The swaying goes left and right and up and down
Oh, the excitement of feeling like flying into every turn we curve into, makes me dream over again!
I'm holding a boy's hand in mine and he tells me how beautiful the stars are at sunset.
We are soaring through the air and around every puffy cloud of tied up rain.
While I'm seating in the backseat, my head is out the window
I can feel the weight on me of the endless blue sky
Wherever we go,
I'm feeling like a free angel above the city lights.
Oh, the excitement!
The swaying goes left and right and up and down.
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140,707 Literary Works • 673,675 Reviews
You seem like someone who enjoys freedom, no?
Or perhaps your poem may have been your minds attempt to be free?
The poem itself flows somewhat, although some lines may seem out of place.
However, I did enjoy the opening line, and the ending line. Those were put into place very well.
You've got to remember that grammar and punctuation go hand in hand with flow, no worries though, I've made the same mistake when I first started writing.
Flow itself is a weird thing.
It only becomes evident when a piece of writing is read aloud, always remember to read your piece of work out loud. When you stumble over a line that doesn't fit, you will know right away. But how to fix it is completely subjective.
I'm not quite sure why this line is in there, care to explain?
Again, grammar is important.
Repetition of this line was not really necessary. It ruined your flow.
Overall, this poem is decent, but a lot of polishing can be done to it.