A Thousand Demi-Gods~Chapter 4- History

A Thousand Demi-Gods~ The story of Rayah

Chapter 4: History

 

The light crashed inside my room, hitting down on me through the curtains. I opened my eyes, setting a hand over my face to block from the sun. I let out a yawn and sat up, turning straight-forward so my legs were dangling off the bunk. It took me a few seconds to wake up.

I jumped down, my feet hitting the wood, making a hard thump sound. I looked at both Ethan and Matthew, sleeping. Matthew was on the floor and Ethan was on the bottom bunk. I kicked Matthew in the gut and his eyes sprang open, “What the heck Rayah?!” He says, clutching his stomach and rolling on his back. I shrugged, “You weren’t awake so I woke you up.”

I got a baseball from the desk and threw it at Ethan, hitting him in the wrong place. I watched him fall off the bed and onto the floor, “Rayah!”

I shrugged again, “You can throw a baseball at me if I don’t wake up and I’ll be fine with it.” I chuckled, looking for my phone.

I found it and stuck it in my pocket. I grabbed my bag with my books in it and started to head out. I walked out and slammed the door behind me.  I was looking down at the floor when I bumped into someone, was it Charlie? I looked up to see Charlie with a big smile on his face, “Hey Rayah.”

I flashed a smile back at him. “Hey Charlie.”

“What Class do you have first?” He asks, putting a hand on the back of his head as if he was in deep thought.

I looked at my schedule,

“History.” I replied.

His smile grows wider, “Me too. I guess I’ll walk to class with you.” He says, gesturing through the hall.

I nodded, “Sure.” I walked through the halls with him; paintings filled the halls, of our parents, Aphrodite, Zeus, Athena, Ares etcetera, etcetera…

When we got to class the bell rang and we sat down next to each other, someone looking EXACTLY like Charlie sitting in the seat in front of us. “Who’s that?” I asked in a whisper.

“That’s my brother, Niall.” He replies.

I nodded, “Cool.”

As soon as the teacher walked in he paced around the room, looking through the textbook. “Okay everyone, Please turn to page two-hundred-thirty-four in the textbook.”

I take out the book and turn to the page, seeing the headline-

History of the Goddesses

The teacher looks at me, “Rayah, please read the first paragraph?”

I nodded and found the paragraph about Athena.

“Athena is the name of an important goddess for the Greeks. She is the patron goddess of Athens, the goddess of wisdom, a goddess of arts and crafts (agriculture, navigation, spinning, weaving, and needlework), the favorite daughter of her father Zeus, and, as a war goddess with a focus on strategy more than bloodshed, an active participant in the Trojan War. She gave Athens the gift of the olive tree, providing oil, food, and wood. Although usually depicted holding a spear, her golden helmet pushed back to reveal her elegant beauty, the Greek goddess Athena was known more for her role as judge, diplomat, and mediator than for actually fighting in battle. Her decisions were renowned for their fairness and compassion. “

I read. He nods, “Charlie please read the next paragraph about Aphrodite.”

He nods and looks at the book,

“Aphrodite is known as the Greek Goddess (Roman Venus) of love, desire, beauty, fertility, the sea, and vegetation. It is said that when Cronus was castrated by Uranus, and his part was thrown into the sea, Aphrodite was thus born and arose on a large shell, which was then carried to land, thus her name being translated "foam-risen". The sea nymphs dressed her and adorned her with flowers and gold. She now represents Erotic Love as a form of Divine influence, which has resulted in many men becoming capable of falling in love with her. There are many other tales of Aphrodite, as her Roman name is Venus, she is also known as the daughter of Zeus and Dione.”

It was amazing about all these goddesses… my own mother had not told me stuff about her. He turns to Niall and says, “Niall read the third paragraph about Hera.”

ods as well, and turns to his book,

“Hera is usually plotting either to favor the Greeks over the Trojans, as in Homer's Iliad, or against one of the females who has caught the roving eye of her philandering husband, Zeus. At other times, Hera is shown plotting mischief against Heracles. In Greek mythology, the beautiful goddess Hera was queen of the Greek gods and the wife of Zeus, the king. Hera was goddess of marriage and childbirth. Since Hera's husband was Zeus, king not only of gods, but of philanderers, Hera spent a lot of time in Greek mythology angry with Zeus. So Hera is described as jealous and quarrelsome.”

When he finished reading I raised my hand,

“I don’t get this. Why do we have to learn about our own mothers and fathers?” I ask, confused.

He sighs, “Rayah, you need to learn about your own parents because I have a feeling you guys don’t know half about them.”

I nod and turn back to the book, “Okay so these are the three we are going to focus on today. Athena, Aphrodite, and Hera. Do we have any of their children in here now?” He asks, looking around the room.

I and another girl in the room raised their hand. He looks at the other girl first. “Molly, who’s your mother?” He asks. She smiles and replies,

“Hera.”

He nods and looks at me, “What about you Rayah?”

“Aphrodite.”

“Ah. So we have both the beauty goddesses here, don’t we?” He folds his fingers.

I have a bad feeling about this.

“We would love to see a contest? Wouldn’t we? To see how much they know about their parents?”

Everyone nods. “You guys up for it.”

I hesitate before nodding. “Yeah.”

I look over at Molly and she nods too. “Sure.”

What the hell am I getting myself into?

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KatKage
Review
KatKage wrote a review · Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:10 pm

The story is still good, but it still seems like you might be rushing a bit ^^ I can also tell you are typing fast ^^ While your first few chapters were written well, it seems like you're getting a little sloppy ^^ I mean this in the highest respect, and I don't mean to offend you ^^'' here, I'll just point out a few points;
1: You wrote "The light crashed inside my room, hitting down on me through the curtains"
The subjects of the sentence are a little everywhere. Maybe write it like this: "The light crashed down on me through the curtains." ^^
2: Also, I noticed a lot of 'I' everywhere. A bit of repetition is fine, but too do it too much in the beginning of each sentence and it all starts sounds like the same sentence over and over ^^'' Not the worst thing you can do, but it's not beneficial ^^''
3: Also, one of the sentences in the paragraph I'm about to mention should have been two ^^ You seem to try and put two sentences together, and although that's ok a lot of the time, too much and the sentences seem over crowded ^^''
4: In the same sentence, it seems kind of out of the blue that she goes 'is it Charlie?' ^^'' Maybe signify that she's thinking about him? ^^''
5: Also, you might want to press enter every time someone or someone different is talking ^^ It keeps it less confusing. ^^
Example Paragraph:
"I found it and stuck it in my pocket. I grabbed my bag with my books in it and started to head out. I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I was looking down at the floor when I bumped into someone, was it Charlie? I looked up to see Charlie with a big smile on his face, “Hey Rayah.”"
Maybe rewrite it like so:
"I found it and put it in my pocket. Grabbing my bag I slammed the door on my way out. As I started down the hall to my class my thoughts wandered to the night before. And to Charlie. Would I see him today in school? Is he in one of my classes? Why did my sister say not to fall for him? What isn't she telling me?
Before I could notice I wasn't alone, I bumped into somebody. I looked up into Charlie's smiling face.
"Hey Rayah" he said."
See, the flow is a little better, and the pace slows down ^^''
I hope my review helps you with your writing ^^ and I can't wait to read more ^^



I regret everything.
— Ron Swanson