Young Writers Society

A beautiful way to describe it!

Hello! I am Liz. I enjoyed your Poem, It was great.


First, The flow was easy to read, and understand, and It is spaced perfectly. You made it short and sweet. I loved that.

Read paves the way?? Did you mean reading paves the way? Or did you do that on purpose. I got so confused when I got to that part.

I loved how you put the poem together, It is making a visual image in my mind, and I loved that. You did so well on this. And I love your Profile Picture by the way.

Hello! I'm Anne. I don't know much about poetry, so if I sound ignorant or offensive feel free to ignore what I say! XD

Firstly, I like this piece overall. It's not a hard read, it's simple and short, straight to the point, and it's got an interesting style. It's a poem I would read to my nephew definitely, but also one I'd enjoy reading myself. I had a few issues with timing, but your format overall was good and not confusing. I would suggest working on the rhythm a little bit more, I think the only issues are easily fixed. At one point you said "read paves the way" I'm not sure, I think you meant "reading" probably. Other than that I don't see any major grammar mistakes or spelling errors. Overall, lovely poem, and keep up the good work.

Thank you for taking the time to read my review
-Anne <3

Please feel free to ignore my advice, it is not meant to offend you hurt you, or to be mean. It is not meant to make your poem sound bad that said . . .
What I liked
I loved all of it! The only problems I noticed are little things that are just me.

1. Flow and Style
Okay actually your flow and style was amazing. But a few things I think I might bring up

Read paves the way
Read paves the way? That doesn't make any sense. Maybe find a differnt word?

It’s a place where I can go

That seems like a needless sentence to me. Why bother it when just leaving a sactuary would be better? Just a thought
2. Overall & Encouragment
Good job, you did well and I loved it. I just love libraries and books! It really speaks.

Hello there! NaPo is so exciting, right? It's good to see folks brave enough to both do it and post their daily pieces.

Let's get this review started, shall we?

Technical commentary:

1. I am under the impression that you want this to be a rhyming poem. Now, it's definitely not a necessity to ensure that rhyming poems follow a syllabic rhythm, but it is certainly convention to do so, and especially with rhyming poetry helps to establish the flow of your poem.

I'm probably not experienced enough with poetry to give you advice on how to do this well in the poem itself, but it might be good to in some way establish intent regarding the rhyme-without-rhythm scheme.

2. On the other hand, I like the rhyming words that you picked! A number of them are pairs I haven't seen used before.

3. I'm curious as to why in lines five and six you switched into past-tense when pretty much everything else in this piece is in present tense. It seems a little out of place.

4. In line eight, did you mean to say 'reading' instead of 'read?'

Subjects, themes, and misc. items:

1. Man, I wrote a college application essay about a library, so I totally get feeling connected enough to the place to write about it. They're such fun places!

2. I do think it's a little odd to have that 'come down to the library' line though, because it has this odd advertising ring to it, especially given that there are rhymes in this, and I tend to associate witty things like rhymes and jokes with modern advertising.

Overall, cute poem, easy to read and understand. I wish you the best on the rest of your NaPo endeavors!

Good job,
-Buggie