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Young Writers Society



Flying into dreams,Forgeting yesterday, never letting go...

by Pacific_Sky14


Close your eyes under the sweet summer night!

Fly away towards the sun, to the new day.

Why is yesterday coming back like a new friend?

Take off, drift away and listen for the new sound,

It paints the art in your soul cavort.

It'll never let you go, (oh,) never let you go!


(Sing your heart a different song...)



Bottle up your dreams , then set them free up high!

balance on the air, way up there in the sky!

Follow your dreams,the past doesn't need to stay,

Dreams never let you go, (oh,) never let you go.

Just take off, drift away and listen for the new sound,

It's your heart being pressed against your chest I know,

The feeling of never letting go, never letting go


(The weight of the world i can feel no more, now I'm strong...)

(It's what we wanted to feel all along.)

(This new place I can live forever and move with the undertow...)

(These dreams I follow- I'll never let go!)


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User avatar
1162 Reviews


Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162

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Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:03 am
Carlito wrote a review...



Hey Pacific Sky, welcome to YWS! :)
If you haven't already, introduce yourself in the Welcome thread so my fellow blue people (Greeters) can say hello. Also, if you haven't already, I would recommend reading the Rules because it gives a lot of good info on the site.
Anyway... (You get my 700th post and my 180th review! :D You should feel special :))


You didn't have any blatant annoying rhymes like 'cat' rhyming with 'fat' or something, so kudos for that :) Everything flowed really well. I could hear the song in my head and I liked the overall message of the song. You had a good topic and portrayed it well. Nice job. Gold star for you :)
(Now go write some reviews of your own :))

-Carly




User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 973
Reviews: 37

Donate
Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:32 pm
Anshita wrote a review...



Pacific_Sky14 wrote:Close your eyes under the sweet summer night!

Fly away towards the sun, to the new day.

Why is yesterday coming back like a new friend?

Take off, drift away and listen for the new sound,

It paints the art in your soul cavort.

It'll never let you go, (oh,) never let you go!


(Sing your heart a different song...)



Bottle up your dreams , then set them free up high!

balance on the air, way up there in the sky!

Follow your dreams,the past doesn't need to stay,

Dreams never let you go, (oh,) never let you go.

Just take off, drift away and listen for the new sound,

It's your heart being pressed against your chest I know,

The feeling of never letting go, never letting go


(The weight of the world i can feel no more, now I'm strong...)

(It's what we wanted to feel all along.)

(This new place I can live forever and move with the undertow...)

(These dreams I follow- I'll never let go!)



I really like the lyrics. But, there is one problem in them which is that you don't have a chorus part.
If you will add the chorus the lyrics will be better.
Rhythm -
they had a nice rhythm. the song was playing in my head which is good.
Rhyme -
Nice rhyme scheme used.
Words -
Nice use of words to express your feelings.
Overall -
Overall the lyrics were good.


Keep writing.


- Anshita





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