Do you know of the clouds in the sky,
the little wisps playfully chasing each other?
Do you know of the kaleidoscope of colours, that is
a rainbow, dazzling in its beauty?
Do you know of the sun’s bright smile, the warmth you feel
when basking in its rays?
Yet clouds have no substance.
Yet rainbows are an illusion.
Yet the sun is high above the clouds, and it cares not for us.
The sky is not grounded in reality.
All you know, is the pouring rain,
All you know, is the freezing snow,
All you know, is the blanket of grey clouds
hanging before your eyes, casting a shadow upon the earth.
Keep dreaming.
The sky’s the limit, but one can only go so far
till their head is in the clouds.
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Wow, I did not expect to get this many comments saying they liked my work! Thanks so much for all the support! Hope you have a wonderful day ahead!
Hi, I really enjoyed your poem, it's imagery was so good and well expressed !
NoOneInParticular~
Wow either this caught me at a really vulnerable time or it's just that amazing...just kidding, it's both. This is one of the best poems I have ever read!!
Firstly, I love the imagery in this poem.
"Do you know of the clouds in the sky,
the little wisps playfully chasing each other?
Do you know of the kaleidoscope of colours, that is
a rainbow, dazzling in its beauty?"
As readers we can already imagine this setting. We can feel the bright and warm sun, and see the rainbow, and watch the clouds, and it hasn't even been a whole stanza yet. The second paragraph is vivid in a different way. Vivid because of the line
"The sky is not grounded in reality."
Wowowowow I have no words.
"Keep dreaming.
The sky’s the limit, but one can only go so far
till their head is in the clouds."
It is such a good plot twist and being someone who can write and express all of this in a poem is so incredible.
AmberMelanie
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate your kind words.
Thanks for sharing such a wondeful poem. Motivating yet grounded. Beautiful yet ugly. Joyful yet sad. Just like life.
Thanks for the like and comment!
I didn't expect that the first work I clicked on today would be one of the best poems I've ever read. And yet it is so!
I've always had a bit of a problem with poetry in my normal life. And then I come across great works like this one, which remind me that poems can be absolutely wonderful.
So, it's probably time to go to the review itself. I love this job from start to finish! I really like the theme and the way the poem is written (I can't define it better, so I can only hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you).
I love how the poem starts with questions - it entices the reader! And then we have a wonderful second stanza. I love the beautiful detail that in the second and third stanzas each verse begins with the same word! And the ending is surprisingly satisfying. This poem really deserved a star, so it got it!
As a daydreamer, I could very much identify with the theme of the poem. The name really makes sense because having your head in the clouds is a common daydreamer thing!
The poem is also very fluid and a great read. I like the wide vocabulary you use and I will definitely like to read more from you!
Have a nice rest of day/night/whatever!
Thank you! I%u2019m with you on this one; I did not expect to wake up and write one of the best poems I have ever written. (my usual works ones are more ehhh%u2026) Cheers to you and have a nice day/night!
Hold up, hold up, hold up; I have an announcement to make: everyone needs to see this, this is amazing.
I came over to the green room, thinkin' hmm, what will I review today? And low and behold I find one of our lovely Team Tortoise competitors has a little poem. I should read and review that.
What I did not expect is that I would be blown away by it's pure amazing and thoughtfulness!!! Okay where do I even start in describing how much I love this..???
First off, I love the floaty and carefree way this poem starts off. I love descriptions of the sky (a little bit too much XD), and anytime kaleidoscope is used to describe something I get happy. (It's such a fun word, too. Kaleidoscope. Kale I do scope.)
The second verse has got to be my favorite I absolutely love it too much. I must be revoked of my favorite verse privileges, though, because the whole poem is just incredible and I wish I could put into words how spectacular it is (at least to me).
I love love love the repetition, both in this and in the very next verse. It adds so much to the already meaningful and beautiful sentences. But the way it turns from cotton candy sky of rainbows and kaleidoscopes to the somewhat depressing statements about what they are is so good and sad and... real. It kind of feels like a child growing up, where they once thought there were pots of gold at the end of a rainbow, but they're really just illusions, clouds aren't cotton candy lands you can walk on, and the sun don't provide us light out of the kindness of its heart.
And then the last line? I love it so aflakdfalsdfjadsf much. The fact that sky and ground are opposites adds a lot, even though ground is used in a different way in this context. And the way it brings everything from the rest of the stanza before together to wrap it all up in the most beautiful way possible is amazing. It's just so unique and packed full of meaning in, what, 7 words? You managed to do all that in just 7 words?? (And three of them are "the" "is" and "in")
And the way the poem ends with that final stanza there? Breathtaking!! It really gives the reader something to think about, even after they've left, and I just love it so much when poets do that. I love thinking about poems long after I've read them, and I certainly will being thinking about this one.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing! This is a lovely poem, and I'm so glad I found it!!! And thanks for reviewing so much, friend! We're so glad to have you here in our wonderful little community. Please have an amazing day/night, hope your skies are sunny and bright (but not too hot ><), and please keep writing!
I%u2019m honestly pleasantly surprised by how it turned out. (Sometimes I look at my past poems and think, how did I even come up with this???)Thanks for reviewing, I%u2019m glad to be a part of this community!
Hello there, NoOne! This is Wist. I am here to review your poem.
I want to start by saying that this poem is incredibly captivating. I believe this is the first poem of yours I've ever reviewed, but I enjoy your style of heavy imagery and personification, as well as your mid-poem twist! With that said, let's get into the individual stanzas.
This is my favorite line of your first stanza. The word kaleidoscope paints such a vivid image for anyone who's played with one before. However, the first stanza is rich in vivid imagery, painting a serene picture of a summer day after a refreshing rain. It shows skill in building such a scene. And this skill is the reason why the twist in the next stanza works so well.
Speaking of your twist, here we are! You introduce a fascinating concept that I haven't seen many other poems discuss. The sky and rainbows are usually a sign of good fortune and happy times, so seeing them turned into something less positive is always fascinating. Great job here!
I know grammar rules don't apply the same way in poems; however, I get the sense that you want to use prose-adjacent rules, so I just wanted to say that the comma between know and is is not proper comma placement. If you did this on purpose, feel free to ignore it. I brought it up just in case.
These two lines are my favorite lines of your poem. You took a famous saying for encouragement and twisted it into something dark—phenomenal. Also, that mental image is strong, too—the idea of someone being so positive that they become utterly blind to the actual workings of the world, which paints the cheery beginning of this poem in a completely different light. It almost feels like the speaker or the reader was originally one of these people with their head in the clouds that came crashing to Earth after seeing how the world truly was. Fascinating.
Overall, this was a lovely poem that packed a solid punch. The only note I had was the potential comma issue because this poem is excellent. Thank you for publishing; I enjoyed reading.
Happy Writing!
Wist
Thanks for the review, Wist!
Huh, I actually didn%u2019t know that. I suppose while reading out the poem in my mind, I wanted to add a pause there as it felt natural. Would that be counted as %u201Con purpose%u201D?
Thanks for the info though. Glad you enjoyed!
Hey there friend, it is lovely to see you posting some poetry
Right from the first lines, I was really drawn to this poem. I sure love when writers ask questions to attract readers and I love the language you use in this first stanza too. In the following lines, you use words like kaleidoscope and dazzling and rainbows! I love your beautiful use of vocabulary to pain a lovely image in my mind.
The 'yet' statements were a very nice addition. It gives me this feeling of 'I want you to understand' using simple phrases to get the point across. It gives that feeling of 'this is the best I have. this is how the situation is and I cannot do anything about it, but I accept it'. And I really like that tone you use
I loved this ending you wrote:
I love this- the image of only being able to go so far. Overall, this really gives me a feeling of not overworking yourself or taking responsibility for things you are not meant to control. It gives me this sense of accepting life for what it is and for everything you have. I love this
Keep writing! Your friend,
Ellie
Hi Ellie! Thanks for taking the time to leave a review!