Trying,
To find out,
If there's going to be a way,
I'm going make it up somehow.
Cause all,
I see is you.
There is,
A white flag,
Waving in my chest,
And I know I'm breaking down.
Cause all,
I see is you.
Cause when it's gone,
It's gone forever.
Regretting the mistakes that my heart severed.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Lost you now,
Like I lost you then.
And I'm lost in the sand of my hopes end.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Feel like falling,
All I feel is like,
Falling.
Asking,
And praying,
If I could get one more chance you wouldn't be sorry.
Cause all,
I see is you.
Fighting,
This feeling,
To call your phone
and leave a memory.
Cause all,
I see is you.
Cause when it's gone,
It's gone forever.
Regretting the mistakes that my heart severed.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Lost you now,
Like I lost you then.
And I'm lost in the sand of my hopes end.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Feel like falling,
All I feel is like,
Falling.
.....
Time,
Moves on.
We both moved on and were friends and were happy.
But,
I still,
Love you...
And it hurts,
Cause I can't,
Tell you...
...
Cause when it's gone,
It's gone forever.
Regretting the mistakes that my heart severed.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Lost you now,
Like I lost you then.
And I'm lost in the sand of my hopes end.
Cause all,
I know,
Is I,
Feel like falling,
All I feel is like,
Falling.
I'm falling....
------
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125,038 Literary Works • 672,927 Reviews
Hey Ossum :3
I really liked this a lot, the repeating of the falling really nailed it for me cause it pretty sums up everything you can feel when your feeling lost and broken. I could really understand you as a person and the way you think after reading this and I thoroughly enjoyed it. :3
Thank you
Hey Ossum
I really like this. This is really cool. Falling down just seems to be my style, you know? The repeating, 'Is I', is mesmerizing and seems to make the song very unique, because you don't just like, repeat the same words after 'Is I'.
Great job, really.
Thanks, and keep writing on ; mephis
nice ..like it
i really loved this!! i wish i could hear someone singing this, its beautiful. keep writing!
I agree with iheartbooks, this piece is a bit choppy and it is kind of hard to imagine it with words. You need to keep it flowing and moving in a way that the readers can understand it easier. Other than that, I didn't see anything else wrong with it, but than again I don't really write lyricals.
I could really feel the emotion coming off of this and that helps the readers make connections. It is believable. Keep writing lyricals though, you're doing great.
totally falling in love with your songs!
i really hope you get you voice back soon. *hugs*
Just a comment. Love your songs, Ossum. All I am going to say. Wish someone would sing them and bring them all to life.
~Timmyjake
I will as soon as I get my voice back xD
This is really good, I really like this piece. I can feel the emotion in it. However, the way the lines are broken up seems a little choppy or awkward in places. But I do that a lot in poems and sometimes I have it that way for a reason, so maybe you want it like that. I really like the ending. All I suggest is just going back over it after a while and looking at it with a fresh mind, that usually helps me.
Its just the way it is sung, and it helps me remember how it is sung when I go back and read it. But thank you regardless ^-^