig-saw, a game of dominoes, or maybe chess.


I don't really know how to word this. I guess I could say that the atmosphere collapsed again, but it was beyond that ... it was like ... ? Like the transitions collapsed, too. The "or maybe chess"--gah, don't how to word it. Just sounds awkward. Then there's how all that vague, lugubrious imagery just sliced into lighter stuff, water piling onto oil.

I also expected the narrator to expound on it more. It let me down. Sure, sounds pretty. But the narrator's ... leaping? It's like he/she's getting so caught up in memorizing a poem that they're not registering its genuine meaning. One thought to the next, imagery to internal reflection ... I think you see what I mean. They all share a common destination, but the path they take is irrelevant, almost. And I was just totally unjustifiably harsh and it seems no one else shares my opinion so I'm probably just rambling ... *hides*

Not as if the images don't interlink. They do. They're gorgeous and they have so much flesh, but atmosphere, mood, and tone aren't solid.

Excuse my attachment to ellipses.

And quick grammar thing: "jigsaw" is a compound word, so it doesn't need to be hyphenated.

"darling, you're always on the losing side."


Perfect. Threw the reader off with enough force to stagger them but not enough to exasperate them. How you do it, I have no idea, but you need to teach me. XD Since it left such an impression, though, you'd expect the narrator to (this sounds stupid, but) expound on it. Well, not really expound on it, but compose some subtle something or other. Acknowledge it.

i count the thrumming symphonies of water by the wayside; the blood that streams
in rivulets and perambulates your soul.


More direct pronouns. Try cutting down on them more and sprinkling them in gradually so they don't strike the reader so hard. The word "you" was also used more, which sparked curiosity, but it wasn't elaborated on; the following pronouns correlated to first person POV. Either a mistake or intentional, or something forgotten? Interesting, though.

burn at my throat like bottled whisky


Why bottled in particular? Try elaborating; this description could flower into something fantastic. "Burn" is also a watery verb, as are some others throughout the work. Try "seared" or "scrape," maybe.

comets'll only tear away at your skin


I really encourage contractions, which's evident in my work, but if you're using "comet'll" you should watch for any other untransformed (so a word) auxiliary verbs and predicates.

swims through your soul."


Infinity swimming? I like it. It's unique. But that's the thing: it's unique, so I feel like some detail's necessary to flesh things out. Or the narrator could use a darker, heavier verb, just so it corresponds with previous descriptions.

snicker-snacks


Haha, I love this.

i cling onto the fabric of space, but it tears through me and i glide through the heavens as if caught in a dream.


The fabric of space is an overused phrase, and I see why you used it here, but as soon as I saw it, I knew I could expect something about tearing, fraying, etc., or even being born, stitched together, as written above.

Try twisting the cliche, maybe? Using words like "ceiling" instead of "roof." Or you could simplify it by exchanging "fabric of space" for "stars."

I'm also eying the prepositions in that first clause, the one concerning the Fabric. There's only two, but it sounds awkward with the narrator talking so dark.

confusity?


This isn't a nitpick; I just wanted to comment on the genius. You re-sculpted the word to add a dash of humor, and to make it so it rhymed with the previous line, too.

i don't really want to care.


The atmosphere's fluctuating again, introducing a casual tone.

type-written


"Typewritten" is a compound word, so no hyphen necessary.

it tastes of crescendo--decrescendo--


This registers a little vague. A crescendoing what? Trying inserting more detail so as to flesh things out and clears things up; "crescendo" doesn't mean much, besides that the reader can infer that it applies to music.

its hands gripe for your waist;


Think you meant "grope" here.

there's blood on the linoleum and silver spines carving down your throat. infinity pauses as it sees me and my heart begins to bleed.


The narrator keeps alternating POVs: second person and first person. I didn't want to mention it multiple times, so I'll just recommend sweeping the piece.

the darkness reminds me of
caves within caves within caves


I'm not overly fond of this description. "Remind me of" sounds vague, a bit weak, even, for such an essential transition.

I love the theme of infinity. So much juice. You really explored it well, too, especially the title: I can't stop admiring it. One infinity sign before and after, like the title itself is infinity, fraction of a space in a fraction of a space and so on, and as I was continuing to examine it (figuratively), I considered that it might also symbolize a snare, with infinity as the walls, closing you in while you're attempting to catch it, and now I'm just rambling and not making sense, so I'll hide now.

It's also amazing how you tied everything together with that celestial imagery. Normally writers get carried away with discussing stars and moons and the fabric of space, but you stayed on track and just executed everything like a professional and, gah ... amazing. Can't compliment the piece enough.

I barely caught any grammar errors, so you've got technical nailed, too. I'm starting to wonder if you're even human. :shock:

This isn't a nitpick, just wondering if it might be good to capitalize infinity toward the end, for emphasis, but that's only a suggestion.

Keep it up!




Pompadour says...


<3 Thank you for the amazing review, Flamey! I needed this. :D



GoldFlame says...


No problem! <3



timmyjake says...


That is an absolutely beautiful review, Goldy. :)



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Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:02 pm
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Em101cats wrote a review...



Hi, it's Em101cats here to review!


I think about infinity and I come up with many ideas. A never-ending string leading you into life when you're already in life. A never-ending heartbeat that keeps you alive, but when will it end? An infinite line of lights and explosions that won't end until they blind everyone in the world. But I never thought of one of the most impressive ideas: caves inside caves inside caves inside caves. Thank you for blowing my mind with an impressive idea :)


because as far as i know, your act'll come to an end.


I don't know if it's just me or if this is common - I feel like "act'll" isn't quite fit here. "Act will" feels and sounds better to me and I feel like it flows better than slicing the words into an abbreviation.

infinity takes me for its own.


MINDBLOWING! Most writing pieces need a better ending, and need to end with the readers gasping in awe. I congratulate you for perfecting the ending so fantastically! :D

Like the "Act'll" above, most of the abbreviations would flow better as their full words. That's just my opinion, so if you want to keep any abbreviations you can.

That about wraps up my review. I just want to say before I end this review that you blew my mind in so many ways. Very few writers are able to put this much impact and meaning into a writing - especially when it's a confusing concept about confusion and infinity. :D

Also, this was quite creative. You marked it as your own, while other writings about infinity list the same old concepts. Kudos!

Keep up the amazing writing!
~Em101cats~




Em101cats says...


And by the way, Pompadour, I love your avatar. Being who I am, I can't resist cats, even cyborg cats. :D



Em101cats says...


And congrats on getting on the top of the Featured Works list! This is so worthy of that title :)



Pompadour says...


Thank you, dear. <3



Em101cats says...


:D <3



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Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:55 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy is here for a review! :)

Due to Alpha's review below, without the usage of emoticons, I must overuse them to make up for the terrible lack. hee-hee :D


I feel terribly inept to write a review for this piece, or to even write a review for you--period. But I am going to do my best to do the best review since microwave popcorn. :)


This. was. amazing.

The description of the setting, the plot is just perfect. But you know what I am going to rave about the most? Yeah, you got it. The thought and character development. Its obvious to me that this poem is prose. You kinda taught me that. :) But the character development is so amazing, and you don't even realize the change that much when you read the poem for the first time. It. just. happens. without you realizing.

Yeah, so this wasn't a review, but I just realized that I can't review it. The piece is just too perfect. :)
~Darth Timmyjake




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Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:24 pm
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Alpha wrote a review...



Hi, Pomp!

I gotta say, the first thing I thought of when I saw the title was The Fault in Our Stars, infinity being a recurring theme there. But while it is simply an element in the novel, here it is what defines this poem. It does it well, without being overused, and I like that. So now, let's take a closer look at the content, yes? Bear with me here.

Your opening verse is thoughtfully worded. I have this thing where I always have to say something about opening-lines, since they're the most important, and I always thought they had to have some sort of KAPOOM element to it, but really, the best ones are the subtle ones. They whisper in your ear and lure you in with a gentle hand on your shoulder. That's what it felt like.

Now instead of critiquing each part separately, I'll point out the issues that reoccur throughout the poem:

The first one if more of stylistic and grammatical issue, and I'm not sure if it applies to the 'poetic-licence' rule, but here goes anyway. Your use of quotation marks -namely the single quotation mark- irks me somewhat. Mainly because there are also a lot of apostrophes scattered between the lines and it makes my little head hurt.. Maybe it's because I'm tired but I don't ever recall the single quotation mark used for a direct quotation.

Another thing is similes. So many of them! Which is no bad thing, but using the word 'like' in three sentences in a row is a bit odd. You don't have to compare everything to something else, so be careful there. A soup could have the perfect balance of ingredients but adding too much salt will make anyone overlook that.
Sometimes you would use a word twice within the same verse (or close enough to each other that it matters) so beware of that too!

The content of the poem itself was lovely (act three especially), but the sequence of events in part four was somewhat confusing, but nonetheless wrapped up well. A great read!

Keep on writing!
Cheers,
Alpha

As a side-note, I made myself write this review without using a single emoticon. Wohoo!




Pompadour says...


Thank you for the review! The single-quotation mark thingy's been removed. ^_^
*cheerbounces for Alpha*




Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
— Søren Kierkegaard